Category Archives: living

Find Your Magic!

Last Thursday I brought some magic in the world. It was unplanned and completely accidental on my part, but I discovered a way to bring joy into the world in an unexpected manner.

The story begins when I went shopping for book and instead came out of the store with a large pair of beautiful purple faerie wings.

The wings are unlike ones I’ve seen before: Like butterfly wings, they have small silver dots outlining the membranes on the sheer dark purple fabric with purple gemstones tastefully spotting each wing. They may have fit me a little too perfectly: the woman at the till almost didn’t charge me for them because they suited my outfit so well!

When I came out of the store I was quick to realize that I was on my bike, and had no alternative but to wear them for the remainder of my errands on my way home. Shrugging my shoulders, I hopped on my bike and became a bicycle faerie zooming around Victoria!

It was to my utmost surprise how people responded. People would spot me, and after a look of surprise a big grin would spread across their face that was usually followed with a witty comment or a question. At a stop light a fellow biker asked, “Do your wings make you go faster?”; A car drove by down a main road and a man yelled “I LOVE YOU!”; A woman at a store I dropped my resume at smiled big; a woman at a coffee shop inhaled sharply and said “Angel.”.

And all of it created warm fuzzy sensations within my heart spreading to a large smile on my face.

I decided that I will wear these wings much more often now, whenever my activities and the weather permits it.

“You were bringing magic into the world.” Said a friend of mine with glee when I told her about my experience with the wings.

It followed a conversation that happened the very same day where I found myself saying something like this:“Magic is exactly what is needed in that world. That magic brings healing to a part inside of our self that can otherwise never be healed. Magic is a part of us, and it needs to be allowed to live inside our world more and more.”

I firmly believe that.

This is the kind of magic that I love. It doesn’t take a lot of time, and it doesn’t usually require much of anything because it is so simple. It is simply finding the right kind of magic for your heart.

Sometimes it is playing on the swings, or doodling in chalk. Perhaps it is blowing bubbles in your chocolate milk, throwing snowballs or making snow angels. Maybe its painting, or another act of creation. It could be skateboarding or skipping, getting dressed up in exactly what you want to wear because its beautiful or it could be attacking someone with a hug.

You’ve found the right magic for you when the heart opens with an expansive happiness and the grin on your face can’t be controlled.

When magic comes alive inside our world a part inside of us seems to open up and we can’t help but smile. That same part opens up when we allow ourselves to create or when we allow our inner child to come up for air for a brief moment. Each moment that we have of this magic heals a part of us. It opens up our minds to new possibilities, nurtures our inner child, draws out wonder and curiosity, and allows more intuition to come forth.

I know each one of us has access to it because it naturally resides in each of us. It is a magic that children naturally have that often seems to become hidden as they grow up.

This magic is so important because of the joy it gives us and manifests into our worlds. More ways of adults expressing and allowing this joy into their lives is needed everywhere.

It is through joy that we can manifest everything that we want. This joy helps us to see the world as a world of light even when it seems dark because we are able to see outside of ourselves. It helps us to get unstuck and out of ruts because in a single instant it can lift our mood from a dark depression to an at least “okay, maybe the world isn’t so bad.”.

The more we practice this magic in our lives in little ways the more it spontaneously happen on its own. I know people who have tapped into this without expressing it with such words and they are some of the happiest people that I know. Their lives have not been any easier than the rest of us and they have done their share of healing, part of which was using this magic.

These people might call it “following your bliss” or “experiencing the world with open-hearted joy”. Others might say its “working with your inner child”. Its up to you how you want to view it and express it.

I personally believe that there is magic in this world. It is in each one of us waiting to be accessed and it is one of, if not, the strongest force in nature. We get glimpses of it every now and then through our creativity, our intuition and other certain moments that bring smiles to our faces.

The first step to working with it is discovering how you can feel your magic. The  next step is to connect with it as often as you can.

Then the unexpected will begin to happen and you will start to see magic working in your life.

Job Results in Life Changing Realization

This week was a revolutionary week for me in my mindset and beliefs.

I had taken a job at a convenience store that in no way suited me. The company and I didn’t have the same values, nor did the job allow me to have any sort of self-expression or a feeling of fulfilment at the end of my shift. Where I would like to be helping people, I was serving them cigarettes and junk food. When I would like to have self-expression through my hair and clothing, at work it was reduced to uniformity to not look any different than anyone else – I had to wear black pants.* When I went in search of said pants I couldn’t buy them. They didn’t inspire me in any way, shape or form. Neither did my job.

I tried hard to be happy working there. The people there were kind and my manager flexible with my schedule. I was earning money. A person can be happy anywhere, right? Each day before work I would ground and centre myself so that I could present my most joyful self. I wanted to connect with the customers that were coming through, lighten them, spread joy. Instead I found myself quickly drained and grumpy.

For me, it felt like my soul was dying each day that I went to work and I lost a bit of my individuality. I felt like I was loosing consciousness and awareness with each customer that I rung through my till. Troubling.

Reflecting on this and the job, I wondered to myself why I was there. It occurred to me during my reflections that I could quit my job. And if I did, everything would be okay and work itself out. Exciting!

Later in the day, when talking with a friend, my job situation came up. When I heard myself speak I became aware that I was working a job unsuitable to my personality and who I am because I was scared of lack – not having a liveable income or home.

I learned that I was re-enacting a pattern that has occurred in my life over and over again over the past six years, one I’m ready to stop. The pattern is taking a job “just because I need the money” instead of taking a job because I like it or enjoy it. Whenever I’ve taken a job for that reason, using the logic that once I have something I’ll be able to search for what I want, I’ve never been able to find an enjoyable job. Instead I get dragged down by a job I don’t enjoy and end up not searching for anything new or I jump to another equally unsatisfying job.

This festered and grew in my mind over the next few days and came into being a huge realization that is indeed revolutionary to the way that I live my life:

If I choose to do something out of fear-based energies, then I will attract more fear-based energies into my life. But if I choose instead, to do something out of love-based energies then love-based energies will surely flow into my life.

That made too much sense to me to ignore it.

I needed to quit.

But I was scared.

This is a very different way of thinking for me that wasn’t taught to me by my family, school, or even by my culture. The more I contemplated this the more it made sense, and several occurrences happened creating confidence in me and in my decision.

First I noticed in the prayer that I’ve been saying each morning for a few weeks includes this line:

Oh Kind and Merciful Kuan Yin, give me steadfast courage to follow my heart in my life’s journey, even when it means defying the expectations of others to reach my true destiny.

The same day I choose to do what I needed to do I pulled the affirmation card stating:

I am totally adequate for all situations. I am one with the power of the Universe. I claim this power, and it is easy for me to stand up for myself.

I wondered, is quitting a job that is unsuitable to me standing up for myself? Is it ultimately an act of self-love?

One of the women in my class made the statement that day, “It’s like I had to give myself permission to be happy.”

Ironically, that’s what I felt that I needed to do. Why do I need to work a job I don’t like? How does that make sense? I don’t and it doesn’t make sense. The Universe put us on the planet to be happy, not to be miserable. Our life is supposed to be filled with joy in all areas, however that looks for each of us. And it will be different for all of us. Obviously, this job is not my joy.

Then, in the book I was reading, I stumbled upon:

“Follow your bliss. – Joseph Campbell”

Well, you know, a woman has to do what a woman has to do. I decided I want to bring forth only energies of love, therefore all things that I do will be based out of love and happiness instead of fear.

I called my workplace and quit. A weight lifted off of me, and I was happy and excited about life again. Curiosity about what life and I can create in my universe came back.

The next day I pulled these affirmations:

I now go beyond other peoples fears and limitations. It is ‘my’ mind that creates my experiences. I am unlimited in my own ability to create the good in my life.

It is safe to look within. As I move through the layers of other peoples opinions and beliefs I see within myself a magnificent being, wise and beautiful. I love what I see in me.

Suiting, no?

*My wardrobe has morphed into mainly skirts/dresses, with the very odd day being a jeans day.

Graduation!

This week I graduated from a very special six month employability program.

This program contained a heart and soul that is way beyond any government supported program I’ve witnessed or been a part of. The program focuses on women who’ve experienced trauma in their lives and teaches skills to re-enter the workforce with healthy boundaries, positive thinking patterns, confidence, increased self-esteem and professionalism.

The graduation was emotionally charged, especially for all the graduates. Almost everyone of us cried. After sharing our speeches, and being honored for all the hard work that we have done on a professional and personal level, we left Bridges.

Many of us will go back for additional support to the cocoon of love that has been created by all the people who work there. Their passion for helping women, providing healing, one by one, step by step shines through the work they do.

We will not come together again as we did in the classroom, three times each week, for learning and growth. In a short time we created a sense of family together, and now we will leave, each of us on our individual paths, but this time, feeling empowered and confident.

In honor of my graduation, I would like to share with you my speech. I was crying and shaking as I read it aloud in front of around thirty people: new students to the program, fellow graduates and their friends and family and the staff of Bridges.

“When I first came to Bridges I had no idea how much my experiences here would change my life. I came because I intuitively knew it would be invaluable.

I believe there are so many people, men and women, who could benefit from attending a program like this. There were many times a friend of mine would listen to what I’m up to with Bridges and say “Wow, I wish I could experience that.”

My time in Bridges has taught me that I am a strong and invaluable woman, who is an asset to this world. It has shown me that my gifts and strengths can be used, appreciated, explored. I’ve learned to trust myself despite what is going on around me, and to practice self-love every single day.

I am in the process of stepping into my own power and womanhood, a process that Bridges helped to expediate and ground, while providing direction and support that I will be eternally grateful for. I know there is so much that I’ve taken away from this program that I might not have received otherwise.

I’ve learned that I am a soul that thrives on the act of creation, and that it is okay for me to “Follow My Bliss” as Joseph Campbell so famously said. I’ve learned that it is okay for me to make my way in this world, my way.

I am proud to be graduating Bridges with this group of wonderful and beautiful women. I am so happy and grateful that I have been able to witness their journey’s and to have mine witnessed by such strong and wise women who have blossomed so much in these last six months.

Now that I am done Bridges, courage will be my friend, my vulnerability my strength, my heart my guide, my passions my focus, my love my life.

In short, I am a superhero.”

My New Role Model

I have a new role model. Her name is Lady Gaga.

Recently I watched a short documentary about her and to my great delight and surprise it was repeated over and over again how much work she put into her art and her life path.

For some reason I had an impression that success doesn’t take a lot of work. I had this vague idea of how it comes about easily and almost effortless very quickly once the ball gets rolling. All you need to do is be in the right place at the right time or meet the right person.

Working at my own business, Willows Lavender, has been A LOT of work. I’ve been determined and focused on the business because I’m confident that I will eventually live off of the earnings somehow. Its simply a desire I’ve had from a young age that I don’t want to work for anyone else. I want the freedom and autonomy that comes with being self-employed.

For a while I was reading about all these successful people – entrepreneurs, investors, business people, social entrepreneurs, spiritual leaders – who were offering how to’s for success. It seemed rare to come across someone who would simply say “It took a hell of a lot of work to get here. I gave up nights and days to get where I am today.” Persistence and determination came up too of course, but for some reason my mind was like “yeah, yeah, got that, what else can I do?”

Most often I read “Find something you love, and do it” with how-to steps given on starting, but not much beyond that. Logic dictates that if you find what you love, you won’t want to stop doing it so a huge part of being self-employed is solved right there.

I feel that is a misunderstanding and that ultimately self-employment, often like a spiritual path, is an undertaking that is usually extremely individual. This means that while other people’s advice and thoughts can help broaden my horizons and introduce new thoughts to contemplate it still all comes down to me and the decisions I make.

What works for me? What will work for me? For clients, whom am I going to resonate most with? How am I best going to present myself? What is my business going to evolve into as I evolve and grow? How do I want to design my life, and therefore my work experience and income? How am I going to present myself to the world?

These are all questions that are very personal and flexible. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for me so it becomes a process of trial and error or sometimes following intuitive hunches as I make my way through the business world.

Lady Gaga lives her life like its a work of art. Every action and every appearance she makes is another work of art that will end up creating a beautiful masterpiece that looks inside the pure and innocent parts of humanity as well as the gross parts.

I can’t commend or thank her enough for that inspiration of being a living example of a strong co-creator with the Universe. Our lives are a blank canvas that get painted with all of our choices. Some of us have colorful canvases and others have canvases that are shades of gray. Some of us are happy with our canvases, and some of aren’t. Sometimes we try to throw away our canvas and start anew.

The Universe is whispering to you and me that all we dream is truly possible. Our lives are a blank canvas, begin to consciously create and you will see your creations come alive through determination and a lot of hard work.

Lady Gaga’s knew what she wanted and she took all the steps she feasibly could while working hard. This gave the Universe sufficient energies to manifest exactly what she desired, and turned her into a very powerful woman. Her life is an example of the Law of Attraction manifest.

According to the documentary Lady Gaga was born and named Stefani in 1986. She began learning piano at four and showed musical talent early on. She focused on song writing and creating her persona while working hard to make a living at not so glamorous jobs, sometimes working as many as three at a time. She was broke and just making ends meet, but her life changed when she Akon heard her and signed her to his label. Her life changed quickly thereafter as her songs started climbing the charts.

This inspires me. She’s a superstar success at a young age with a philanthropist spirit who stands strong in the image that she has cultivated over the years with a lot of thought and practice. I have an entirely new view of her and much more respect since watching the documentary.

Lady Gaga posters anybody?

Who, alive today, inspires you and is your role model? Why?

 

 

 

The Merry-Go-Round of Self-Respect and Selfishness

This week was chalk full (where did that saying come from?) of stuff coming up for me. All of it I’ve looked at before and delved into it, but this time I knew it wasn’t a reminder. It was an invitation to go deeper, go through another layer, take another ride on the Merry Go Round.

The horses that I would ride on my beautiful red with gold gild carousel would be called Selfishness and Self-Respect. If I could give my love to both horses at the same time I would, however, I can only fully focus on one at a time. Thus I will do so:

Self-Respect

The class I’m in right now focuses on helping women gain employment skills and increase self-confidence and self-esteem. A common theme became evident in a classroom conversation when the teachers were out of class: All of us had met and dated men that did not respect women.

Many of us agreed that there definitely are men out there that respect women. Just how do we meet one?

I explained what we had noticed and put the following question to one of my good friends and sometimes mentor. “Why is it that we all seem to be  experiencing men who don’t respect women?”

Her response was a question: “How many of the women in your group respect themselves?”

Thinking about it, not many of us do. We are in the process of learning to respect ourselves. It shows through the significant differences that have emerged among all the women from our first day to now from the way we act, speak, and are taking care of ourselves.

On the flip side, how can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?

I began evaluating my life. How am I not respecting myself? What does it look like to respect myself? How would I define respect?

Here are some of the things that came to mind for me:

Boundaries. Trusting myself. Following my heart and my intuition. Giving myself what I need: space to contemplate and process, silence. Taking care of myself first.

What would it look like to respect myself? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I imagine I would feel empowered and strong. Guarding my boundaries would be second nature. I would know how I am feeling and how to respectfully state it. My voice would be used appropriately and be heard.

How am I not respecting myself? Boundaries are huge for me and learning what it is that I am feeling.

Its so important that to know what I am emotionally feeling. Often times I need a while to identify and process what I feel. As much as I would like to rush this process I need to allow it to flow. This will make my life easier, and when I am in relationships I will be able to better handle myself. It will become clearer to me why I am making the choices I choose.

Following my heart and intuition I feel I’m doing okay on. It is usually easier for me to follow my intuition but it gets cloudy when I don’t have the space that I need to allow my heart and intuition to speak.

Selfishness

It seems that we are programmed in Western Society to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish, and that selfishness is bad bad bad! I believe this to be a faulty thought pattern. As a healer I often hear, witness and fall victim to the thought that I must be selfless and therefore all that I possibly can to others. This is not true.

It came to my awareness last year that taking care of myself leads to me taking even better care of others. It made it okay for me to do what I need to do and not drop everything I was doing for other people. It was okay to ensure that I had a bit of time for myself each day.

I have noticed that still to this day I will allow other people to have more presence in my life than what I would personally like. For me one of the biggest acts of selfishness is taking myself away from others in time and in presence. This is also one of the healthiest things that I can do for myself.

Selfishness is a behavior that is trained out of us though that can benefit many. It allows us to clarify what we desire and want. It allows us to create and to be. It allows us to know ourselves.

Selfishness is not bad when it is not in the egotistical extreme. It is a good thing in many cases. We are living on this planet for ourselves, not for others. Yes, we may help others a long our way which is an experience that can create sensations of goodness, but ultimately our life needs to be lived for us. If we let others rule our life will we truly find happiness, contentment or joy?

Is it selfish that as a healer I will reschedule a session with a client if I do not feel that I can be fully present? A year ago I wouldn’t have, but now it is simply that I cannot give them a quality session when I am in a poor emotional, mental or physical state. This action takes care of myself and provides my client a better quality service.

As much as I have grown in this regard I still take better care of other people than I do myself.

Often I treat people in my life how I want to be treated, however I don’t treat myself nearly as well. Rarely do I spoil myself in ways that make my soul sing. It is easy for my boundaries to become mucky and my voice go unheard. Often experiences of silence that soothe my soul more than anything else disappear. Space that I require to process and contemplate I choose to relinquish because I want to spend time with others.

I love them more than I love me it seems.

Taking care of myself will automatically create self-respect and trust.

By being “selfish” I know that no matter what is happening in my life I will consistently take care of myself. Therefore I can trust that my needs are being met. Self-respect will grow.

The act of sacrificing a part of me because its “right” or because it will help someone no longer exists. I will stay whole, and I will stay me.

My horses seem to be brother and sister. Perhaps they are the beautiful chestnut horses that pull the carriage on my Merry Go Round. When I work with one the other becomes stronger, and vice versa. I love that they are so inter-related!

What do you think self-respect is? Thoughts on selfishness?

Jumping to the Future!

Really, sometimes, I wish I could tell you what the future is. Other times I am really glad that I can’t because then there would be no amazing surprises or dastardly mistakes that make me laugh with joy. Those things can only happen when life is being spontaneously lived, and I never want to give them up.

Today’s blog post is actually about a thing I do that is really annoying (to me). It’s this thing where I try to see my whole future, and jump conclusions about how its going to feel and turn out. One of my friends calls it “jumping”. I think that’s a good name for this thought pattern that often stops me from doing what I desire.

What happens often when I jump is that I will get stuck on just one aspect of what I’m jumping about. The ability to see the bigger picture is not utilized and the decision I make is no longer objective because I’ve based it on what I’ve jumped to in my mind. Often, this has kept me paralyzed and I’ve not done what I want to do because of the made up consequences that were created in my mind. Most of the time those consequences did not actually happen, or life changed so much by that time that they didn’t matter anymore.

I have a most perfect example for you this week because my tendency to jump came up again in the one area of my life that I experience much turmoil. Though I’ve practiced relaxing in most areas of my life previous to the following conversation I was totally unaware that I was jumping…

I’ve gone back and forth for years on the education that I would like to pursue. I have an avoidance of University for a myriad of reasons that don’t need to be listed today, and so I’ve tried to think up and take “short-cuts”. As much as I dislike University I’ve resigned myself to attend in the coming year.

After much research and synchronicity I’ve decided I’d like to receive training as a counsellor.

Because when I grow up I want to be a Spiritual Counselor. YAY! Can’t wait for my first day!

Here is where I jump: from my research most jobs in this field require at minimum a Master’s degree. That translates into six years of school. I cannot STAND the thought of being tied down anywhere for six years. That just freaks me out. To me, it seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!

*dramatically dies*

My friend whom I told this too started laughing.

“What?” I asked, tears in my eyes.

“Why don’t you just think about it in smaller chunks? One semester at a time rather than six years. It’s a lot more manageable that way.”

I thought about it for a minute, and began thinking about one semester. My body instantly relaxed. Then I thought about six years, and hew boy, my body tensed up. Back to one semester.

“I can do that.”

I love this! In that moment I realized that breaking things down into manageable tasks is a much more efficient way of thinking about my life. It makes everything a lot more feasible and not as scary in the long run. Life always is changing, and for all I know I might only go for one semester because some amazing once in a lifetime opportunity comes up and I choose to take that instead of continuing my studies. Perhaps I move to Australia, and continue studying there. Who knows?

The thing is, that too, is jumping into the future. There are things that I’ve not done or procrastinated because of the “What if’s” and there are things that I have jumped into without much thought. It takes a lot of practice for me to get it in the middle of not thinking too much which usually leads me to jumping, and of thinking too little which usually means I take on way more than I can handle.

In one year so much can change. It is much more helpful for me to stay in the present moment with tentative plans then it is for me to jump six years into the future and think about all that I might miss out on. By staying in the present more it is easier for me to take advantage of the opportunities that do come my way, and to follow my intuition to take the opportunities that are right for me.

A few years ago when asked what I was going to do for the next couple of years. I would answer “Right now, I am doing this. In the next month I do this, and in the month after I will do this. After that, I have no idea.”

I liked that. It kept my life open. I didn’t have the weight of commitments holding me down past where I could handle, which at that time was three months. At the same time it wasn’t necessarily the most healthy thing. I didn’t want to give commitments that were longer than a three-month span because of what might happen.

This held me back from anything I wasn’t one hundred percent gung-ho. I didn’t think of things as a pros and cons list, but instead as a feeling. If it felt right I would take the opportunity and go for it. I fought hard to be able to have the choice of following my feelings. As much as I would like to take every opportunity, I have learned not every opportunity needs to be taken. I can choose the ones that will serve me best and teach me what I desire.

University does not feel all the way right. I have concerns about it however, careful thought and consideration conclude that it is wise to keep my options open and if lacking a degree is keeping me back it would be a good idea to do something to remedy the situation…

Let’s re-frame the following:

The thoughts “To me that seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!” are examples of thinking called “All or Nothing Thinking” and “Over-generalization” and “Jumping to Conclusions – Fortune Telling” in Cognitive Behavior Therapy according to the class I’m attending at Bridges for Women. This thinking is a distorted way of viewing the world, and in my example I do indeed have a view that does not serve me well.

Let us re-frame the thoughts: Six years is not an entire lifetime, in reality it will go quite fast (it’s already been five years since I graduated high school). I will be quite busy in University. Many students transfer schools, go away for trips, and have many more amazing experiences while they are in school. Students begin and leave, they begin and stay. Life changes, school changes, location changes. It all can happen. If I don’t like it or it feels wrong I can always leave; there are many options available for my education, even within the University system.

That sounds much better.

Stayed tuned for next weeks super juicy blog post on Crooked Thinking & Limiting Beliefs! 🙂

Late New Moon Post!

Ah! Apologies for the late blog post this week! I would say that it won’t happen again, but it very well might.

You see, this week I’ve realized that I have a ton of projects on the go, none of which are close to completion. The pile keeps getting added to while I’m feeling the importance of writing for this blog, my own novel and content for the Willows Lavender newsletter (still awaiting its first edition).

I decided this week to re-prioritize everything that I’m doing. I’m feeling a pull to complete a few things that have been lagging for the past few months. So, the blog post is late because I started maybe five of them, but none of them have sufficient quality content that I would be happy to post due to the lack of contemplation.

Thus, I’ve decided to write a short blog post in honor of this past weekends New Moon!

I have come to love the passing of the New and Full moons because they signify a passage of time that is natural and inherent to our own bodies passage of time. Since being a child I’ve often wondered what it was like to live in a time where the only time keepers were the sun and the moon instead of the artificial time that we race around to now. Instinctively it feels that to me we would all be much more relaxed, and our bodies would function better.

Never did I guess that by simply acknowledging the passage of the Moons with ceremony that my body would adjust itself to the natural cycle of the moon.

I’ve recorded for the last four months that my period ends the day the New Moon begins. Last year at this time, my cycle was irregular and I could only guess when my flow would start. Now I know exactly when it will start. It has stayed regular throughout all of the changes and stress in my life over the past four months which is amazing to me.

Just before the New Moon I will feel quite tired, and things that need to end will be ended that week. My understanding of this is that in a new cycle energies that are no longer serving me don’t need to be in the new. It might screw up the manifestation power of the New Moon if old energies join new!

On the day of my ceremony for the New Moon I will write down all the new things I want to invite into my life, and look over the things that I’ve asked for the last New Moons. Gratitude hits me with each stroke of my pen that crosses off the things that have manifest for me, the wishes that have come true, the wishes that came true but weren’t quite right, and the knowledge that my wishes will come true.

Each night I find myself out and about I catch myself looking for the moon in the sky and breathing in the sweet and fresh air – its a moment to pause everything and give respect to the power that nature still holds over us even in the city. With each passing I find myself being more and more drawn to join the nature that surrounds me.

I think nature is growing on me… I was thinking of going camping soon…

Purity of Thought

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about purity of thought and the power behind it. So voila! Here are some thoughts I’ve been working on for a little while. Enjoy!

Many great teachers have mentioned and taught many times over that purity of thought is a huge component in manifesting ascension for ourselves. They all teach different ways that can help one to achieve the level of purity that is required: thinking positive thoughts, replacing all thoughts with positive ones, mantras, meditation practices, prayer, breathing to mention a few common techniques.

What is purity of thought?

I believe it is the emotional and mental state (thereby physical and spiritual states too) where we are ourselves, one hundred percent pure. In this state we have no fear, sadness, pain, happiness or joy. It is not to say that we do not experience emotion, but rather our emotions do not control us. They don’t bring us into the past or into the future. We are in the moment as each moment happens.

In this state we have no pre-programmed beliefs or systems running through us at all. Other people’s ideas and thoughts from our parents to our society’s no longer exist within us, and we have nothing to truly “process” or “figure out”. It all is, and we are able to see and know in the fullest sense of Truth. We have entered the No-Mind of Zen and Nirvana of Buddhism.

It is also when we are in this completely pure state that our subconscious is in total alignment with our consciousness, and that means we step into full consciousness, full awareness of our power. That is when we have one hundred percent control of our body and we can heal any part of ourselves effortlessly. It is when we are able to reprogram our minds, bodies, and spirit in an instant because we are no longer a slave to the mind or the emotional body. This is sometimes called the state of the Ascended Masters and other enlightened beings.

I believe it is our true state, and we’ve simply forgotten what our true state is. Aka. YES! I’M A SUPERHERO IN DISGUISE!!! 😀

And so are you.

How do we attain purity of thought?

This process is going to be different for each person because we are all unique individuals with so many variables affecting each of us.

Because we are all so unique no one says that you need to be a new age spiritual junkie to attain purity of thought. I personally believe that many people who work close with nature like a survivalist, and all of the people we have seen YouTube videos about as they play with ‘wild animals’ such as lions or crocodiles have somehow attained a purity of thought that is rare in our current society. Perhaps you can attain it with food?

For me, right now it will come through my practices that are largely a mix-mash of many different traditions and the focus of this particular article is written with that focus and influence.

And I believe all of the ways that the great spiritual teachers teach us are all equally valid. Perhaps one of the best ways of reaching purity of thought is using each practice, or devising our own, as it fits most naturally in our lives.

If we were to do all of the most common spiritual practices our life might look something like:

  • Wake up
  • Meditate in whichever form you are inspired to (minimum 1 hour)
  • Yoga
  • Visit nature to maintain a strong connection to the planet (and its grounding)
  • Pray
  • Practice gratitude
  • Constant watching of thought and reprogramming thought patterns as much as possible (tireless work)

When do you actually go to work?

Purity of Thought in Practice

It seems like a lot, and it is. It gets easier for all of us as more people do the work to create larger paths for others to follow. It also gets easier with practice because it turns into a lifestyle that naturally benefits you. I know from my personal experience that tenacious dedication to my spiritual practices at first were essential in turning spirituality into a natural lifestyle. Even though there was a lot of work involved I noticed a general improvement over my entire well-being and flow to my life.

I’ve also noticed that many practices have become so well ingrained with my life after years of practice that I am no longer able to separate the spiritual part of myself from the rest of me. It would take conscious effort on my part to stop doing spiritual practices because I have such a strong habit of praying when I’m walking, practicing mindfulness whenever I remember, and watching my thoughts.

I am still far from perfect though and often  I resist flowing into a more dedicated practice in my life. I say, “I’m too busy” to meditated everyday. That is an excuse, I know. Often when I experience resistance to my practice and so slowly I let it decline into something (for me) that’s non-existent. This resistance comes most often from fear. This was the fear that Marianne Williamson so famously speaks about in the following words:

“it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Any practice, spiritual or not, that brings us closer to our true selves, our Divinity, helps our light shine brighter and our power to grow.

Results of Purity of Thought

In our society purity of thought separates us from the norm, our light and power separates us from everyone else. (Spiderman anyone? Batman? Cat Woman? X-Men? Maybe they aren’t all light, but they definitely have power and they are definitely separate from the norm…)

The stronger our light shines, the greater the degree of difference we feel from more people. We no longer resonate with them. We are there to help and share our wisdom and talents but the actual amount of people that we can be true friends or lovers with gets smaller and smaller and smaller the purer our thought becomes. Unless we show everyone how easy it is to be a superhero! 😛

To have purity of thought defines you as someone different from everyone else. Purity of thought brings forth the impossible into everyday lives, and when it is strong, can show what is actually possible as a human being. People who pursue this purity will learn that their lives are very different from the norm, and it will in a sense alienate them from the majority. But they will be the most courageous, brilliant, ingenious, beautiful and radiant human beings we will ever see and know.

 My Conclusion

Therefore, I accept the challenge to manifest purity of thought in my own mind. Because I’m done being scared of who I truly am. Because I am going to take control and take responsibility for everything in my life so that I can create exactly what I desire in my life. So each day I will learn my lessons as best I can, and learn more about how I can shine, practicing releasing all that holds me back. Because I really love the thought that I’M A SUPERHERO!

What do you say? Will you join me in uncovering your inner superhero? Perhaps your path is not one of meditation. What path do you choose, and what path works for you?

I’m excited to hear about your adventures! 🙂

P.S.

This article turned out to be five-page long essay, so this blog post is a much shortened version of that. 🙂

Space to Breathe, Fear and Writing Again!

Recently I came into conscious awareness that I had set up my life in such a way that there was no longer anyone breathing down my back telling me what to do. There was no “shoulds”, there were no “needs” just simply “What do you desire?”. It was a really strange and positive realization that makes me want to jump up and down with joy!

For so long I have “worked” (if you can call life work) to put myself in a safe space where I can truly be me and learn about me without major interference. I felt that there was all of this space around me, space where I could breathe and relax while making my decisions. My close friends that I asked what I should do didn’t tell me what I should do. They listened and all told me the same thing “follow your heart, follow your intuition.”

Who knew that this would be one of the scariest things for me? Ironic in a sense because last year coming to BC I jumped to follow my heart and dreams. Right now I don’t feel the Universe is being as clear to me about what it is that I need to do right now though in reality, its me not being able to pick up or hear the answers that the Universe is giving me.

Several things came along with this realization though – things that needed to be looked at closer before a major celebration took place. The feeling that I could breathe and the sense of freedom to make my own choices was a very odd and new sensation that scared me.

It means that I am one hundred percent responsible for the choices that I make now. It means that I no longer have to run because I no longer have anything to escape from. When I do something that I don’t like it is all on me and I need to own all of my stuff. It means that I have the opportunity to step fully into my power and radiance a little bit more than before.

All of this came at once, subconsciously, and it came as an onslaught of internal fear that was nameless, faceless yet overwhelming and heavy. It would rise up inside of me and my only response would be to curl into a heaving ball of tears for a good fifteen or twenty minutes at a time with my body trembling. This went on for a good week and a half at least, and only now am I coming to realize exactly what was happening.

Now I see this fear is a conglomerate of many fears – the unknown, taking full responsibility for my life, not making the “right choice”, judgments from others and therefore myself, stepping into my own power and radiance.

All of these fears made me want to run away and escape from everything. From my perspective during those days it was the outside world causing all this fear to come up in me, and that I must not be in the right spot at all. Now I know it was all internal.

For most of my years living on this Earth I was always hatching escape plans. I have journals filled with them, and all the calculations to go along with them from how much a bus ticket would cost me to the destination I wanted most and how I would earn that money.

I’ve learned this last year I was doing a lot of running away. I now know that my subconscious has been trained over the years to do precisely that! And its not a bad thing. But it is no longer necessary because I’ve chosen to surround myself with good people, and I’ve chosen to live my life a way that feels most right to me.

This running away reflex was first brought to my attention through a conversation with a good friend of mine, who brought it up. At that moment I had to agree with his points, and I promised myself that I would watch out for this pattern in all parts of my life. I made a deal with myself, that if I started talking about leaving this place I would force myself to wait until I knew with absolute certainty what I was doing. And it worked! So it seems.

I know that it will take time to reprogram my subconscious completely from this tendency, but I know too that I can and will do it.

Now I find myself in a space that is much safer and more stable than where I have been for the last month and not nearly as chaotic for the last several months. Gradually I have been able to calm down enough to come to these learnings about myself.

And I feel ready to write again.

P.S.

Since “settling” into this temporary yet stable place I’ve pulled certain cards from my deck The Ascended Masters that I’d like to share with you, if you are interested.

Major Card: “New Beginnings” which I interpret as follows for me: You are currently in a very special spot of your life where anything can happen that you desire. It is time to let the new energy coming into your being and to release all of the old stuff. Let your life be new, and create what you want most in it. Take time to figure out just what it is that you want.

Major Card: “Write”: TA-DA!

Major Card: “Artistic Expression”: Connected with writing, it is through artistic expression of your choice that you learn so much more about yourself and your desires. You are able to discover many things and make sense of the world more and more through this process.

Major Card: “Open Your Heart to Giving and Receiving Love”: This is something that I’ve been frequently reminded of over the last week, and I don’t like it. It brings me too close to too many people. At the same time I know its necessary and this card comes as a reminder to breathe, and open up to all the love my tiny universe has to offer. After all, people are the bread and butter of life, and everything else is extra. Encouragement to dive into the community and be myself.

Update YAY!

Hello!

Welcome to the life of an entrepreneur, even an organized one! It sure takes a lot to organize a business and get it going. 🙂

This past month has once again been a crazy month in my personal life. I’ve been working on getting the basic needs of my life met. Now that has been taken care of, I am able to once again update the Blog! I hope I get to fall back into a routine again soon with Blog updates!

Here are some new updates as to what is going on with Willows Lavender:

  • There is a new size of Gemstone Elixir! Its 5 mL and only $2. Very good buy.
  • Gemstone Elixirs 50 mL size are available in Victoria at The Dark Horse and Avalon Books.
  • Some of you may have noticed the new Online Store Tab. I’m still working on it, it’s very much in the beginning stages, and I’m learning as I go. If you know anyone who knows OsCommerce well enough to make it pretty and might be interested in doing a trade with me, please let me know! 🙂
  • On the online store you can see much more detailed descriptions of all the elixirs minus the astrological signs. Those I’m still working on.
  • My prices have changed for Card Readings. I’m still finding the price I feel most comfortable at that will attract the clientelle that I want. So Card Readings are now a suggested donation of $50.
  • I’m also going to be holding a Reiki Level one class soon! August or September I haven’t decided yet. There will be a promotion with it, so let me know if your interested!
  • I’ll be working at the Sunday Market in the Uptown Plaza from 12 pm – 4 pm on Sundays starting July 1st. Hope to see you there!

Sending you all lots of love and light!