Tag Archives: feelings

When Your Angry Grab These Crystals!

Crystals to Help You Work with Anger

Anger is a complicated emotion in my experience. For a long time I really feared it, and I still do fear anger in others. My first desire when I experience anger in myself or others is to run for the hills until the storm passes. But that is not the best way to deal with anger. It must be experienced and respected for what it is. It is like any other emotion that comes and goes but for some reason is less accepted than other strong emotions humans experience in our day to day lives – happiness, sadness, depression, judgement.

This leaves many of us in an odd position of having anger and not knowing how to experience, release or express it in a healthy and positive way. Instead, many of us will bottle down the anger to explode at a later date. Or we will hide it carefully, deeply within us, carefully placing layers and layers on top of the feelings. Then there are those that let the anger flow right through them terrifying the rest of us!

carnelian3

Working with Fire

I have used one of the most fiery stones to help me understand and experience anger in a positive way: Carnelian. Carnelian is a deep, passionate, strong stone that will bring your anger to the forefront so that you can experience it. It moves your anger so you can see it and know yourself at a deeper level. Carnelian and I worked together closely for my journey of releasing and learning about the anger I experience in my life. It gave me a courage I didn’t feel that I had, and soothed my fears around experiencing this emotion. It let me go deep and know that I wasn’t going to get lost in it.

Overwhelming Feelings

I remember when I was working through the deeply bottled anger I had collected throughout my life. I suddenly was experiencing bursts that would go through my whole body. My adrenaline would be activated, heat waves and tremors would shake my body, I could get so lost in how it felt that I could not speak it was such an overwhelming experience for me. And it often would come out of nowhere at the most random of times. Once I got used to it – I felt like a fireball for a few months becoming randomly angry at the smallest things – I learned how to experience anger with wisdom.

By this I mean I learned how to utilize it for what anger is good for – standing up for yourself. Making sure you and another person know when something has gone too far. Giving you strength and courage to stand up for what is right for not just yourself but others. I knew I had learned this when I got into a fight with an ex boyfriend of mine. We were having an argument on the phone when he said something that just made me furious. Beyond furious. I didn’t say a word. I hung up on him and hopped on my bike. He lived a ten minute bike ride away and I arrived still boiling. He had tried calling several times and I ignored all of them.

Sugilite-Tumbled-Stones-29-TPS

Transmuting the Anger

Sugilite and Amethyst were other major minerals I used to help me in my process. Both of these crystals are noted as transmuters. What’s interesting is that Amethyst is resonant to and carries the Violet Flame of St. Germain. This is a major purifier of old and new energies that no longer serve us. It releases patterns we no longer need to keep replaying. Amethyst will help us find new ways of experiencing things and help establish new patterns within our life.

Sugilite is noted as a mineral that works directly with transmuting rage and anger. It is also noted, and I used it for this aspect, to work with the inner child. It gives an ease of access to the inner child and there were often times when my journey working specifically with anger that I would feel my inner child, and witness my inner child either screaming with rage or running away as fast as she could. My work with this mineral allowed me to tap into this aspect of self and even have conversations with her. It helped me to find healthy ways to shift my anger into something beautiful like artwork or writing.

Powerfully Using Anger

I very intentionally went up the stairs to his door, and knocked. He opened the door and didn’t know what to do. I stepped in, looked at him straight in the eyes, and said in a very low voice trembling with the anger I felt towards him, “If you ever say anything like that again to me, you will never see me again. You will never be allowed to speak with me. You will never know that I was in your life.”. Instead of running away from anger – both mine and his – I had gone directly into it. I had faced and experienced both mine and his.

Howilite

Eliminating Anger

Howlite is an amazing mineral that works to eliminate anger and rate. How does it do this? In my experience it is a purifier which is a little bit different than a transmuter. When you are wearing Howlite it is automatically “taking” it away from you very much like an air purifier. Howlite helps you to act in alignment with your highest self no matter what is going on around or inside of you. It able to help you keep clear sight and keep your centre and base your decisions on what is best for all involved.

Graduation

Ever since then I’ve been able to experience my anger and the anger of others with less fear. I still go on my tip-toes but I can stand it. Sometimes I feel like I am a wooden post withstanding the torrents of the ocean and rain. And it feels like a good thing.

In my experience of my own anger, a lot of it had to do with traumas I’ve experienced in life and with self-forgiveness. Along with carnelian, rose quartz was a constant companion. In fact I slept with a large rose quartz ball for almost two years! Rose quartz was very important to my journey because it is a crystal that helps to forgive oneself and others. It opens up the door to fall in love with yourself. It helps you come into your own love for life. And to release anything that gets in the way because you don’t need it!

Anger will tie up and block the heart chakra. Rose quartz will unknot it and take down the walls slowly and gently. You don’t need it. All we need is love.

Meditation Suggestions

Meditate with Carnelian, Howlite or Blue Kyanite. Blue Kyanite is often used to clear blockages inside the energetic system and can be used on any chakras though it is mostly resonant with the throat and heart in my experience. You can meditate with each stone individually by just holding it in your left hand if you wish, or you can meditate with all three stones. I am wary of all three stones because it feels like a very potent and powerful combination – the only “cooling” stone in the mix is Howlite. To meditate with all three place the stones in a grid around you or on you in key spots – put one mineral on your heart and hold the other two, etc.

To meditate with Sugilite and the only child I suggest you find somewhere comfortable. Tune into the crystal by focusing on how it feels wherever your holding it. Does it pulsate? Is it cold? Does it buzz? Then ask the mineral to help you speak with your inner child. Imagine yourself taking 21 steps towards your inner child. When you arrive on the 21st step imagine her/him waiting for you. Take note of the surroundings your inner child has put him/her in and approach him/her. At this point you can have a conversation with your inner child and when you wish to leave you can take the 21 steps “out” and come back to your body.

If you do a laying of hands crystal session on yourself or another you may wish to place blue kyanite on the heart/solar plexus, rose quartz on the heart, Larimar on the throat, moss agate on your root. Moss agate and Larimar are calming agents. They slowly clean and clear and connect you deeply to nature. They help to gently heal traumas and hurting hearts.

Managing Your Cords | Energetic Cord Management

cut-energy-cordsIf you read last weeks post, you were introduced to cords in a really great way. If you haven’t read it, read it first and then come back here because I don’t want to repeat myself! 🙂

Signs You Need to Clear Your Cords

Sometimes we have too many cords surrounding our energy bodies. Or sometimes we have one really big cord that drains us. Sometimes we are (unconsciously) draining others. Here are some signs that it might be a good idea for you to clear your cords:

  • You are constantly feeling fatigued no matter what you do
  • You are in relationships that take a lot of energy – you feel drained after encounters with certain people
  • You are obsessive about a person
  • You cannot stop thinking about a person no matter how hard you try
  • You find it a challenge to attract new people into your life on a consistent basis
  • You can’t seem to let go or get over someone (or an experience with someone)
  • You are overly influenced by another person

Chances are you need to cut your cords if:

  • You have recently experienced a painful break-up
  • You are in one or more unhealthy relationships you would like to shift

Benefits of Cutting/Clearing Your Cords

Cutting or clearing your cords are not the same thing as removing people from your life. You may feel you need to do that after you clear your cords in or order to remain a healthy person yourself. The cutting and clearing of cords can have some potent benefits:

  • You gain more clarity, insight, and awareness on the relationship
  • You become more objective in the relationship
  • If you have given away your power you take it back
  • And vice versa, if you have taken anyone’s power you give it back
  • You have the opportunity to become more yourself because other people aren’t tying up your energy
  • You have more energy
  • You will feel lighter
  • You will be less obsessive and focus more on your own stuff instead of others stuff.
  • It will be easier to release unwanted relationships
  • You will feel more yourself afterwards

How to Cut or Clear Your Cords

Most New Age Websites you will go to will talk about cutting your cords. I also talk about clearing your cords. There is a subtle difference between the two. I experience it like this: You cut your cords for those people that you no longer desire an energy exchange with. You clear your cords for those are in your life in an unhealthy way to create balance and a healthy way of being.

All relationships take work, and this to me, is an important aspect of being in relationship with another. Just as much as we need to take care the mental, emotional and physical aspects, we need to take care of the energetic aspects of our relationships.

Its really easy to clear or cut your cords. There are two ways I have used. Try it out before you give up – these are surprisingly easy and effective methods!

cord_cutting_ropeFirst Process – Clearing General Cords

1. Relax your body and your mind. Take a few moments to get comfortable and pay attention to your breath.
2. Scan your body to see where there is tension and pain. Where is it relaxed? Mentally take note.
3. Call in any Guides/Spirits/Beings you work with if you work with any. If you don’t work with any skip to the next step.
4. Set the intention that you are going to cut and clear your cords.
5. Ask to see (even if you didn’t call anyone in, ask yourself/subconscious/intuition to see) your cords.
6. Take a moment to feel and experience your body and its cords. See it, feel it, know it. Whatever your sensory perception is, it is true for you.
7. Ask that the cords that aren’t serving yourself or others in unconditional love are cleared and released (use any wording here that feels good for you). See/feel/know them falling away. Let them fall away.
8. Continue step 7 until you feel that all you can do for the moment is complete.
9. Thank yourself and any Beings you may have called in for their loving support.
10. Come back from the meditation gently and slowly.

Second Process – Cutting Cords With Intention

Steps 1 to 5 are the same as the first process.

1. Relax your body and your mind. Take a few moments to get comfortable and pay attention to your breath.
2. Scan your body to see where there is tension and pain. Where is it relaxed? Mentally take note.
3. Call in any Guides/Spirits/Beings you work with if you work with any. If you don’t work with any skip to the next step.
4. Set the intention that you are going to cut the cord to a specific individual.
5. Ask to see (even if you didn’t call anyone in, ask yourself/subconscious/intuition to see) the cord that connects you.
6. Take a moment to feel and experience your body the cord. See it, feel it, know it. Whatever your sensory perception is, it is true for you. What is going on with that cord? How is the energy flowing?
7. Visualize scissors or another sharp item and see it cut the cord. You may have to try several times, you may have to visualize light burning through it, softening it. Do what you need to do to cut that cord.
8. When the cord is complete put the cord connected to you back inside of you, and return the other part of the cord to the individual.
9. Make sure you give back the cord in the previous step before moving forward. This step ensures that the cords are permanently cut. Unless you choose to create the cord again.
10. Thank yourself and any Beings you may have called in for their loving support.
11. Come back from the meditation gently and slowly.

If you are having trouble with the process and would like help please email me.

Remember that the person you cut the cords to will feel it in the subtle realms. The more sensitive they are the more they will consciously feel it and react. Most people in my experience don’t really react, however, I have had a sensitive ex-boyfriend who definitely felt it. Afterwards there was a long redefinition of our relationship and how we relate to each other.

I cleared my cords with him particularly and cut the cords several times over in various ways. The more Will you bring to the practise the stronger it is. Each time brought further clarification for me about the different dynamics and unconscious patterns within the relationship.

Use these tools as often as you feel you need to. With practice it gets easier, and you will change the practices to match the way you perceive and work with energy. This is an invaluable skill in your journey of Energy Management.

Crooked Thinking and Limiting Beliefs

Last weeks blog post gave you an example of what I would like to discuss today – re-framing crooked thinking and limiting beliefs. Recently at Bridges we took a workshop called “Changing Limiting Belief Systems.” It was a highly valuable class where I learned a lot and received reminders of what I’ve been working on. I would like to share some of of the workshop with you, my lovely readers. Perhaps you will find the knowledge and technique as helpful as I did.

This approach is called cognitive restructuring from my understanding of cognitive therapy. Though a very left-brain approach this technique seems very useful and follows how most people naturally think. Many of us in class discovered we were already doing this work to various degrees. Now we were just getting the vocabulary and a greater understanding of what exactly we were doing. This workshop, and article will, focus on re-framing our thoughts and creating choices for how we respond to situations and people in our lives.

Re-framing is the art of turning something around, in this case a negative thought to a postive thought. This requires acknowledging the feelings surrounding the thought and making a choice on how to proceed. Let’s talk about core beliefs for a moment.

Core beliefs are thoughts that are so strong they seem to be a apart of us and govern us. For many people, but not all, these thoughts are subconscious. They can be brought to conscious awareness and changed with awareness and mindfulness.

Negative core beliefs can cause distorted thinking/crooked thinking which doesn’t serve our Highest Good. For example, having the core belief that I am flawed in some way might lead to me having avoidance behaviours, perfectionism, or being inauthentic.

Positive core beliefs help us a long our path and serve our Highest good. They bring about healthy boundaries, and positive behaviors that protect us as well as authenticity and true unshakeable confidence that comes from inside ourselves.

Reframing involves four steps.

  1. Recognize. Notice the thought and ask yourself, “Is this serving me? Is it positive or negative?” If it is negative, “Do I want to work with this thought right now and reframe it? Where does this thought come from? When did it start? Why am I thinking this?” And my favorite: “What is my motive?”
  2. Acknowledge. Notice and say hi to the feelings that are coming up with the thought. You can’t deny them; they are there and real, and will come back to haunt you if you try denial. Seriously. They will. What are your feelings telling you?
  3. Stop or Disrupt the thought. The beautiful thing about our minds is that we can only think one thought at a time. I know that sometimes it feels like we are thinking a millions things at once: our brain is going so fast, a thousand miles a second, that we must be thinking a million things at once. Not true.
  4. Replace the thought with a new thought. If you don’t do this last and final step you will have a hole left where the old thought was inside your thinking patterns. That means the old thought can easily come back, so simply replace it with a positive thought and a positive way of thinking.

One of the most useful things I received in the workshop is a list of ten common patterns of distorted or crooked thinking.

All-or-Nothing (Black & White Thinking) – Switching from one extreme to another. Eg. “One mistake ruined the whole thing.”

Overgenerallization – Assuming that because something happened once it will always happen. Eg. “I always blow it at the last minute.” or “You always forget to do the things I ask.”

Mental Filter (Dwelling on the Negative) – Dwell on the negatives and ignore the postives. Eg. “I got it right this time but I had to try three times before I finally got it right.”

Discounting the Postivies – Insisting that your accomplishments or positive qualities don’t count. Eg. “I was just lucky.”

Jumping to Conclusions – Part A is Mind Reading. Belieivng that you know what other people are thinking. Eg. “They all thought I was stupid.” Part B is Fortune Telling. Arbitrarily predicting that things will turn out badly. Eg. “Everything is bound to go wrong.”

Magnification or Minimization – Either blowing things way up out of porportion or shrinking their importance inappropriately. Eg. “I’ll never get over it.”

Emotional Reasoning – Mistaking feeling for facts. Eg. “I’m so worried; I just know soemthing is going to go wrong.”

Should statements – Criticizeing yourself or others with shoulds, shouldn’ts, musts, oughts and have tos.

Labelling (Name Calling) – Idenfiying with your shortcomings or mistakes. Eg. “I’m and idiot.” or “Anybody who could do that must be brain dead.”

Personalization and Blame – Blaming yourself for soemthing that was not your responsibility. “Its all my fault” or “If only I’d done more.”

When I went through this list the first time I easily was able to check off four patterns that apply to me. Since watching my thoughts more carefully I’ve checked off more.

Our class was given the following exercise:

For one week record your negative thoughts. You might write them down, or make check marks on paper, or put a penny in a jar for each one that you have. If you are recording your negative thoughts on paper, divide your paper into three columns. In the first column put your thoughts. In the second column identify the pattern. Lastly, re-frame the thought in the third box. This exercise is done to bring more awareness to what thoughts you are thinking and gives an opportunity to practice re-framing, if you are so inclined.

You are invited to join us, and share with me your experiences of this approach and thought patterns. Have you done something like this before? Was it beneficial? How did you change your thinking most efficiently?

Next week is part two of this topic. 🙂