Category Archives: change

Company Updates & Patreon Account

This post is just to update you to some changes.

REFERRAL GIFTS!

As of today there is a new policy in place for all my customers. If you refer a client who makes a purchase of over $50, you will receive $20 towards your next purchase at Willow’s Lavender. Yay!

TEN PERCENT

As of June 01, 2014 I began to implement what I’ve always wanted to implement: ten percent of all company proceeds are gifted back to the community in form of a donation to a charitable organization. The donations will be gifted out in $250 chunks for now.

The donations will be going to the following at this moment in time: Bridges for Women (Victoria Location), and Karma Teachers.

PATREON ACCOUNT 

To support my creative side I’ve created a Patreon Account. Much of what I perceive to be my lifes work intermingle together. Your donation to the Patreon Campaign will allow me to create video Crystal Forecasts again, start creating video Crystal Bytes for you to learn about crystals, will support me creating an online crystal course, and more!

Check out the campaign here! 

Question: Why do we incarnate into human beings in the first place?

Q: “If we have the ability to reach a metaphysical existence, why do we incarnate into human beings in the first place? This is connected to why can we light travel in the first place; is that what we’re here to do, or is it an interesting peculiarity of humans?

I’ve heard about needing to clear densities, “repent” for past lives, and other explanations before. What are your thoughts?”
A: My favourite answer to your question is a bit of a story, but it is one that I love and suits my framework quite well:

Everything was created in the Universe by the Universe. The Universe loved all of it, but because the Universe had created it all from itself it was also everything. This meant that the Universe was not able to experience itself because there was no separation from itself. Thus the Universe decided to separate a portion from itself so that it would have the ability to experience all aspects of the Universe. That act created our souls, and all souls. Our souls then began to experience the Universe, and the Universe was able to experience all there was in its creations. Our souls travelled, lived, spoke, felt. We went everywhere and we still do – we are here, we were aliens, we were in hell, and we were in heaven. We experienced alternate realities and dimensions.
Our soul is always craving the wholeness of ‘home’, always trying to get home, often forgetting that we are here to experience, to grow, to love. By accepting and allowing that process we connect more fully to our ‘home’ which is all around us. That is how we reflect our love back to the Universe. That is how we become one with it.
Each one comes into life, into Being, with a specific purpose or intent of what they would to experience in this life, of what we would like to gift to the Universe. At the same time we use our experiences to connect deeper to our own soul and to allow our soul to come out more beautifully and to facilitate that in others. By connecting to our Soul we are the Universe, we are “enlightened”, we are “ascending”, we are One. It’s a beautiful circle of perfection.Perhaps that is why we are always trying so hard to connect – our soul birth was an act of separation and therefore we feel it so deeply as a whole?

What do you think?

How do Psychics Tell the Future?

Have you ever wondered how it is possible for psychics to tell the future? Have you ever wondered how it works? How is it that a person can tell the future and it sometimes actually come true? What about all those people who claim to tell the future and it doesn’t come true?

When a client asks about the future in a reading this is what happens for me:

I feel all the various probabilities that are in existence for question. It’s very fast, and doesn’t take long because I only feel into the strongest possibilities. Those are the only ones that the client and I truly care about. It is the strongest possibility that I relate to the client. If there are several that are highly probable I tell the client all of them including with what will make each possibility happen.

Because the world we live in is energy, it is constantly shifting. The future is a finicky thing. If I knock over the salt today, maybe that’s changed everything and I simply am not aware of it.

Here’s a clip of Griffin from Men in Black 3, a character I love. He’s an awesome example of what it’s like to be a super strong conscious and aware psychic all the time. He’s always standing right on the edge of doing something because he can see all the probabilities but he doesn’t know how to act or what to do until the millisecond before the future comes true because its only then that he knows exactly which one is true.

Here’s a clip of him:

As Heraclitus infamously said: “Change is the only constant in life.”

I can only tell you possibilities, albeit the strongest possibilities.

Soul Family Q&A Part 2

More questions have come up; here are the channelled responses. 🙂

Can you have more than one soul family in different parts of the globe? 

Yes you can. You may be “adopted” into another one at a given point if your soul and another soul is willing and able to bond deep enough to create the soul family connection. This usually takes a great deal of work in the relationship with a true commitment to each other. The soul being “adopted” will be accepted once that bond is complete with one or more soul in the ‘new’ family in a positive way that benefits all involved in the process and family. IF that will not happen the soul will not join that family and will be guided away from that family when the time is best for both parties. Just because you aren’t part of a soul family you desire at this time doesn’t mean you can’t play with them.

What are the benefits of finding your soul family? 

The benefits of finding your soul family are very similar to finding your home:

  • A place that is completely safe for you. People in your family feel and are so safe for you that you can fully relax into yourself and your Being. It is from this sense of safety and relaxation that a growth spurt like no other can happen on all levels of learning for many members at once.
  • Relaxation into your Being with support from all members of your family at the soul level. All souls are in the process of learning and growth. All family members will love you, desire to protect and love you as best they can in this moment. They will support you and your choices fully as long as it is helping you become your Truth.
  • Soul families help heal each other on all levels naturally and effortlessly. There is no mistake here – not everything in a soul family is peace and harmony, as we’ve said before. There will be explosions. There must be in this current human existence the two poles of polarity until these words are out of date. Soul families expediate the growth of each other on all levels because they are all working towards the same thing in different ways. combining their skills together will bring up a powerful force of collective thinking and power. Connecting together they will change what they desire to change. The connection of their hearts is much stronger than their mind.
  • Love. A soul family has so much love and forgiveness for each member it turns unconditional naturally as the members evolve. This love sustains and feeds the members and creates a strength of connection like no other.
  • Physically, people will notice less stress, anxiety, and depression in their lives once connected firmly with several soul family members. Thoughts brighten automatically as the world takes on a different hue. The world becomes less of a place to be feared and more a place to be loved.

~ Community Happens ~

Can members of one soul family be dispersed around different parts of the globe?

Yes, very easily it can be so. It’s all decided beforehand if they desire or if it best suits their needs to travel to each other, when and where to meet, how and so on. This is not to say that all things are set. What is set is that A will meet B. If A and B don’t meet at Y there is also Z, D, W, U, R, C, L, and all other paths that will lead to A meeting B for a specific purpose. Life is fluid, all about choices, nothing is set in stone like you say for it is all always changing flow. ~The Only Constant is Change ~

What contributes to the likelihood or unlikelihood of finding ones soul family in this lifetime?

Contributes to the likelihood:

  • Personal work and growth. This when done sincerely on all levels will naturally open your heart and let your light shine, which is one of the easiest and effective ways for finding your soul family.
  • Your ‘karma’. We use karma because it is a word common to most people though it is not exactly the correct term to use. Some people are born with a path that will be ‘easier’ to find soul family. For example, some people will be born directly in their soul family and others won’t be. What determines this are a numerous list of reasons that are neither here or there at this time in this conversation. This is what we term ‘karma’ in this instance. This would be things such as what the soul incarnating desires to learn or experience, a past experience determining what the soul does, what the ‘future’ appears to be, and so on.
  • Choices. Your choices will affect everything. The more responsibility you take that is healthy and makes sense the easier you will find your soul family in this lifetime.

Decreased likelihood:

  • A closed heart. You close your heart and hide behind your masks of fear and you make it more difficult to be seen at your essence. Your essence is your light and connects you to other members.

Things that won’t affect it:

  • Your childhood. How you grew up. It’s all choices, learning and growth. It’s all up to you where you go, act, speak, and think, as much as it may seem otherwise at times. Simply love yourself.
  • Your past, as far back as it goes. You are here, in the present. See choices.

How can one tell the difference between a person who is soul family and a person carrying a major karmic debt?

Ah, that is and can be a challenge. in this case it is time to let go of the mind, attachments and all else in the relationship. It is time to be honest with your feelings and clearly state what your question is and let your heart answer. This is a time of space when this question comes up for many people.

Some more concrete signs may come by asking the following questions of yourself:

  • How do I feel when I’m around so and so?
  • When I connect to their essence how safe do I feel with them? How relaxed?
  • Do they feel like home to me?
  • Does my heart open or close around them, with their essence?
  • Are we working towards a similar vision?
  • Do we have similar hopes, dreams, desires?

Remember that soul families can be small or large with many layers and extensions  in them. You may have a large family but only feel drawn to be close to a few. That’s okay. You may also feel drawn to be close to many. That’s okay. If your family is ‘small’ you may feel drawn to connect with more than one family. That’s okay.

My New Role Model

I have a new role model. Her name is Lady Gaga.

Recently I watched a short documentary about her and to my great delight and surprise it was repeated over and over again how much work she put into her art and her life path.

For some reason I had an impression that success doesn’t take a lot of work. I had this vague idea of how it comes about easily and almost effortless very quickly once the ball gets rolling. All you need to do is be in the right place at the right time or meet the right person.

Working at my own business, Willows Lavender, has been A LOT of work. I’ve been determined and focused on the business because I’m confident that I will eventually live off of the earnings somehow. Its simply a desire I’ve had from a young age that I don’t want to work for anyone else. I want the freedom and autonomy that comes with being self-employed.

For a while I was reading about all these successful people – entrepreneurs, investors, business people, social entrepreneurs, spiritual leaders – who were offering how to’s for success. It seemed rare to come across someone who would simply say “It took a hell of a lot of work to get here. I gave up nights and days to get where I am today.” Persistence and determination came up too of course, but for some reason my mind was like “yeah, yeah, got that, what else can I do?”

Most often I read “Find something you love, and do it” with how-to steps given on starting, but not much beyond that. Logic dictates that if you find what you love, you won’t want to stop doing it so a huge part of being self-employed is solved right there.

I feel that is a misunderstanding and that ultimately self-employment, often like a spiritual path, is an undertaking that is usually extremely individual. This means that while other people’s advice and thoughts can help broaden my horizons and introduce new thoughts to contemplate it still all comes down to me and the decisions I make.

What works for me? What will work for me? For clients, whom am I going to resonate most with? How am I best going to present myself? What is my business going to evolve into as I evolve and grow? How do I want to design my life, and therefore my work experience and income? How am I going to present myself to the world?

These are all questions that are very personal and flexible. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for me so it becomes a process of trial and error or sometimes following intuitive hunches as I make my way through the business world.

Lady Gaga lives her life like its a work of art. Every action and every appearance she makes is another work of art that will end up creating a beautiful masterpiece that looks inside the pure and innocent parts of humanity as well as the gross parts.

I can’t commend or thank her enough for that inspiration of being a living example of a strong co-creator with the Universe. Our lives are a blank canvas that get painted with all of our choices. Some of us have colorful canvases and others have canvases that are shades of gray. Some of us are happy with our canvases, and some of aren’t. Sometimes we try to throw away our canvas and start anew.

The Universe is whispering to you and me that all we dream is truly possible. Our lives are a blank canvas, begin to consciously create and you will see your creations come alive through determination and a lot of hard work.

Lady Gaga’s knew what she wanted and she took all the steps she feasibly could while working hard. This gave the Universe sufficient energies to manifest exactly what she desired, and turned her into a very powerful woman. Her life is an example of the Law of Attraction manifest.

According to the documentary Lady Gaga was born and named Stefani in 1986. She began learning piano at four and showed musical talent early on. She focused on song writing and creating her persona while working hard to make a living at not so glamorous jobs, sometimes working as many as three at a time. She was broke and just making ends meet, but her life changed when she Akon heard her and signed her to his label. Her life changed quickly thereafter as her songs started climbing the charts.

This inspires me. She’s a superstar success at a young age with a philanthropist spirit who stands strong in the image that she has cultivated over the years with a lot of thought and practice. I have an entirely new view of her and much more respect since watching the documentary.

Lady Gaga posters anybody?

Who, alive today, inspires you and is your role model? Why?

 

 

 

Sleeping with Rose Quartz

I have started sleeping with a rose quartz ball that is about ten cm in diameter.

It sounds strange and uncomfortable, I know, but like many good things it just kind of happened.

You see, one of my friends gifted this beautiful piece of rose quartz to me and I placed the stone on my alter. A few days later I took out all my stones from their storage box many of the small stones asked to be placed on the alter to create a mandala of sorts. I ran out of room on the alter table for the rose quartz so I placed her in the middle of the bed with the intention to find her a suitable spot to live.

I ended up being in no hurry to move her because where she ended up on the bed was just too suitable – almost in the center of the room she ties in all of the crystal energies perfectly creating in my opinion, a near perfect crystal grid covering the room.

For past week I’ve woken up and found myself curled around this large rose quartz ball like she is a teddy bear! This subconscious action is interesting to me because for the past few weeks I’ve witnessed me blaming myself for things outside of my control, guilting myself for actions I’ve chosen to take, belittling and insulting myself, on top of all the crooked thinking patterns spoken about in the previous posts (click here and here to read them).

My mind can make my day rainbows and sunshine or a quicksand of hate and self-depreciation. It amazes me how much the mind can affect the day to day decisions that need to be made and how it colours all of my interactions with the people I meet. I wondered briefly if my state of mind could be seen so I began to watch people closer to see if I can determine their state of mind by the words that they use.

Frequently I can. It seems we reveal a lot more to the avid observer than we know or intend.

This in turn makes me reflect on my state of mind each morning before I leave the bed and the loving ball of rose quartz. I want to give the world my best, and I know now that every single interaction will reveal more about me than I am consciously aware of – I am not at the state of awareness that I can observe all levels of me and change it before it happens yet.

One would think that compliments and kind words from friends and strangers alike would lift one out of a negative state of mind but it doesn’t appear to be that way. I have come to the conclusion that it is a choice that determines which state of mind one is in. That choice is most often made outside of our awareness.

It can be hard to stay in the state of mind that one would prefer as well, simply because most human being, myself included are usually influenced by the people around us and the environments that we are in. I find it much easier, personally, to think a certain way until someone comes around that I like or respect who says something different.

My thought was a red helium balloon floating around bringing joy, laughter and smiles to all who saw it, taking me along for a ride in the sky until I allowed it to become deflated based on another persons thought.

It’s a challenge to refill a helium balloon that has a hole in it, even more so if the hole is just a pinprick causing a slow leak. Generally speaking, a popped balloon gets replaced, which is often what happens when a thought has been “deflated” – it’s been replaced with someone else’s idea or thought, not our own.

I feel that the Rose Quartz has been helping me immensely by sharing her loving energies with me each night. I no longer want to move her from my bed. She may be as hard as a rock, but she’s more energetically soft and love filled than a stuffed animal. It seems that when I am least able to give myself the self-love that I need this beautiful stone has stepped up to the plate, sharing her love every night that I need it.

This particular stone feels like a giant hug when its held and its power is strong. Rose Quartz is a stone well known for the love and healing energies that it gives off. Pink in color it works primarily with the heart chakra, and has been known to attract loving relationships into the users life. Rose Quartz is one of the more common stones, and asks that we take the time to take care of ourselves and practice staying centered in our heart. The world is full of joy and love if we are able to see and accept it and vice versa.

I’ve definitely noticed me shifting subtly from the negative mindset I was in a few weeks ago to a more positive and upbeat mindset. I’m on my way to the old me full of upbeat joy! I feel that her energies are helping me heal my heart and bring my souls love forth.

The shift I’ve noticed is not just from the Rose Quartz. I’ve been practicing gratitude and writing down what I want more moments of, and I’ve witnessed one of my friends who has been particularly inspiring to me as of late.

Throughout all of her circumstances, even in ones that, if I were her, I would’ve just been too angry to do anything but scream or cry she has taken them on with the most open-hearted joy that I have ever seen a person express. Everything has a positive to it, and she quickly finds it with laughter no matter what life has just served her.

I shared a quote with her that turned out to be one of the quotes that she has been aspiring to live for the past year or two, and is succeeding in:

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” – Buddha

Do you have a quote that inspires you? What is it? Any inspiring friend stories? What is your favorite stone/crystal to sleep with? Why?

P.S. I once slept with carnelian under my pillow, and had nightmares for all three nights he was there. I figured out later that carnelian vibrates best with the root chakra, thus it is better placed near the root when sleeping… lol. face palm.

The Merry-Go-Round of Self-Respect and Selfishness

This week was chalk full (where did that saying come from?) of stuff coming up for me. All of it I’ve looked at before and delved into it, but this time I knew it wasn’t a reminder. It was an invitation to go deeper, go through another layer, take another ride on the Merry Go Round.

The horses that I would ride on my beautiful red with gold gild carousel would be called Selfishness and Self-Respect. If I could give my love to both horses at the same time I would, however, I can only fully focus on one at a time. Thus I will do so:

Self-Respect

The class I’m in right now focuses on helping women gain employment skills and increase self-confidence and self-esteem. A common theme became evident in a classroom conversation when the teachers were out of class: All of us had met and dated men that did not respect women.

Many of us agreed that there definitely are men out there that respect women. Just how do we meet one?

I explained what we had noticed and put the following question to one of my good friends and sometimes mentor. “Why is it that we all seem to be  experiencing men who don’t respect women?”

Her response was a question: “How many of the women in your group respect themselves?”

Thinking about it, not many of us do. We are in the process of learning to respect ourselves. It shows through the significant differences that have emerged among all the women from our first day to now from the way we act, speak, and are taking care of ourselves.

On the flip side, how can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?

I began evaluating my life. How am I not respecting myself? What does it look like to respect myself? How would I define respect?

Here are some of the things that came to mind for me:

Boundaries. Trusting myself. Following my heart and my intuition. Giving myself what I need: space to contemplate and process, silence. Taking care of myself first.

What would it look like to respect myself? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I imagine I would feel empowered and strong. Guarding my boundaries would be second nature. I would know how I am feeling and how to respectfully state it. My voice would be used appropriately and be heard.

How am I not respecting myself? Boundaries are huge for me and learning what it is that I am feeling.

Its so important that to know what I am emotionally feeling. Often times I need a while to identify and process what I feel. As much as I would like to rush this process I need to allow it to flow. This will make my life easier, and when I am in relationships I will be able to better handle myself. It will become clearer to me why I am making the choices I choose.

Following my heart and intuition I feel I’m doing okay on. It is usually easier for me to follow my intuition but it gets cloudy when I don’t have the space that I need to allow my heart and intuition to speak.

Selfishness

It seems that we are programmed in Western Society to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish, and that selfishness is bad bad bad! I believe this to be a faulty thought pattern. As a healer I often hear, witness and fall victim to the thought that I must be selfless and therefore all that I possibly can to others. This is not true.

It came to my awareness last year that taking care of myself leads to me taking even better care of others. It made it okay for me to do what I need to do and not drop everything I was doing for other people. It was okay to ensure that I had a bit of time for myself each day.

I have noticed that still to this day I will allow other people to have more presence in my life than what I would personally like. For me one of the biggest acts of selfishness is taking myself away from others in time and in presence. This is also one of the healthiest things that I can do for myself.

Selfishness is a behavior that is trained out of us though that can benefit many. It allows us to clarify what we desire and want. It allows us to create and to be. It allows us to know ourselves.

Selfishness is not bad when it is not in the egotistical extreme. It is a good thing in many cases. We are living on this planet for ourselves, not for others. Yes, we may help others a long our way which is an experience that can create sensations of goodness, but ultimately our life needs to be lived for us. If we let others rule our life will we truly find happiness, contentment or joy?

Is it selfish that as a healer I will reschedule a session with a client if I do not feel that I can be fully present? A year ago I wouldn’t have, but now it is simply that I cannot give them a quality session when I am in a poor emotional, mental or physical state. This action takes care of myself and provides my client a better quality service.

As much as I have grown in this regard I still take better care of other people than I do myself.

Often I treat people in my life how I want to be treated, however I don’t treat myself nearly as well. Rarely do I spoil myself in ways that make my soul sing. It is easy for my boundaries to become mucky and my voice go unheard. Often experiences of silence that soothe my soul more than anything else disappear. Space that I require to process and contemplate I choose to relinquish because I want to spend time with others.

I love them more than I love me it seems.

Taking care of myself will automatically create self-respect and trust.

By being “selfish” I know that no matter what is happening in my life I will consistently take care of myself. Therefore I can trust that my needs are being met. Self-respect will grow.

The act of sacrificing a part of me because its “right” or because it will help someone no longer exists. I will stay whole, and I will stay me.

My horses seem to be brother and sister. Perhaps they are the beautiful chestnut horses that pull the carriage on my Merry Go Round. When I work with one the other becomes stronger, and vice versa. I love that they are so inter-related!

What do you think self-respect is? Thoughts on selfishness?

Crooked Thinking and Limiting Beliefs Part 2

Last weeks blog post became so long I had to divide it into two! This post focuses more on my learning, the reminders that I received during the workshop and some of my thoughts that occurred to me.

One of the main reminders I received in the workshop is that my choice of words is very important and do matter. A lot of re-framing reminds me of non-violent communication (NVC) because it has so much to do with the choice of words that we use when talking to ourselves. Our word choices easily spill out to our communications with other people, but if we focus on changing the words we use with others it will change how we think and vice versa.

It seems much more powerful to focus on, or at least be aware of, both at once. I’m curious if thought rehabilitation would be faster that way?

The following questions began to surface in my mind: How conscious have I been the last couple weeks? How aware have am I right now? Am I in the present moment?

And sadly, I have to say, that these last couple weeks being in the present moment and consciously aware of what I am doing have not been on the top of my priority list. I’ve felt like I’m floating around for the majority of the time. In that moment I renewed my commitment to practicing self-awareness and bringing myself back to the present moment.

Nobody can make me feel anything. The phrase “He made me mad.” is false because he didn’t make me mad. I feel mad when he does that because… Most likely the because is due to a link of an experience from the past. It is my choice to acknowledge the feelings that come up and how I deal with them.

As soon as I say “He made me mad” I’ve given my power away to him. In order for me to not give away my power to anyone else I need to take full responsibility for how I feel and thereby how I act. I never have to act angry if I choose not to act angry. Instead I can acknowledge the feeling and the underlying emotion and choose a desired option such as releasing my anger in a healthy way.

Feelings and emotions are two different things. Feelings are fleeting and can change in an instant. Emotions tend to stay with us and are much more difficult to change. I studied with a psychologist once who liked to state that all feelings come from one of four base emotions: pain, love, fear, joy.

When thinking about negative and positive thoughts, I often see that there are two parts of me. Each part is a plant. One plant is the positive and the other plant is negative. I have a choice of which one I will water and give food to. Thinking negative thoughts will help the negative plant and part of me to grow. But if I think positive thoughts, and change my negative thoughts to positive ones my positive side and plant grows strong. In the meantime the negative side withers and shrinks. The part of me that I pay most attention to will eventually take on a life of its own, making it easier to think in a particular way until its natural.

After contemplating the workshop material for a few days, I’ve come to conclude that I function under the core belief that I am flawed. Looking at myself completely honestly I have many of the thought patterns and behaviors listed.

I’ve put on my war gear and superhero cape and am proud to report that I’m slowly but surely winning the battle of minds.

The picture to the side with the saying “It is easier to build up a child than to repair a man” has been getting passed around on my Facebook. I have to agree: Repairing myself is a lot of work. It takes a lot of time, energy, awareness and constant alertness. It can be serious. A lot is at stake, as in most wars.

I like to make it playful and dramatic because it makes things so much more fun.

In my mind’s eye I put on my fighting gear, which changes according to the activity and my mood . Then I see my weapons – skills, life experience, tools – being brandished and I get ready for battle. I sit down in lotus pose even when I’m in a black latex suit with cats ears on my head like  Cat Woman. Perhaps I’ll be Storm another day. Or maybe a ninja. Sometimes I’m just me.

I’m waiting to catch the thought, waiting for the moment to come where I can best act…

And when that moment comes I pounce on it! I use all the skills, tools and life experience I’ve accumulated to counteract the thought.

Often I miss the thought, that sweet moment when I know I’ve changed this one. The times that I catch them are quickly increasing in frequency, and my superhero self is getting much more skilled. Slowly I am learning the ways that thought patterns like to disguise themselves.

For me, changing my thoughts changes my life. Changing a thought can easily and effortlessly change my entire world; it can create a new world. It can bring things into my life, help me expand what I see and experience, and create more knowing and wisdom. It allows me to know my soul a bit more and allow my Highest Service to come through.

I believe that complete and true freedom comes from ones thoughts. It comes when we no longer have anyone else’s programming (intended or not) running through us even at the subconscious level. It comes when we are able to have all areas in our lives run congruent, in time with each other, in full alignment with all of ourselves.

All of us can attain this freedom, and that we all can change the thoughts that we have if we choose to do so. Yes, it is hard work that ceaselessly needs to be done, but the layers and thoughts do change. That’s how you know you’ve graduated from one grade to the next.

How many grades are there?

I don’t know.

That is why I believe this workshop is so important. What do you think? Thoughts? Do you have moments that you see yourself as a superhero? When? What is complete and true freedom to you?

 

Crooked Thinking and Limiting Beliefs

Last weeks blog post gave you an example of what I would like to discuss today – re-framing crooked thinking and limiting beliefs. Recently at Bridges we took a workshop called “Changing Limiting Belief Systems.” It was a highly valuable class where I learned a lot and received reminders of what I’ve been working on. I would like to share some of of the workshop with you, my lovely readers. Perhaps you will find the knowledge and technique as helpful as I did.

This approach is called cognitive restructuring from my understanding of cognitive therapy. Though a very left-brain approach this technique seems very useful and follows how most people naturally think. Many of us in class discovered we were already doing this work to various degrees. Now we were just getting the vocabulary and a greater understanding of what exactly we were doing. This workshop, and article will, focus on re-framing our thoughts and creating choices for how we respond to situations and people in our lives.

Re-framing is the art of turning something around, in this case a negative thought to a postive thought. This requires acknowledging the feelings surrounding the thought and making a choice on how to proceed. Let’s talk about core beliefs for a moment.

Core beliefs are thoughts that are so strong they seem to be a apart of us and govern us. For many people, but not all, these thoughts are subconscious. They can be brought to conscious awareness and changed with awareness and mindfulness.

Negative core beliefs can cause distorted thinking/crooked thinking which doesn’t serve our Highest Good. For example, having the core belief that I am flawed in some way might lead to me having avoidance behaviours, perfectionism, or being inauthentic.

Positive core beliefs help us a long our path and serve our Highest good. They bring about healthy boundaries, and positive behaviors that protect us as well as authenticity and true unshakeable confidence that comes from inside ourselves.

Reframing involves four steps.

  1. Recognize. Notice the thought and ask yourself, “Is this serving me? Is it positive or negative?” If it is negative, “Do I want to work with this thought right now and reframe it? Where does this thought come from? When did it start? Why am I thinking this?” And my favorite: “What is my motive?”
  2. Acknowledge. Notice and say hi to the feelings that are coming up with the thought. You can’t deny them; they are there and real, and will come back to haunt you if you try denial. Seriously. They will. What are your feelings telling you?
  3. Stop or Disrupt the thought. The beautiful thing about our minds is that we can only think one thought at a time. I know that sometimes it feels like we are thinking a millions things at once: our brain is going so fast, a thousand miles a second, that we must be thinking a million things at once. Not true.
  4. Replace the thought with a new thought. If you don’t do this last and final step you will have a hole left where the old thought was inside your thinking patterns. That means the old thought can easily come back, so simply replace it with a positive thought and a positive way of thinking.

One of the most useful things I received in the workshop is a list of ten common patterns of distorted or crooked thinking.

All-or-Nothing (Black & White Thinking) – Switching from one extreme to another. Eg. “One mistake ruined the whole thing.”

Overgenerallization – Assuming that because something happened once it will always happen. Eg. “I always blow it at the last minute.” or “You always forget to do the things I ask.”

Mental Filter (Dwelling on the Negative) – Dwell on the negatives and ignore the postives. Eg. “I got it right this time but I had to try three times before I finally got it right.”

Discounting the Postivies – Insisting that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. Eg. “I was just lucky.”

Jumping to Conclusions – Part A is Mind Reading. Belieivng that you know what other people are thinking. Eg. “They all thought I was stupid.” Part B is Fortune Telling. Arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out badly. Eg. “Everything is bound to go wrong.”

Magnification or Minimization – Either blowing things way up out of porportion or shrinking their importance inappropriately. Eg. “I’ll never get over it.”

Emotional Reasoning – Mistaking feeling for facts. Eg. “I’m so worried; I just know soemthing is going to go wrong.”

Should statements – Criticizeing yourself or others with shoulds, shouldn’ts, musts, oughts and have tos.

Labelling (Name Calling) – Idenfiying with your shortcomings or mistakes. Eg. “I’m and idiot.” or “Anybody who could do that must be brain dead.”

Personalization and Blame – Blaming yourself for soemthing that was not your responsibility. “Its all my fault” or “If only I’d done more.”

When I went through this list the first time I easily was able to check off four patterns that apply to me. Since watching my thoughts more carefully I’ve checked off more.

Our class was given the following exercise:

For one week record your negative thoughts. You might write them down, or make check marks on paper, or put a penny in a jar for each one that you have. If you are recording your negative thoughts on paper, divide your paper into three columns. In the first column put your thoughts. In the second column identify the pattern. Lastly, re-frame the thought in the third box. This exercise is done to bring more awareness to what thoughts you are thinking and gives an opportunity to practice re-framing, if you are so inclined.

You are invited to join us, and share with me your experiences of this approach and thought patterns. Have you done something like this before? Was it beneficial? How did you change your thinking most efficiently?

Next week is part two of this topic. 🙂

Purity of Thought

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about purity of thought and the power behind it. So voila! Here are some thoughts I’ve been working on for a little while. Enjoy!

Many great teachers have mentioned and taught many times over that purity of thought is a huge component in manifesting ascension for ourselves. They all teach different ways that can help one to achieve the level of purity that is required: thinking positive thoughts, replacing all thoughts with positive ones, mantras, meditation practices, prayer, breathing to mention a few common techniques.

What is purity of thought?

I believe it is the emotional and mental state (thereby physical and spiritual states too) where we are ourselves, one hundred percent pure. In this state we have no fear, sadness, pain, happiness or joy. It is not to say that we do not experience emotion, but rather our emotions do not control us. They don’t bring us into the past or into the future. We are in the moment as each moment happens.

In this state we have no pre-programmed beliefs or systems running through us at all. Other people’s ideas and thoughts from our parents to our society’s no longer exist within us, and we have nothing to truly “process” or “figure out”. It all is, and we are able to see and know in the fullest sense of Truth. We have entered the No-Mind of Zen and Nirvana of Buddhism.

It is also when we are in this completely pure state that our subconscious is in total alignment with our consciousness, and that means we step into full consciousness, full awareness of our power. That is when we have one hundred percent control of our body and we can heal any part of ourselves effortlessly. It is when we are able to reprogram our minds, bodies, and spirit in an instant because we are no longer a slave to the mind or the emotional body. This is sometimes called the state of the Ascended Masters and other enlightened beings.

I believe it is our true state, and we’ve simply forgotten what our true state is. Aka. YES! I’M A SUPERHERO IN DISGUISE!!! 😀

And so are you.

How do we attain purity of thought?

This process is going to be different for each person because we are all unique individuals with so many variables affecting each of us.

Because we are all so unique no one says that you need to be a new age spiritual junkie to attain purity of thought. I personally believe that many people who work close with nature like a survivalist, and all of the people we have seen YouTube videos about as they play with ‘wild animals’ such as lions or crocodiles have somehow attained a purity of thought that is rare in our current society. Perhaps you can attain it with food?

For me, right now it will come through my practices that are largely a mix-mash of many different traditions and the focus of this particular article is written with that focus and influence.

And I believe all of the ways that the great spiritual teachers teach us are all equally valid. Perhaps one of the best ways of reaching purity of thought is using each practice, or devising our own, as it fits most naturally in our lives.

If we were to do all of the most common spiritual practices our life might look something like:

  • Wake up
  • Meditate in whichever form you are inspired to (minimum 1 hour)
  • Yoga
  • Visit nature to maintain a strong connection to the planet (and its grounding)
  • Pray
  • Practice gratitude
  • Constant watching of thought and reprogramming thought patterns as much as possible (tireless work)

When do you actually go to work?

Purity of Thought in Practice

It seems like a lot, and it is. It gets easier for all of us as more people do the work to create larger paths for others to follow. It also gets easier with practice because it turns into a lifestyle that naturally benefits you. I know from my personal experience that tenacious dedication to my spiritual practices at first were essential in turning spirituality into a natural lifestyle. Even though there was a lot of work involved I noticed a general improvement over my entire well-being and flow to my life.

I’ve also noticed that many practices have become so well ingrained with my life after years of practice that I am no longer able to separate the spiritual part of myself from the rest of me. It would take conscious effort on my part to stop doing spiritual practices because I have such a strong habit of praying when I’m walking, practicing mindfulness whenever I remember, and watching my thoughts.

I am still far from perfect though and often  I resist flowing into a more dedicated practice in my life. I say, “I’m too busy” to meditated everyday. That is an excuse, I know. Often when I experience resistance to my practice and so slowly I let it decline into something (for me) that’s non-existent. This resistance comes most often from fear. This was the fear that Marianne Williamson so famously speaks about in the following words:

“it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Any practice, spiritual or not, that brings us closer to our true selves, our Divinity, helps our light shine brighter and our power to grow.

Results of Purity of Thought

In our society purity of thought separates us from the norm, our light and power separates us from everyone else. (Spiderman anyone? Batman? Cat Woman? X-Men? Maybe they aren’t all light, but they definitely have power and they are definitely separate from the norm…)

The stronger our light shines, the greater the degree of difference we feel from more people. We no longer resonate with them. We are there to help and share our wisdom and talents but the actual amount of people that we can be true friends or lovers with gets smaller and smaller and smaller the purer our thought becomes. Unless we show everyone how easy it is to be a superhero! 😛

To have purity of thought defines you as someone different from everyone else. Purity of thought brings forth the impossible into everyday lives, and when it is strong, can show what is actually possible as a human being. People who pursue this purity will learn that their lives are very different from the norm, and it will in a sense alienate them from the majority. But they will be the most courageous, brilliant, ingenious, beautiful and radiant human beings we will ever see and know.

 My Conclusion

Therefore, I accept the challenge to manifest purity of thought in my own mind. Because I’m done being scared of who I truly am. Because I am going to take control and take responsibility for everything in my life so that I can create exactly what I desire in my life. So each day I will learn my lessons as best I can, and learn more about how I can shine, practicing releasing all that holds me back. Because I really love the thought that I’M A SUPERHERO!

What do you say? Will you join me in uncovering your inner superhero? Perhaps your path is not one of meditation. What path do you choose, and what path works for you?

I’m excited to hear about your adventures! 🙂

P.S.

This article turned out to be five-page long essay, so this blog post is a much shortened version of that. 🙂