Author Archives: serafinachristine

Aragonite – Lizards Tongue in the Fire

A fiery stone meant for the love of ourselves and others. This stone has the power fire to clear all our chakras however it most resonates with the bottom three chakras that deal with survival, sex and will. Aragonite acts as the fire of self love to clear and greatly shift these chakras from all their hurt, anger and fear to beautiful glowing centers of love.

This stone used to be placed beneath the tongue of one who was ill and it was believed the illness came from one of these energy centers. Beneath the tongue was the easiest area for Aragonites energy to flow through the body to the much needed areas.

Aragonite has lizard like energy and focus. It is fast working when it needs to be and very exact. It opens up doors to the underworld when placed on the third eye. It can move people quickly to understand many of the metaphysical and shamanic principles of old.

Many people of old called this stone ugly and did not want to work with it, it was not seen as valuable as Citrine and other stones.

In times ancient past, aragonite was used to hear the murmurs of the water beings. It would allow us and the water beings clearer access to each other because aragonite acted as a sort of telephone between humanity and them. The stone is a record keeper of water memories, which is why it dissolves in water (careful to all those who cleanse it!).

The most common form of Aragonite, the red-orange-brown color will call on all Beings it is close to, within a radius of an average city block. The specific colors denote a stronger ability to reach Beings of a specific type, and can call all over the world for those specific types. The farther away the specific being you wish to converse with, the longer it will take to connect as you may be connecting through several stones. Once the connection is made there may be a slight lag that will dissolve with practice.

Practice makes perfect.

When loved deeply it has been said it will light up in orange and all true love that surrounds it will create an orange glow to the stone. It works best with the sacral chakra.

It is good for healers to work with this stone because it easily discharges and clears energy and used frequently by healers long past.

This stone is masculine energy, healer of ill will, sexual and survival issues.

Keywords: Masculine, clearing, intuitive, Underworld Guide, self-love, fire, powerful healer, focus

Legend Has It!

Aragonite was used by Native people for masks, statues and other objects. The natives near Pueblo still care most things from it.

“Aragonite’s six-sided crystal forms symbolize the hexagram and the Star of David or Solomon’s Seal. The Aragonite crystal clusters show us how the individual relates to the universe as a whole. They radiate outward from the center as a seed, or individual soul, that grows and manifests itself through life’s experiences and events.

Aragonite remind us of our true center, as new energies enter or appear around us as life events. They represent our own spiritual and physical growth, from the self and how we interact with the world and life.”

– zoultier.com (Couldn’t have said it better; see Key Sources at the Bottom of this Post)

Awesome Healing Work

For the Planet:

Aragonite is a well known and noteworthy mineral for its ability to heal the planet. It has been known to transmute blockages and stress within the Earths ley-lines and energy system, even at a distance, clearing away.

For Humanity:

Aragonite is useful for centering oneself and connecting to the Planet before healing or mediation. It is a stone that is believed to teach “deep thinking skills” and is therefore useful in business and personal life, and helping one to live with open-hearted joy. It helps one to learn how to give and to receive things, as well as teaching moderation. Aragonite has been used to communicate in the higher realms and to access past lives,. It has been known to increase the power of prayers.

This stone has been known to increase a persons self-worth and self-confidence. It has been known to help people become disciplined and more reliable.

Common Metaphysical and Healing Uses

An aragonite elixir can be used as a “spring tonic” and for the amelioration of general aches and pains.”

Historically aragonite has been used to draw out flus or colds from the body, ridding the body of chills instantly, and has been used for treatment of chronic fatigue, hair loss, skin conditions and mending broken bones.

Cool Facts

Pakistan onyx and alabaster are also Aragonite.

The shiny pearlescent color on sea shells on Mother of Pearl are actually several layers of Aragonite – many animals with shells and corals secrete aragonite to make their shells and pearls.

Aragonite increases the energy of prayers and magic charms.

Chakras: Sacral and Solar Plexus Chakras.

Astrological Sign: Capricorn, Cancer.

Key Sources:

http://www.controverscial.com/Aragonite.htm

http://www.thatcrystalsite.com/guide/properties-glossary.php

http://www.zoultier.com/gem-historical-metaphysic-zoultier/aragonite-historical-metaphysical-healing-properties

Serafina Christine is a creative free spirited cyclist and mystic who has committed to Follow Her Bliss. She is the creator of Willows Lavender, where she specializes in making Gemstone Elixirs and the healing arts

Job Results in Life Changing Realization

This week was a revolutionary week for me in my mindset and beliefs.

I had taken a job at a convenience store that in no way suited me. The company and I didn’t have the same values, nor did the job allow me to have any sort of self-expression or a feeling of fulfilment at the end of my shift. Where I would like to be helping people, I was serving them cigarettes and junk food. When I would like to have self-expression through my hair and clothing, at work it was reduced to uniformity to not look any different than anyone else – I had to wear black pants.* When I went in search of said pants I couldn’t buy them. They didn’t inspire me in any way, shape or form. Neither did my job.

I tried hard to be happy working there. The people there were kind and my manager flexible with my schedule. I was earning money. A person can be happy anywhere, right? Each day before work I would ground and centre myself so that I could present my most joyful self. I wanted to connect with the customers that were coming through, lighten them, spread joy. Instead I found myself quickly drained and grumpy.

For me, it felt like my soul was dying each day that I went to work and I lost a bit of my individuality. I felt like I was loosing consciousness and awareness with each customer that I rung through my till. Troubling.

Reflecting on this and the job, I wondered to myself why I was there. It occurred to me during my reflections that I could quit my job. And if I did, everything would be okay and work itself out. Exciting!

Later in the day, when talking with a friend, my job situation came up. When I heard myself speak I became aware that I was working a job unsuitable to my personality and who I am because I was scared of lack – not having a liveable income or home.

I learned that I was re-enacting a pattern that has occurred in my life over and over again over the past six years, one I’m ready to stop. The pattern is taking a job “just because I need the money” instead of taking a job because I like it or enjoy it. Whenever I’ve taken a job for that reason, using the logic that once I have something I’ll be able to search for what I want, I’ve never been able to find an enjoyable job. Instead I get dragged down by a job I don’t enjoy and end up not searching for anything new or I jump to another equally unsatisfying job.

This festered and grew in my mind over the next few days and came into being a huge realization that is indeed revolutionary to the way that I live my life:

If I choose to do something out of fear-based energies, then I will attract more fear-based energies into my life. But if I choose instead, to do something out of love-based energies then love-based energies will surely flow into my life.

That made too much sense to me to ignore it.

I needed to quit.

But I was scared.

This is a very different way of thinking for me that wasn’t taught to me by my family, school, or even by my culture. The more I contemplated this the more it made sense, and several occurrences happened creating confidence in me and in my decision.

First I noticed in the prayer that I’ve been saying each morning for a few weeks includes this line:

Oh Kind and Merciful Kuan Yin, give me steadfast courage to follow my heart in my life’s journey, even when it means defying the expectations of others to reach my true destiny.

The same day I choose to do what I needed to do I pulled the affirmation card stating:

I am totally adequate for all situations. I am one with the power of the Universe. I claim this power, and it is easy for me to stand up for myself.

I wondered, is quitting a job that is unsuitable to me standing up for myself? Is it ultimately an act of self-love?

One of the women in my class made the statement that day, “It’s like I had to give myself permission to be happy.”

Ironically, that’s what I felt that I needed to do. Why do I need to work a job I don’t like? How does that make sense? I don’t and it doesn’t make sense. The Universe put us on the planet to be happy, not to be miserable. Our life is supposed to be filled with joy in all areas, however that looks for each of us. And it will be different for all of us. Obviously, this job is not my joy.

Then, in the book I was reading, I stumbled upon:

“Follow your bliss. – Joseph Campbell”

Well, you know, a woman has to do what a woman has to do. I decided I want to bring forth only energies of love, therefore all things that I do will be based out of love and happiness instead of fear.

I called my workplace and quit. A weight lifted off of me, and I was happy and excited about life again. Curiosity about what life and I can create in my universe came back.

The next day I pulled these affirmations:

I now go beyond other peoples fears and limitations. It is ‘my’ mind that creates my experiences. I am unlimited in my own ability to create the good in my life.

It is safe to look within. As I move through the layers of other peoples opinions and beliefs I see within myself a magnificent being, wise and beautiful. I love what I see in me.

Suiting, no?

*My wardrobe has morphed into mainly skirts/dresses, with the very odd day being a jeans day.

New Feature! Moonstone – Eye of the Goddess

This beautiful soft and loving stone was born deep in the embryos of the Earth with loving acceptance always as her role. She pulsates with the fluid energy of Kali while bringing forth Mother Mary’s purity and Athenas wisdom.

Soother of hearts,

Blue Moonstone

gatherer of tears,

shining as a star does

in the moonlight

she draws for in the user

and holder the strong yet soft,

open yet wise,

fluid yet demanding

energy of the feminine.

She quells the feminine when she has grown too strong for the masculine, her counterpart and lover she cannot live without. For her the ultimate joy comes working in deep and mystical equal partnership with the masculine. She demands to take responsibility for all of her actions and uses her deepest wisdom to bring forth the results she craves and desires quickly, sometimes dramatically, but powerfully.

She is the Eye of the Goddess.

Keywords: Intuitive, all knowing, wise, strong, fluid, powerful, loving, open, authentic, balance of masculine and feminine energies, mystical, moonlover

What an introduction, eh?

This is a new feature with a focus various legends and lore of the gemstones. I’ll be channelling pieces from the Akashic Records like the above piece with pieces of my research and experience following below. Enjoy! Let’s get down to the lore!

My Experience

My experience of moonstone has been powerful and long. I began working with this gemstone several years ago after I dreamed of an old druid-like man appearing in my room. He told me that moonstone would protect me, and to place small pieces above every door and window. It would only allow the good to enter, and nothing bad would be able to pass through.

The next day I bought several tumbled pieces of moonstone that have travelled with me since, almost always being placed above the doors and windows of the rooms I live in. That has been my main use of this stone, occasionally sitting and wearing the odd stone for its calming and intuitive presence.

Writing this blog post inspired me to begin wearing a large piece of moonstone that sits on my windowsill most days and to observe the changes in my life. I noticed immediately a shift: powerful loving energies swirling around my being providing protection, intuitive insights and grace; a grace allowing me to confidently stand in my feminine. Moonstone is a keeper.

Legend Has It

In India, in Vedic legend it is told a battle was fought between Lord Vishnu and Bali, the demon god. Vishnu destroyed Bali by breaking his body into several pieces, which fell to the earth as different jewels. Moonstone was formed from the gleam of Bali’s eyes.

It is believed that the finest blue moonstones are washed ashore by the tides every 21 years, when the sun and moon were in an astrologically harmonious aspect to each other.

Blue moonstone is the most coveted around the world out of all the various types of moonstone.

Romans believed that moonstone was formed by frozen moonlight because of the way it shimmers.

Amulets of moonstone were hung in fruit trees to produce abundance crops. The amulets were associated with the following Goddesses: Isis, Diana, and Selene.

Moon Uses

There is said to be a white mark on the moonstone that follows the cycle of the moon. As the moon waxes and wanes, so too does the mark on the stone. When the moon is waning the wearer would be able to foretell evens, and when the moon was waxing it was used as an effective love charm.

When the moon is full, it is said that a lover can predict the future of the relationship by placing the moonstone in the mouth.

There are cultures that use moonstone as an aphrodisiac, and legends in India and Europe that state two people will fall passionately in love when the moon is high if they wearing moonstone in any way.

When staring at a moonstone for a long uninterrupted period of time it is said to put the person into a trance or hypnotize them. During this time insights into the future will be gained.

It is said that within the moonstone lives a spirit full of good that can bring abundance, fertility, and calmness to the users.

In the Middle East women sew moonstones to their clothes when they want to conceive a child.

An elixir was traditionally made of crushed moonstone to help cure insomnia, and the stone was also used to treat sleepwalking.

Purchase your Moonstone elixir here!

Astrological Sign: Cancer, sometimes also with signs in August (Leo, Virgo)

Chakra: Any – can be used to balance any chakra. In India associated with the third eye and sacral chakra, in other traditions with the heart and crown chakras.

Associated Christian Names: Mary and Matthew

Key Sources:

Curious Lore of Precious Stones by George Fredrick Kunz

http://www.ehow.com/info_8327031_myths-moonstone.html

http://shoppeatthemistymoon.com/blog/?p=365

Do you have a gemstone or mineral inside your collection that you love and are curious about it? Do you wonder how best to work with it? Or what its purpose is for you? I do gemstone readings in person and by distance! Click here to find out more.

Serafina Christine is a creative free spirited cyclist and mystic who has committed to learning how to best Follow Her Bliss. She is the creator of Willows Lavender, where she specializes in readings and gemstone therapy, including gemstone elixirs.

Graduation!

This week I graduated from a very special six month employability program.

This program contained a heart and soul that is way beyond any government supported program I’ve witnessed or been a part of. The program focuses on women who’ve experienced trauma in their lives and teaches skills to re-enter the workforce with healthy boundaries, positive thinking patterns, confidence, increased self-esteem and professionalism.

The graduation was emotionally charged, especially for all the graduates. Almost everyone of us cried. After sharing our speeches, and being honored for all the hard work that we have done on a professional and personal level, we left Bridges.

Many of us will go back for additional support to the cocoon of love that has been created by all the people who work there. Their passion for helping women, providing healing, one by one, step by step shines through the work they do.

We will not come together again as we did in the classroom, three times each week, for learning and growth. In a short time we created a sense of family together, and now we will leave, each of us on our individual paths, but this time, feeling empowered and confident.

In honor of my graduation, I would like to share with you my speech. I was crying and shaking as I read it aloud in front of around thirty people: new students to the program, fellow graduates and their friends and family and the staff of Bridges.

“When I first came to Bridges I had no idea how much my experiences here would change my life. I came because I intuitively knew it would be invaluable.

I believe there are so many people, men and women, who could benefit from attending a program like this. There were many times a friend of mine would listen to what I’m up to with Bridges and say “Wow, I wish I could experience that.”

My time in Bridges has taught me that I am a strong and invaluable woman, who is an asset to this world. It has shown me that my gifts and strengths can be used, appreciated, explored. I’ve learned to trust myself despite what is going on around me, and to practice self-love every single day.

I am in the process of stepping into my own power and womanhood, a process that Bridges helped to expediate and ground, while providing direction and support that I will be eternally grateful for. I know there is so much that I’ve taken away from this program that I might not have received otherwise.

I’ve learned that I am a soul that thrives on the act of creation, and that it is okay for me to “Follow My Bliss” as Joseph Campbell so famously said. I’ve learned that it is okay for me to make my way in this world, my way.

I am proud to be graduating Bridges with this group of wonderful and beautiful women. I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to witness their journey’s and to have mine witnessed by such strong and wise women who have blossomed so much in these last six months.

Now that I am done Bridges, courage will be my friend, my vulnerability my strength, my heart my guide, my passions my focus, my love my life.

In short, I am a superhero.”

My New Role Model

I have a new role model. Her name is Lady Gaga.

Recently I watched a short documentary about her and to my great delight and surprise it was repeated over and over again how much work she put into her art and her life path.

For some reason I had an impression that success doesn’t take a lot of work. I had this vague idea of how it comes about easily and almost effortless very quickly once the ball gets rolling. All you need to do is be in the right place at the right time or meet the right person.

Working at my own business, Willows Lavender, has been A LOT of work. I’ve been determined and focused on the business because I’m confident that I will eventually live off of the earnings somehow. Its simply a desire I’ve had from a young age that I don’t want to work for anyone else. I want the freedom and autonomy that comes with being self-employed.

For a while I was reading about all these successful people – entrepreneurs, investors, business people, social entrepreneurs, spiritual leaders – who were offering how to’s for success. It seemed rare to come across someone who would simply say “It took a hell of a lot of work to get here. I gave up nights and days to get where I am today.” Persistence and determination came up too of course, but for some reason my mind was like “yeah, yeah, got that, what else can I do?”

Most often I read “Find something you love, and do it” with how-to steps given on starting, but not much beyond that. Logic dictates that if you find what you love, you won’t want to stop doing it so a huge part of being self-employed is solved right there.

I feel that is a misunderstanding and that ultimately self-employment, often like a spiritual path, is an undertaking that is usually extremely individual. This means that while other people’s advice and thoughts can help broaden my horizons and introduce new thoughts to contemplate it still all comes down to me and the decisions I make.

What works for me? What will work for me? For clients, whom am I going to resonate most with? How am I best going to present myself? What is my business going to evolve into as I evolve and grow? How do I want to design my life, and therefore my work experience and income? How am I going to present myself to the world?

These are all questions that are very personal and flexible. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for me so it becomes a process of trial and error or sometimes following intuitive hunches as I make my way through the business world.

Lady Gaga lives her life like its a work of art. Every action and every appearance she makes is another work of art that will end up creating a beautiful masterpiece that looks inside the pure and innocent parts of humanity as well as the gross parts.

I can’t commend or thank her enough for that inspiration of being a living example of a strong co-creator with the Universe. Our lives are a blank canvas that get painted with all of our choices. Some of us have colorful canvases and others have canvases that are shades of gray. Some of us are happy with our canvases, and some of aren’t. Sometimes we try to throw away our canvas and start anew.

The Universe is whispering to you and me that all we dream is truly possible. Our lives are a blank canvas, begin to consciously create and you will see your creations come alive through determination and a lot of hard work.

Lady Gaga’s knew what she wanted and she took all the steps she feasibly could while working hard. This gave the Universe sufficient energies to manifest exactly what she desired, and turned her into a very powerful woman. Her life is an example of the Law of Attraction manifest.

According to the documentary Lady Gaga was born and named Stefani in 1986. She began learning piano at four and showed musical talent early on. She focused on song writing and creating her persona while working hard to make a living at not so glamorous jobs, sometimes working as many as three at a time. She was broke and just making ends meet, but her life changed when she Akon heard her and signed her to his label. Her life changed quickly thereafter as her songs started climbing the charts.

This inspires me. She’s a superstar success at a young age with a philanthropist spirit who stands strong in the image that she has cultivated over the years with a lot of thought and practice. I have an entirely new view of her and much more respect since watching the documentary.

Lady Gaga posters anybody?

Who, alive today, inspires you and is your role model? Why?

 

 

 

Sleeping with Rose Quartz

I have started sleeping with a rose quartz ball that is about ten cm in diameter.

It sounds strange and uncomfortable, I know, but like many good things it just kind of happened.

You see, one of my friends gifted this beautiful piece of rose quartz to me and I placed the stone on my alter. A few days later I took out all my stones from their storage box many of the small stones asked to be placed on the alter to create a mandala of sorts. I ran out of room on the alter table for the rose quartz so I placed her in the middle of the bed with the intention to find her a suitable spot to live.

I ended up being in no hurry to move her because where she ended up on the bed was just too suitable – almost in the center of the room she ties in all of the crystal energies perfectly creating in my opinion, a near perfect crystal grid covering the room.

For past week I’ve woken up and found myself curled around this large rose quartz ball like she is a teddy bear! This subconscious action is interesting to me because for the past few weeks I’ve witnessed me blaming myself for things outside of my control, guilting myself for actions I’ve chosen to take, belittling and insulting myself, on top of all the crooked thinking patterns spoken about in the previous posts (click here and here to read them).

My mind can make my day rainbows and sunshine or a quicksand of hate and self-depreciation. It amazes me how much the mind can affect the day to day decisions that need to be made and how it colours all of my interactions with the people I meet. I wondered briefly if my state of mind could be seen so I began to watch people closer to see if I can determine their state of mind by the words that they use.

Frequently I can. It seems we reveal a lot more to the avid observer than we know or intend.

This in turn makes me reflect on my state of mind each morning before I leave the bed and the loving ball of rose quartz. I want to give the world my best, and I know now that every single interaction will reveal more about me than I am consciously aware of – I am not at the state of awareness that I can observe all levels of me and change it before it happens yet.

One would think that compliments and kind words from friends and strangers alike would lift one out of a negative state of mind but it doesn’t appear to be that way. I have come to the conclusion that it is a choice that determines which state of mind one is in. That choice is most often made outside of our awareness.

It can be hard to stay in the state of mind that one would prefer as well, simply because most human being, myself included are usually influenced by the people around us and the environments that we are in. I find it much easier, personally, to think a certain way until someone comes around that I like or respect who says something different.

My thought was a red helium balloon floating around bringing joy, laughter and smiles to all who saw it, taking me along for a ride in the sky until I allowed it to become deflated based on another persons thought.

It’s a challenge to refill a helium balloon that has a hole in it, even more so if the hole is just a pinprick causing a slow leak. Generally speaking, a popped balloon gets replaced, which is often what happens when a thought has been “deflated” – it’s been replaced with someone else’s idea or thought, not our own.

I feel that the Rose Quartz has been helping me immensely by sharing her loving energies with me each night. I no longer want to move her from my bed. She may be as hard as a rock, but she’s more energetically soft and love filled than a stuffed animal. It seems that when I am least able to give myself the self-love that I need this beautiful stone has stepped up to the plate, sharing her love every night that I need it.

This particular stone feels like a giant hug when its held and its power is strong. Rose Quartz is a stone well known for the love and healing energies that it gives off. Pink in color it works primarily with the heart chakra, and has been known to attract loving relationships into the users life. Rose Quartz is one of the more common stones, and asks that we take the time to take care of ourselves and practice staying centered in our heart. The world is full of joy and love if we are able to see and accept it and vice versa.

I’ve definitely noticed me shifting subtly from the negative mindset I was in a few weeks ago to a more positive and upbeat mindset. I’m on my way to the old me full of upbeat joy! I feel that her energies are helping me heal my heart and bring my souls love forth.

The shift I’ve noticed is not just from the Rose Quartz. I’ve been practicing gratitude and writing down what I want more moments of, and I’ve witnessed one of my friends who has been particularly inspiring to me as of late.

Throughout all of her circumstances, even in ones that, if I were her, I would’ve just been too angry to do anything but scream or cry she has taken them on with the most open-hearted joy that I have ever seen a person express. Everything has a positive to it, and she quickly finds it with laughter no matter what life has just served her.

I shared a quote with her that turned out to be one of the quotes that she has been aspiring to live for the past year or two, and is succeeding in:

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” – Buddha

Do you have a quote that inspires you? What is it? Any inspiring friend stories? What is your favorite stone/crystal to sleep with? Why?

P.S. I once slept with carnelian under my pillow, and had nightmares for all three nights he was there. I figured out later that carnelian vibrates best with the root chakra, thus it is better placed near the root when sleeping… lol. face palm.

Leaf Deadly or Not

I went to the park and while I was there, did a Reiki session on myself. I was lying on a beautiful moss covered rock surrounded by oak trees that overlooked the shaggy grass, blackberry bushes and small trees that cover the bottom half of the park. I began contemplating the plants surrounding me and an experience I had while waiting for food from the Miracle Center…

Standing with two other women beside the garden I breathe deeply as a waft of mint gently floats by. “Mmmm… smells so good.”

One of the women reaches down and touches the leaves of one of the small plants in the garden. “It’s mint, from here.”

Excitedly I look at the small plant with purple flowers on its top, similar to lavender. “It doesn’t look like a mint I’m familiar with; perhaps its spearmint?”

She shrugs, and points at a large bush behind the mint plants. “I think this is bay leaf.”

We both smelled the plant, and laughed because we could only smell mint now that we had rubbed our fingers along the mint leaves.

“I wonder if it is bay leaf. I don’t want to try it just in case its not.” She said.

Now as I lie on my rock in the park I contemplated that statement. A small bite of a leaf or a berry will not harm most healthy people. Yet I’ve also been told as a child not to try leaves or berries because some of them are deadly. Even now I often wonder what something is, and instinctively want to try the leaves or the fruit. I catch myself because of the fear that I might get sick.

Sure we might have a bit of a reaction, but it will not kill us. Herbs are known to help us, never to harm us unless we take them in a large amount. It is such a delight to try a mysterious plant that calls to me only to find when I taste it that I recognize it! My whole being lights up with joy!

Since when did a bite of a leaf become something that we avoid?

And if a small bite of a leaf or berry is indeed that powerful what are we doing trying to heal ourselves with pills? Those pills take a bit of the original plant and put it in an artificial form filled with other things that may or may not help us. Most of us don’t really know what is in that pill.

The whole part of the plant will help us in a natural form that compliments our bodies. It is not a foreign object that yes, our body can digest, but is it easy on our bodies?

Lying on the moss covered rock I looked around at the plants that have slowly become more and more my friends since moving out to the West Coast. My heart fills with love and gratitude for their healing energies and also their wisdom. It makes me sad to feel that their wisdom is being lost among the general populace.

Did you know that red roses can be used to stop bleeding? Their petals can be dried and ground into a powder that can be used on sore throats. They can also be used in a salve that will help heal rashes, sores and cuts. Pretty cool eh? They smell good too.

Everywhere I walk there are red roses blooming in Victoria. How many people will think of saving them for future use.

The Universe has given us a pharmacy right outside our doorstep. I’ve heard that saying before and its only in the past few months that I’ve really been able to experience it in action. I’ve begun to enjoy searching out the plants, identifying and naming them. Here in Victoria, when walking or biking I am able to point out the plants that I’ve learned and recite to myself what I’ve learned they can help with.

I feel proud and empowered when I experience a symptom of something and can walk out my door with nothing only to walk back in a few hours later with a herb that will relieve it. I’m not sure I will ever know all the herbs and their properties, but I would be happy with a working knowledge that remedies most common complaints.

For a time I was thinking to myself how amazing it would be if basic herbalism and gardening and other such skills were taught in the public school system. I stumbled into a program here in Victoria, called Lifecycles, which is doing just that. And I’m now a volunteer there! I’m super excited about it because I get to learn, and participate in teaching children about the planet. How cool is that?

There is still so much to learn and I am looking forward to my explorations. I am so grateful that Victoria has such a huge group of people that are involved in learning and teaching this medicine. The Ecovillage movement is rapidly growing here as more and more people are drawn to community living in balance with nature and organic foods.

Not only in Victoria is a movement of living closer to the Earth growing. In Russia in 2006 a law was passed giving a hectare of land to any willing family free of charge that can be passed down generationally. This was implemented in the hopes to reduce poverty and homelessness while providing more income for the families, from my understanding. It may have possibly been based on the plan from The Ringing Cedar Series.

I believe both of these movements will continue to grow as they feel to be a much needed step. They may not be perfect, but it is through taking a step that we get closer to something “perfect”.

My heart is happy to be witness to these positive steps of change that are occurring. YAY humanity!

I’m excited to continue delving into learning more about plants and how to preserve and grow food. I know the knowledge will come in handy someday… Perhaps when I’m living on my own plot of land on an Ecovillage or in a situation similar to Russia…? 🙂

Are there herbs that you regularly use? What for? Do you see the value of herbal medicine? What do you think of the law passed in Russia and Ecovillages?

The Merry-Go-Round of Self-Respect and Selfishness

This week was chalk full (where did that saying come from?) of stuff coming up for me. All of it I’ve looked at before and delved into it, but this time I knew it wasn’t a reminder. It was an invitation to go deeper, go through another layer, take another ride on the Merry Go Round.

The horses that I would ride on my beautiful red with gold gild carousel would be called Selfishness and Self-Respect. If I could give my love to both horses at the same time I would, however, I can only fully focus on one at a time. Thus I will do so:

Self-Respect

The class I’m in right now focuses on helping women gain employment skills and increase self-confidence and self-esteem. A common theme became evident in a classroom conversation when the teachers were out of class: All of us had met and dated men that did not respect women.

Many of us agreed that there definitely are men out there that respect women. Just how do we meet one?

I explained what we had noticed and put the following question to one of my good friends and sometimes mentor. “Why is it that we all seem to be  experiencing men who don’t respect women?”

Her response was a question: “How many of the women in your group respect themselves?”

Thinking about it, not many of us do. We are in the process of learning to respect ourselves. It shows through the significant differences that have emerged among all the women from our first day to now from the way we act, speak, and are taking care of ourselves.

On the flip side, how can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?

I began evaluating my life. How am I not respecting myself? What does it look like to respect myself? How would I define respect?

Here are some of the things that came to mind for me:

Boundaries. Trusting myself. Following my heart and my intuition. Giving myself what I need: space to contemplate and process, silence. Taking care of myself first.

What would it look like to respect myself? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I imagine I would feel empowered and strong. Guarding my boundaries would be second nature. I would know how I am feeling and how to respectfully state it. My voice would be used appropriately and be heard.

How am I not respecting myself? Boundaries are huge for me and learning what it is that I am feeling.

Its so important that to know what I am emotionally feeling. Often times I need a while to identify and process what I feel. As much as I would like to rush this process I need to allow it to flow. This will make my life easier, and when I am in relationships I will be able to better handle myself. It will become clearer to me why I am making the choices I choose.

Following my heart and intuition I feel I’m doing okay on. It is usually easier for me to follow my intuition but it gets cloudy when I don’t have the space that I need to allow my heart and intuition to speak.

Selfishness

It seems that we are programmed in Western Society to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish, and that selfishness is bad bad bad! I believe this to be a faulty thought pattern. As a healer I often hear, witness and fall victim to the thought that I must be selfless and therefore all that I possibly can to others. This is not true.

It came to my awareness last year that taking care of myself leads to me taking even better care of others. It made it okay for me to do what I need to do and not drop everything I was doing for other people. It was okay to ensure that I had a bit of time for myself each day.

I have noticed that still to this day I will allow other people to have more presence in my life than what I would personally like. For me one of the biggest acts of selfishness is taking myself away from others in time and in presence. This is also one of the healthiest things that I can do for myself.

Selfishness is a behavior that is trained out of us though that can benefit many. It allows us to clarify what we desire and want. It allows us to create and to be. It allows us to know ourselves.

Selfishness is not bad when it is not in the egotistical extreme. It is a good thing in many cases. We are living on this planet for ourselves, not for others. Yes, we may help others a long our way which is an experience that can create sensations of goodness, but ultimately our life needs to be lived for us. If we let others rule our life will we truly find happiness, contentment or joy?

Is it selfish that as a healer I will reschedule a session with a client if I do not feel that I can be fully present? A year ago I wouldn’t have, but now it is simply that I cannot give them a quality session when I am in a poor emotional, mental or physical state. This action takes care of myself and provides my client a better quality service.

As much as I have grown in this regard I still take better care of other people than I do myself.

Often I treat people in my life how I want to be treated, however I don’t treat myself nearly as well. Rarely do I spoil myself in ways that make my soul sing. It is easy for my boundaries to become mucky and my voice go unheard. Often experiences of silence that soothe my soul more than anything else disappear. Space that I require to process and contemplate I choose to relinquish because I want to spend time with others.

I love them more than I love me it seems.

Taking care of myself will automatically create self-respect and trust.

By being “selfish” I know that no matter what is happening in my life I will consistently take care of myself. Therefore I can trust that my needs are being met. Self-respect will grow.

The act of sacrificing a part of me because its “right” or because it will help someone no longer exists. I will stay whole, and I will stay me.

My horses seem to be brother and sister. Perhaps they are the beautiful chestnut horses that pull the carriage on my Merry Go Round. When I work with one the other becomes stronger, and vice versa. I love that they are so inter-related!

What do you think self-respect is? Thoughts on selfishness?

Crooked Thinking and Limiting Beliefs Part 2

Last weeks blog post became so long I had to divide it into two! This post focuses more on my learning, the reminders that I received during the workshop and some of my thoughts that occurred to me.

One of the main reminders I received in the workshop is that my choice of words is very important and do matter. A lot of re-framing reminds me of non-violent communication (NVC) because it has so much to do with the choice of words that we use when talking to ourselves. Our word choices easily spill out to our communications with other people, but if we focus on changing the words we use with others it will change how we think and vice versa.

It seems much more powerful to focus on, or at least be aware of, both at once. I’m curious if thought rehabilitation would be faster that way?

The following questions began to surface in my mind: How conscious have I been the last couple weeks? How aware have am I right now? Am I in the present moment?

And sadly, I have to say, that these last couple weeks being in the present moment and consciously aware of what I am doing have not been on the top of my priority list. I’ve felt like I’m floating around for the majority of the time. In that moment I renewed my commitment to practicing self-awareness and bringing myself back to the present moment.

Nobody can make me feel anything. The phrase “He made me mad.” is false because he didn’t make me mad. I feel mad when he does that because… Most likely the because is due to a link of an experience from the past. It is my choice to acknowledge the feelings that come up and how I deal with them.

As soon as I say “He made me mad” I’ve given my power away to him. In order for me to not give away my power to anyone else I need to take full responsibility for how I feel and thereby how I act. I never have to act angry if I choose not to act angry. Instead I can acknowledge the feeling and the underlying emotion and choose a desired option such as releasing my anger in a healthy way.

Feelings and emotions are two different things. Feelings are fleeting and can change in an instant. Emotions tend to stay with us and are much more difficult to change. I studied with a psychologist once who liked to state that all feelings come from one of four base emotions: pain, love, fear, joy.

When thinking about negative and positive thoughts, I often see that there are two parts of me. Each part is a plant. One plant is the positive and the other plant is negative. I have a choice of which one I will water and give food to. Thinking negative thoughts will help the negative plant and part of me to grow. But if I think positive thoughts, and change my negative thoughts to positive ones my positive side and plant grows strong. In the meantime the negative side withers and shrinks. The part of me that I pay most attention to will eventually take on a life of its own, making it easier to think in a particular way until its natural.

After contemplating the workshop material for a few days, I’ve come to conclude that I function under the core belief that I am flawed. Looking at myself completely honestly I have many of the thought patterns and behaviors listed.

I’ve put on my war gear and superhero cape and am proud to report that I’m slowly but surely winning the battle of minds.

The picture to the side with the saying “It is easier to build up a child than to repair a man” has been getting passed around on my Facebook. I have to agree: Repairing myself is a lot of work. It takes a lot of time, energy, awareness and constant alertness. It can be serious. A lot is at stake, as in most wars.

I like to make it playful and dramatic because it makes things so much more fun.

In my mind’s eye I put on my fighting gear, which changes according to the activity and my mood . Then I see my weapons – skills, life experience, tools – being brandished and I get ready for battle. I sit down in lotus pose even when I’m in a black latex suit with cats ears on my head like  Cat Woman. Perhaps I’ll be Storm another day. Or maybe a ninja. Sometimes I’m just me.

I’m waiting to catch the thought, waiting for the moment to come where I can best act…

And when that moment comes I pounce on it! I use all the skills, tools and life experience I’ve accumulated to counteract the thought.

Often I miss the thought, that sweet moment when I know I’ve changed this one. The times that I catch them are quickly increasing in frequency, and my superhero self is getting much more skilled. Slowly I am learning the ways that thought patterns like to disguise themselves.

For me, changing my thoughts changes my life. Changing a thought can easily and effortlessly change my entire world; it can create a new world. It can bring things into my life, help me expand what I see and experience, and create more knowing and wisdom. It allows me to know my soul a bit more and allow my Highest Service to come through.

I believe that complete and true freedom comes from ones thoughts. It comes when we no longer have anyone else’s programming (intended or not) running through us even at the subconscious level. It comes when we are able to have all areas in our lives run congruent, in time with each other, in full alignment with all of ourselves.

All of us can attain this freedom, and that we all can change the thoughts that we have if we choose to do so. Yes, it is hard work that ceaselessly needs to be done, but the layers and thoughts do change. That’s how you know you’ve graduated from one grade to the next.

How many grades are there?

I don’t know.

That is why I believe this workshop is so important. What do you think? Thoughts? Do you have moments that you see yourself as a superhero? When? What is complete and true freedom to you?

 

Crooked Thinking and Limiting Beliefs

Last weeks blog post gave you an example of what I would like to discuss today – re-framing crooked thinking and limiting beliefs. Recently at Bridges we took a workshop called “Changing Limiting Belief Systems.” It was a highly valuable class where I learned a lot and received reminders of what I’ve been working on. I would like to share some of of the workshop with you, my lovely readers. Perhaps you will find the knowledge and technique as helpful as I did.

This approach is called cognitive restructuring from my understanding of cognitive therapy. Though a very left-brain approach this technique seems very useful and follows how most people naturally think. Many of us in class discovered we were already doing this work to various degrees. Now we were just getting the vocabulary and a greater understanding of what exactly we were doing. This workshop, and article will, focus on re-framing our thoughts and creating choices for how we respond to situations and people in our lives.

Re-framing is the art of turning something around, in this case a negative thought to a postive thought. This requires acknowledging the feelings surrounding the thought and making a choice on how to proceed. Let’s talk about core beliefs for a moment.

Core beliefs are thoughts that are so strong they seem to be a apart of us and govern us. For many people, but not all, these thoughts are subconscious. They can be brought to conscious awareness and changed with awareness and mindfulness.

Negative core beliefs can cause distorted thinking/crooked thinking which doesn’t serve our Highest Good. For example, having the core belief that I am flawed in some way might lead to me having avoidance behaviours, perfectionism, or being inauthentic.

Positive core beliefs help us a long our path and serve our Highest good. They bring about healthy boundaries, and positive behaviors that protect us as well as authenticity and true unshakeable confidence that comes from inside ourselves.

Reframing involves four steps.

  1. Recognize. Notice the thought and ask yourself, “Is this serving me? Is it positive or negative?” If it is negative, “Do I want to work with this thought right now and reframe it? Where does this thought come from? When did it start? Why am I thinking this?” And my favorite: “What is my motive?”
  2. Acknowledge. Notice and say hi to the feelings that are coming up with the thought. You can’t deny them; they are there and real, and will come back to haunt you if you try denial. Seriously. They will. What are your feelings telling you?
  3. Stop or Disrupt the thought. The beautiful thing about our minds is that we can only think one thought at a time. I know that sometimes it feels like we are thinking a millions things at once: our brain is going so fast, a thousand miles a second, that we must be thinking a million things at once. Not true.
  4. Replace the thought with a new thought. If you don’t do this last and final step you will have a hole left where the old thought was inside your thinking patterns. That means the old thought can easily come back, so simply replace it with a positive thought and a positive way of thinking.

One of the most useful things I received in the workshop is a list of ten common patterns of distorted or crooked thinking.

All-or-Nothing (Black & White Thinking) – Switching from one extreme to another. Eg. “One mistake ruined the whole thing.”

Overgenerallization – Assuming that because something happened once it will always happen. Eg. “I always blow it at the last minute.” or “You always forget to do the things I ask.”

Mental Filter (Dwelling on the Negative) – Dwell on the negatives and ignore the postives. Eg. “I got it right this time but I had to try three times before I finally got it right.”

Discounting the Postivies – Insisting that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. Eg. “I was just lucky.”

Jumping to Conclusions – Part A is Mind Reading. Belieivng that you know what other people are thinking. Eg. “They all thought I was stupid.” Part B is Fortune Telling. Arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out badly. Eg. “Everything is bound to go wrong.”

Magnification or Minimization – Either blowing things way up out of porportion or shrinking their importance inappropriately. Eg. “I’ll never get over it.”

Emotional Reasoning – Mistaking feeling for facts. Eg. “I’m so worried; I just know soemthing is going to go wrong.”

Should statements – Criticizeing yourself or others with shoulds, shouldn’ts, musts, oughts and have tos.

Labelling (Name Calling) – Idenfiying with your shortcomings or mistakes. Eg. “I’m and idiot.” or “Anybody who could do that must be brain dead.”

Personalization and Blame – Blaming yourself for soemthing that was not your responsibility. “Its all my fault” or “If only I’d done more.”

When I went through this list the first time I easily was able to check off four patterns that apply to me. Since watching my thoughts more carefully I’ve checked off more.

Our class was given the following exercise:

For one week record your negative thoughts. You might write them down, or make check marks on paper, or put a penny in a jar for each one that you have. If you are recording your negative thoughts on paper, divide your paper into three columns. In the first column put your thoughts. In the second column identify the pattern. Lastly, re-frame the thought in the third box. This exercise is done to bring more awareness to what thoughts you are thinking and gives an opportunity to practice re-framing, if you are so inclined.

You are invited to join us, and share with me your experiences of this approach and thought patterns. Have you done something like this before? Was it beneficial? How did you change your thinking most efficiently?

Next week is part two of this topic. 🙂