Tag Archives: relationships

Managing Your Cords | Energetic Cord Management

cut-energy-cordsIf you read last weeks post, you were introduced to cords in a really great way. If you haven’t read it, read it first and then come back here because I don’t want to repeat myself! 🙂

Signs You Need to Clear Your Cords

Sometimes we have too many cords surrounding our energy bodies. Or sometimes we have one really big cord that drains us. Sometimes we are (unconsciously) draining others. Here are some signs that it might be a good idea for you to clear your cords:

  • You are constantly feeling fatigued no matter what you do
  • You are in relationships that take a lot of energy – you feel drained after encounters with certain people
  • You are obsessive about a person
  • You cannot stop thinking about a person no matter how hard you try
  • You find it a challenge to attract new people into your life on a consistent basis
  • You can’t seem to let go or get over someone (or an experience with someone)
  • You are overly influenced by another person

Chances are you need to cut your cords if:

  • You have recently experienced a painful break-up
  • You are in one or more unhealthy relationships you would like to shift

Benefits of Cutting/Clearing Your Cords

Cutting or clearing your cords are not the same thing as removing people from your life. You may feel you need to do that after you clear your cords in or order to remain a healthy person yourself. The cutting and clearing of cords can have some potent benefits:

  • You gain more clarity, insight, and awareness on the relationship
  • You become more objective in the relationship
  • If you have given away your power you take it back
  • And vice versa, if you have taken anyone’s power you give it back
  • You have the opportunity to become more yourself because other people aren’t tying up your energy
  • You have more energy
  • You will feel lighter
  • You will be less obsessive and focus more on your own stuff instead of others stuff.
  • It will be easier to release unwanted relationships
  • You will feel more yourself afterwards

How to Cut or Clear Your Cords

Most New Age Websites you will go to will talk about cutting your cords. I also talk about clearing your cords. There is a subtle difference between the two. I experience it like this: You cut your cords for those people that you no longer desire an energy exchange with. You clear your cords for those are in your life in an unhealthy way to create balance and a healthy way of being.

All relationships take work, and this to me, is an important aspect of being in relationship with another. Just as much as we need to take care the mental, emotional and physical aspects, we need to take care of the energetic aspects of our relationships.

Its really easy to clear or cut your cords. There are two ways I have used. Try it out before you give up – these are surprisingly easy and effective methods!

cord_cutting_ropeFirst Process – Clearing General Cords

1. Relax your body and your mind. Take a few moments to get comfortable and pay attention to your breath.
2. Scan your body to see where there is tension and pain. Where is it relaxed? Mentally take note.
3. Call in any Guides/Spirits/Beings you work with if you work with any. If you don’t work with any skip to the next step.
4. Set the intention that you are going to cut and clear your cords.
5. Ask to see (even if you didn’t call anyone in, ask yourself/subconscious/intuition to see) your cords.
6. Take a moment to feel and experience your body and its cords. See it, feel it, know it. Whatever your sensory perception is, it is true for you.
7. Ask that the cords that aren’t serving yourself or others in unconditional love are cleared and released (use any wording here that feels good for you). See/feel/know them falling away. Let them fall away.
8. Continue step 7 until you feel that all you can do for the moment is complete.
9. Thank yourself and any Beings you may have called in for their loving support.
10. Come back from the meditation gently and slowly.

Second Process – Cutting Cords With Intention

Steps 1 to 5 are the same as the first process.

1. Relax your body and your mind. Take a few moments to get comfortable and pay attention to your breath.
2. Scan your body to see where there is tension and pain. Where is it relaxed? Mentally take note.
3. Call in any Guides/Spirits/Beings you work with if you work with any. If you don’t work with any skip to the next step.
4. Set the intention that you are going to cut the cord to a specific individual.
5. Ask to see (even if you didn’t call anyone in, ask yourself/subconscious/intuition to see) the cord that connects you.
6. Take a moment to feel and experience your body the cord. See it, feel it, know it. Whatever your sensory perception is, it is true for you. What is going on with that cord? How is the energy flowing?
7. Visualize scissors or another sharp item and see it cut the cord. You may have to try several times, you may have to visualize light burning through it, softening it. Do what you need to do to cut that cord.
8. When the cord is complete put the cord connected to you back inside of you, and return the other part of the cord to the individual.
9. Make sure you give back the cord in the previous step before moving forward. This step ensures that the cords are permanently cut. Unless you choose to create the cord again.
10. Thank yourself and any Beings you may have called in for their loving support.
11. Come back from the meditation gently and slowly.

If you are having trouble with the process and would like help please email me.

Remember that the person you cut the cords to will feel it in the subtle realms. The more sensitive they are the more they will consciously feel it and react. Most people in my experience don’t really react, however, I have had a sensitive ex-boyfriend who definitely felt it. Afterwards there was a long redefinition of our relationship and how we relate to each other.

I cleared my cords with him particularly and cut the cords several times over in various ways. The more Will you bring to the practise the stronger it is. Each time brought further clarification for me about the different dynamics and unconscious patterns within the relationship.

Use these tools as often as you feel you need to. With practice it gets easier, and you will change the practices to match the way you perceive and work with energy. This is an invaluable skill in your journey of Energy Management.

The Merry-Go-Round of Self-Respect and Selfishness

This week was chalk full (where did that saying come from?) of stuff coming up for me. All of it I’ve looked at before and delved into it, but this time I knew it wasn’t a reminder. It was an invitation to go deeper, go through another layer, take another ride on the Merry Go Round.

The horses that I would ride on my beautiful red with gold gild carousel would be called Selfishness and Self-Respect. If I could give my love to both horses at the same time I would, however, I can only fully focus on one at a time. Thus I will do so:

Self-Respect

The class I’m in right now focuses on helping women gain employment skills and increase self-confidence and self-esteem. A common theme became evident in a classroom conversation when the teachers were out of class: All of us had met and dated men that did not respect women.

Many of us agreed that there definitely are men out there that respect women. Just how do we meet one?

I explained what we had noticed and put the following question to one of my good friends and sometimes mentor. “Why is it that we all seem to be  experiencing men who don’t respect women?”

Her response was a question: “How many of the women in your group respect themselves?”

Thinking about it, not many of us do. We are in the process of learning to respect ourselves. It shows through the significant differences that have emerged among all the women from our first day to now from the way we act, speak, and are taking care of ourselves.

On the flip side, how can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?

I began evaluating my life. How am I not respecting myself? What does it look like to respect myself? How would I define respect?

Here are some of the things that came to mind for me:

Boundaries. Trusting myself. Following my heart and my intuition. Giving myself what I need: space to contemplate and process, silence. Taking care of myself first.

What would it look like to respect myself? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I imagine I would feel empowered and strong. Guarding my boundaries would be second nature. I would know how I am feeling and how to respectfully state it. My voice would be used appropriately and be heard.

How am I not respecting myself? Boundaries are huge for me and learning what it is that I am feeling.

Its so important that to know what I am emotionally feeling. Often times I need a while to identify and process what I feel. As much as I would like to rush this process I need to allow it to flow. This will make my life easier, and when I am in relationships I will be able to better handle myself. It will become clearer to me why I am making the choices I choose.

Following my heart and intuition I feel I’m doing okay on. It is usually easier for me to follow my intuition but it gets cloudy when I don’t have the space that I need to allow my heart and intuition to speak.

Selfishness

It seems that we are programmed in Western Society to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish, and that selfishness is bad bad bad! I believe this to be a faulty thought pattern. As a healer I often hear, witness and fall victim to the thought that I must be selfless and therefore all that I possibly can to others. This is not true.

It came to my awareness last year that taking care of myself leads to me taking even better care of others. It made it okay for me to do what I need to do and not drop everything I was doing for other people. It was okay to ensure that I had a bit of time for myself each day.

I have noticed that still to this day I will allow other people to have more presence in my life than what I would personally like. For me one of the biggest acts of selfishness is taking myself away from others in time and in presence. This is also one of the healthiest things that I can do for myself.

Selfishness is a behavior that is trained out of us though that can benefit many. It allows us to clarify what we desire and want. It allows us to create and to be. It allows us to know ourselves.

Selfishness is not bad when it is not in the egotistical extreme. It is a good thing in many cases. We are living on this planet for ourselves, not for others. Yes, we may help others a long our way which is an experience that can create sensations of goodness, but ultimately our life needs to be lived for us. If we let others rule our life will we truly find happiness, contentment or joy?

Is it selfish that as a healer I will reschedule a session with a client if I do not feel that I can be fully present? A year ago I wouldn’t have, but now it is simply that I cannot give them a quality session when I am in a poor emotional, mental or physical state. This action takes care of myself and provides my client a better quality service.

As much as I have grown in this regard I still take better care of other people than I do myself.

Often I treat people in my life how I want to be treated, however I don’t treat myself nearly as well. Rarely do I spoil myself in ways that make my soul sing. It is easy for my boundaries to become mucky and my voice go unheard. Often experiences of silence that soothe my soul more than anything else disappear. Space that I require to process and contemplate I choose to relinquish because I want to spend time with others.

I love them more than I love me it seems.

Taking care of myself will automatically create self-respect and trust.

By being “selfish” I know that no matter what is happening in my life I will consistently take care of myself. Therefore I can trust that my needs are being met. Self-respect will grow.

The act of sacrificing a part of me because its “right” or because it will help someone no longer exists. I will stay whole, and I will stay me.

My horses seem to be brother and sister. Perhaps they are the beautiful chestnut horses that pull the carriage on my Merry Go Round. When I work with one the other becomes stronger, and vice versa. I love that they are so inter-related!

What do you think self-respect is? Thoughts on selfishness?