Category Archives: living

New Website

Hello one and all!

It seems I have a habit of posting around the new and full moons when I’m not on a stricter schedule… Hm…

My life is in an intense period of change and growth. I’ve been guided to believe that around my birthday in December it will even out and lessen in intensity. Right now, life is crazy in all ways, and my time needs to be used wisely because there is not a lot of free time.

One of my main experiments in the last couple of days has been sending “love beams” to people. I’ve also learned a bit more about energy work that seems to be essential to practising it safely which is good! And by safely I mean, not using any of your own energy in the process of doing energy work on another. In this case, it was not using my own energy to send a love beam, but sending the Universal energy. The Universal energy is love and goes where I want it to go through my intention.

In my body and energy field the last two weeks I’ve been experiencing shifts. I’ll feel the heart open, or shift to one side, or maybe the root chakra turn to fire, or the solar plexus turn left. It’s been intense, a good intense. So in my downtime I do my best to relax, and let it flow. I know where I am going, and it is going to be AWESOME! It’s scary as hell though to feel through all the junk I’ve been carrying around, but it needs to be done. Just like spring cleaning!

And all the sweat, tears and fighting is paying off! People are noticing how I am a different person. I surprise myself sometimes. One thing a good friend of mine said to me that hit me hard was “That’s a false story. Stop telling yourself false stories. Maybe you were that person in the past, but that’s not you right now.” Now every time I think to myself that I am something, a second question comes with it: Is that true right now? Most of the time it’s no.

I am house-sitting until the middle of August which I am super excited about. I have a place to live relatively stress-free, and to make the gemstone elixirs in.

For Willows Lavender there is a new website! The address is willowslavender.com. Check it out, enjoy it. I’m still working on it and tweaking on it. I’d like to add an online store which has turned into a huge learning curve for me in WordPress. It’s fun though!

Time to fly

Serafina

 

The Spiral Change

I’ve done it! I’ve finished my business plan and my request for business seed money has been granted! With endings come new beginnings, and since the completion of my business plan I’ve been very focused on writing and creating this blog. One of my advisers noticed this, and recently in our conversation brought up his surprise as to where I am putting all my attention to.

“Shouldn’t you be more focused on Willows Lavender than your blog at this point? If you focus on many different things, you can only do a little bit at a time, but if you focus on one thing you can get a lot more done in a shorter time period?”

He was right. And so I informed him, that honestly, I just don’t know what the next step is with Willows Lavender. What do I need to do now?

We didn’t come up with an answer because we didn’t know what I needed to do. But this conversation did prompt me to pull some cards before I went to sleep that night. The cards that I pulled were: Inner Power, Self-Reliance, and Quiet Time. I spent some time feeling them and this is what passed through my mind:

  • Starting and running my own business is a huge step in taking back my power and owning it. I need to be in my power as a business owner.
  • This business is a way for me to become more self-reliant on myself, learn to find the answers of what I need to do next by myself, for I am full of wisdom if I will listen to it.
  • Take some time off from working and allow yourself to open to the wisdom wishing to be heard.

I thanked the cards, put them away, and rolled into sleep fully intending to take the next day off to work more with my own inner guidance.
—————–

Spiral Times began in 2009 as an experiment, which each and every post has been since then. It began because I felt a need to share with others my experiences, thoughts, dreams and desires – many of which I have never taken the time to write down and post about. Spiral Times fell aside as life’s many lessons came full blast to me over the next few years until I was once again ready to post, which was last year at the end of 2011.

Never has Spiral Times lost its meaning to me, and today I would like to share with you why this blog is named as such because it is named for a moment that is still very vivid in my mind and that has greatly affected the way that I live and experience life.

In that particular moment, five years ago, my heart was being torn in many different directions. I knew that no matter which way I chose to go I would lose something important to me and so I couldn’t make up my mind in which direction to go. Crying out in despair for help, tears rolling down my face (it was dramatic in my mind so imagine it as so!), I was suddenly transported to another very different place.

I was walking up the slope of a white-blue spiral in a dimensionless and timeless space. The spiral expanded above and below me, and held other people who were also in various stages of ascending or descending. Sometimes they were even sitting or pacing back and forth on the spiral.

At the same time I saw and felt this, I knew that this spiral represented human consciousness. I knew that one could go up or down this spiral in whatever form or fashion one wanted to take. There were no good or bad, and no part of the spiral was better than any other part. However, the higher up the spiral one was the more “truths” one was aware of because the higher up the spiral the more “truths” one had lived. The higher truths encompassed and expanded the lower truths (for lack of me knowing the words that would better explain this experience without judgement I will use lower and higher even though no part on the spiral is better than another). Each person was living their truth, and as such was on the part of the spiral that vibrated to their truth. As each person lived they were making choices to expand or minimize their truth and change where they were on the spiral.

As I felt myself move up the spiral I returned to the living room and watched a spiral dissipate into the air, literally moving up from where I was.

This blog honors that moment that taught me so much so quickly. It was a moment that became the basis of many of my beliefs and that reminds me to argue less, to never try to convince or persuade a person, to bring compassion and understanding to every encounter, to all change to happen as it naturally does in life and with people. As your truth and vibrations change so does your life to match.

And yes, I get lost in the everyday world, and sometimes I’m not able to live these ideals, but the spiral reminds me of these ideals.

As I shift, Spiral Times shifts. Writing here for the last few months has allowed me to come to know what it is exactly that I really want to put on in the world at this moment. What I have been writing here doesn’t belong here. It belongs to Willows Lavender.

And so the Spiral Times is going to shift, make a transition, perhaps even experience a metamorphosis into what I’ve been guided that it needs to be.

On May 1st I will post again to inform you of any updates, and hopefully the Spiral Times will resume its journey anew at that time.

Until then,
Adios.

Who is Mirroring You?

What do the people around you reflect?

Many times I’ve come across the concept that the other people that I encounter are mirrors for what’s happening within me. The first time I encountered the phrase I sat back and contemplated it, rolling the phrase “People are mirrors for your inner self.” I knew it was important, but I didn’t quite understand it or realize it.

For many years after I tried to grasp the concept, tried to feel what it means for others to be a mirror of myself or to be a mirror for the person. I think once the concept is fully realized in a person will change the whole person’s behavior and the way they interact with people. Once fully realized, a person can see or feel the sweeping undertows of an interaction with another person and what is truly going on in a situation.

A small piece of Maya or illusion is removed.

Sometimes my brain has a very hard time conceptualizing a particular concept. This was one such concept. My brain twisted and bent as it strived to make sense of people mirroring me for a few years now. Often I would meet a person and do my best to see what was being mirrored back at me only to not be able to find anything at all. I would be asking the question: “What is it that I don’t like about them? What is it that annoys me?”

And if they were really annoying or infuriating to me I would say to myself, “Oh God, seriously? I really hope I am not like that at all!”

It was rare that the mirror would spawn deep reflection – my brain hurt – until I finally realized a small part of the concept just last month: Whatever I get annoyed about, I am. This was beautifully shown to me by the Universe and a friend of mine. I was complaining to her about how some people make plans: “They leave it all up in the air and I never know if we are actually going to meet or not! And I get so confused sometimes!”

My friend said: “You do that too.”

Stunned, my words died in midsentence. “What? When?”

She proceeded to give me several examples of when I had done the exact thing I was complaining about.

And it hit me: I am what I complain about.

Last week I witnessed a woman who was reflecting parts of me that I don’t like to look at or accept within myself. Because I refused to look at this aspect of me my reaction to her became stronger and stronger as I fought it – I wasn’t looking at my victim state because I wasn’t being a victim therefore why should I look there?

Deeper reflection over time revealed that there are still areas of my life where the victim mentality comes into play. By allowing myself to have a victim mentality and not being on guard of my mental patterns I step out of my personal power. I don’t take full responsibility for my life, giving it away to whatever fits in that moment of time.

Something else I have recently noticed is that in all the mirrors I’ve ever looked at, I was always trying to find what was wrong with me. I was always asking the wrong questions. I believe that asking those questions was part of the reason that I had such a hard time conceptualizing the idea – I didn’t believe that a person could mirror positive aspects of me too.

The Universe is not a tyrant.

The Universe is expressed in my reality right now as a duality – there is positive and there is negative and therefore mirrors in my life express both. Mirrors can be a positive experience!

Mirrors can be positive and beautiful too, just like you!

Realizing the other part – that you are a mirror for others – can change interactions with others as well. There are times when I have been hanging out with a person and something gets triggered. From my perspective I’ve done nothing to provoke or annoy the person, yet something happened for them that wasn’t pleasant.

Understanding that I may have mirrored for another an aspect they hate allows more acceptance and compassion to flow from me to them. Having experienced my own reaction to someone innocently reflecting one of my most undesirable aspects of myself in my opinion, I can totally empathize with a person who receives the same from me.

When a reaction like this happens, if a person is able to be conscious and allow the reaction to happen without judgment more clarity for both people can be attained. The person on the receiving end is able to step back from the situation and stay calm. He is able to practice allowance, his own wisdom and compassion. He needs to be able to decipher what is going in the situation – is he a mirror, or is he something more? How can he best respond to this situation? Does the reactor need space?

Sometimes the only thing the receiver can do is accept it. Sometimes the receiver must intervene. I would love to one day have the ability to take all with calmness and yet give out exactly what the other person needs to learn what the Universe is trying to teach, just like the story of a monk who threw his shoe at a student to make a point, or Jesus turning the merchants tables over in the temple in anger. (I’m sure most traditions have similar stories that I’d love to hear about as they bring a smile to my lips).

The person reacting needs to be able to fully react without judgment or fear, and learn from his reaction by having the space to process what happened and why. This must processing must be done on the reactors own terms and in his own time.

I feel like this happens quite often on a less extreme scale in many of my interactions with people, and part of the reason why I don’t want to respond to certain people or vice versa. I truly believe that every encounter with another is a learning opportunity. If I could use them all without being overwhelmed or driven crazy, I would! 🙂

P.S. Pictures in today’s blog posts were not taken by me. Click the image to go to the owners Flickr portfolio.

Self-Acceptance

The world is a wonderful harmonious place. It is full of sunshine, rainbows, and faeries. There are little Unicorns traipsing along the rainbows if you look close enough, and the fey regularly come out to happily play. The trees reach up into the sky unremittingly, the birds chirp joyously, and the plants all around us innocently grow. Humans help each other whenever possible and listen empathetically when appropriate. Time doesn’t matter  so there is no rush to accomplish anything because it is all completed right on Universal time. Laughter and joy permeate in the air around us. Kindness and generosity are regular occurrences. There is naught a harmful intention in the air for all is cared for and wonderful to bear.

This is what my brain naturally thinks of the world before I leave my bed. Then I get up. Reality is very far from the perfect fairy tale world that I like to think I live in.

I have been told over and over and over again certain things: The way I think is wrong. I am naive. The world doesn’t work that way. People aren’t kind and generous. I can’t trust people. Helping people is not worth the time nor expense – they are all trying to get something from you. Happiness is not possible unless you have lots of money. And yet money doesn’t buy you happiness.

Most of my life I’ve thought that I am weird. I view the world differently and that, I’m told, is a “bad” thing. I’ve allowed all of the thoughts listed above, and my beliefs about myself that are based on other peoples thoughts to stop my natural tendencies, personality, and who I am from being shown. By doing that I allowed my power to be taken away.

Now that I am in the process of taking back my power and stepping into it there is much to learn and many thought patterns that will gradually be reformed. One thing that I have noticed is that  when I am centred into my heart and grounded the outside worlds opinions don’t matter nearly as much, and I am able to confidently spread my joy and heart openly.

When I was in grade one or two I had my first jarring experience of not being accepted. My parents had enrolled me in a Christian private school that was rather extreme in a lot of their views and actions unknown to my parents at the time. What my parents were concerned about was the high quality of education provided by the school, which it definitely provided.

In class we had been asked if our parents were Christians. I didn’t raise my hand because my parents weren’t “Christians” by the schools definition of the word. The next day during the first recess I was approached by a group of girls. The leader of the group asked me “Is it true that your parents aren’t Christians?”

I, excruciatingly shy, nodded, surprised to be surrounded by so many people. The leader then informed me: “My mommy says I can’t play with you because your parents aren’t Christians.” The other girls nodded, and all of them walked away. I distinctly remember the feeling of shock, disappointment and confusion.

Reflecting on this memory illustrates to me that non-acceptance is taught or learned. It is a belief or thought pattern that until otherwise expressed most children would not think other than total acceptance of what is, whether that be a person, idea, animal, etc.

At first I thought self-acceptance was a value made up of a collection of beliefs, but now I’ve decided that self-acceptance is the sum of deeply ingrained beliefs. If a person lacks self-acceptance this shows with various statements that tell what the person thinks of themselves or believes  about themselves. The same goes if a person has self-acceptance.

The beliefs that dictate if we will or can accept ourselves for who we are define what we think of ourselves. All of these beliefs and self-acceptance rest energetically within the solar plexus chakra. Therefore, self-acceptance is directly tied to and effects  self-esteem, body image, stepping into one’s power and self-confidence.

Hug yourself! Your beautiful too!

Some of the beliefs that may contribute to not accepting ourselves are:

“I can’t do that because its too hard”

“I am too stupid”

“I am too fat”

Versus

“I am capable of working hard to achieve what I want.”

“I am intelligent. It is okay to make mistakes.”

“I am beautiful the way I am.”

The last couple of weeks I struggled with my own issues of self-acceptance. There were many people who came into my life who were mirrors for aspects of myself that I don’t really care to think about or look at. In fact, sometimes I refuse to look at those aspects. When the aspects of myself are mirrored and I find myself reacting strongly to the person mirroring the aspect I know that I am not accepting something of me.

One woman last week stood out in particular. When I saw this woman, I saw me. When I saw her victim state I saw mine. And this was repulsive to me. She was a reminder of a part of me, of who I had been at one point in my life, and I really did not like it. This was a part of myself that I found hard to look at never mind love. It was much easier to ignore that part of me and pretend that it had never happened.

And so I question: Is a person whole only when they accept all parts of themselves?

A person is whole when they are able to accept the fact that they are going to cry, be angry, be upset, have bad days, have bad hair, and that they have a “shadow side”. Sometimes we are going to think “bad” things, we are going to make judgments on ourselves or others, do things that we are going to regret. And all of that is okay. It is all part of our human experience and all part of our own personal journeys.

Boundaries and the Solar Plexus

I was looking for fences, and I found this stone fence sticking out from between two wood fences. When I took the picture I discovered the face... and contemplate more...

This is something that I have personally have a lot of trouble with, though I am far better now than I ever have been. It has taken a long time for

me to understand exactly what a boundary is, what it feels like (which is can be a necessity to me in understanding things fully) and how I encounter them.

When I left Winnipeg I recall Grams telling me that I have no boundaries. At the time I was slightly miffed to hear that, insulted even. Of course I had boundaries! Everyone has boundaries! That statement brought into my awareness boundaries and boundary setting and began my attempts of understanding what she was talking back.

Now I look back and I can see that I really didn’t have boundaries. I barely have boundaries today – though they are formulating and shaping themselves as I become more aware of what I want, like and need.

Not working the last few months I’ve floated along with life as everyone else – aka people who I love and are very close to me – deals with their busy schedules and lives. I’ve gotten bored, unmotivated, tired of working, and also found it very easy to schedule my activities around their lives.

So I’ve been around and very available.

My close friends have gotten used to me being available, and I love interacting with them. Lately, I’ve been highly motivated to finish up the projects that I’m working on by the end of March at the latest. This creates a crossroads for me – set my boundary and restrict my time with these people, or “float”.

Now they are the perfect people to practice setting boundaries with! Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but my successes are becoming greater than the fails. Here are some things that I noticed about boundaries as I contemplated them this past week.

I fear creating and setting boundaries. Deep down inside I am scared that if I set one the other person will never want to speak to me again. It’s unrealistic and not true. I counter this fear with the belief that people like people who have boundaries – it makes you less passive and people feel comfortable because decisions are made mutually by taking into account both people’s needs, wants and likes.

Boundaries require awareness of who I am in the physical. A lot of the cues that I get that a boundary is being violated by me or another person is given in my physical body. There’s an intuitive thought or “alarm” followed by dissociating from my body. As I practice staying in my body, it’s becoming more obvious to me when I’ve disassociated. At those times I need to reach back into my body and focus on my breath.

Energetically, boundaries have a lot to do with taking back my power and controlling my life. This stems from an imbalance in the Solar Plexus chakra or energy center (you can read a post on here on MommyMystics website about what the chakras are), and most likely accounts for the pains and shifts that occur in my digestive/solar plexus area.

This is also coincides with the guidance I’ve been feeling and receiving messages of: Its time to take the power back in my life, to stand up for what

Stepping up into my power.

my needs and wants are. By setting boundaries I take control of my life and what happens instead of passively letting the river take me wherever it wants to go. Now I see this and understand it.

When my boundaries are set and stay in place I feel centered and grounded. Overall generally more at ease with life and what is going on with me. I feel like myself, and in my body. My stress level remains low because I feel that I am accomplishing everything that I need and want to do, plus experiencing what I want out of life.

I’ve learned that when I have set healthy boundaries on an energetic level the world around me does not drive me half as crazy. By shielding (imagining I am in a bubble of sorts), sometimes in multiple layers and colors, I am able to enter a Future Shop without getting a headache within ten minutes, or go to Walmart without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer volume of energy.

With healthy boundaries I am able to speak with people inside and outside of sessions without taking on their energy, emotions or feelings. I can feel my little bubble reflecting off the little bullets of emotions and thoughts. This makes me feel good about myself, which in turn increases my self-esteem. Aha, I think I’m getting it now how self-esteem works and is created… A to-do list doesn’t cut it for me.

Now that I have identified what it feels like to have boundaries and what I feel like when I don’t, reflection brings forth the next question: How am I going to better implement healthy boundaries in my life, and step further into my power?

My answer at this point: Improve communication skills. Awareness. Practice. Your suggestions are welcome.

Communication

Peacock!!

Mike and I went to the park. There was a peacock. Random.

Hello!

Today I have some business updates, and a smaller article on communication for you. Skip down to the article by clicking here!

I am super excited to announce that as of April 1st I am working out of Simple Remedies here in Victoria! I’m renting a room on Wednesdays, and will happily book your appointment for Reiki! Shoot me an email or call me at 250-213-1252! 🙂

The room is not really set up for Card Readings. There is a small table that I can do a small reading on, however it is not yet the most comfortable set up so I may still need to find space for readings, especially for larger readings like the Year Circle Spread. I’d prefer to do that out of a store that sells metaphysical goods like Instinct or Avalon, so please let me know if you see anywhere that may be of interest. 🙂

I’m in the final stages of writing my business plan, which I plan to finish up by the end of this weekend – leaving only the Executive Summary to write. Next week I’ll be out and about checking out financing options at various places I’ve been hearing about including Community Microlending and Women’s Enterprise Center.

Now on to the Article!

Last year as my travels began I become more and more aware of how people communicate and the differences even in just provinces. My awareness extended to how I communicate with others, and how people feel about my style. Sometimes I might even catch a person “jumping” when I use certain words because of the harshness of that word.

Notably different here on the West Coast, especially Vancouver Island, is the softness in which people speak. Generally speaking, its soft tones with soft words with soft sentences. Its like people are composing a poem, yet its not quite a poem. Its feminine.

People in Winnipeg and Manitoba are much different in our mannerisms and the way we communicate. We are very straightforward and our language is harsher. I would say that it is a more masculine way of speaking.

This year I wanted to work on my communication skills, because I know that I have issues with communication sometimes. So I asked the Universe to teach me, and it brought me to Victoria BC. Now, I wasn’t expecting to move into an entire city that among many of it’s lessons for me would bring communication lessons, but it has.

At times it frustrates me. A lot.

What I’m finding is that I’m meeting many people who speak with soft tones, words and sentences. The language feels good. It sounds good. It’s fluttery and as beautiful as a butterfly. No matter what is said, how can I take offence?

Then I leave.

Confused. Usually very confused.

I have no idea what just happened except that I had a conversation with a person and now I’m very confused. Did we actually come to a conclusion on anything we spoke of? Are we actually going to meet again? Do they want to meet with me again? What is going on?

My emotional state during that conversation does not actually rise or fall. Their words have no effect on me either way. They are not particularly inspiring or uplifting even though they are soft. They don’t bring me down either. In short: This new language does nothing for me.

I understand that there is a belief that the words that you use attract things to you, as do thoughts based on their vibrations. The higher your word choices vibrate at naturally one would think that the quality of things/people you are attracting to you would be also vibrating at a higher rate. I don’t disagree with this. It is true. However, there is a WHOLE science and art form to this.

It goes beyond word choice.

Blooming into myself.

Many people don’t realize – as they’ve only been introduced to the very basic concepts of this art form through such places as The Secret, and through Abraham Hicks, that the Art of Manifestation has been studied for centuries and goes back thousands and thousands of years. It is an art that few have been able to master completely. It takes training of the mind, of the emotions, of every aspect of yourself.

Wording and the words you choose are important, but also are the emotions behind the words that are equally as important. Words are the messengers of the emotions that we feel. They are the way we express our feelings, wants and needs. They can take on our emotions and free them in a way that nothing else can. The emotion behind Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a Dream speech is what made his words so powerful and inspiring. It makes you want to listen to his words.

Many times I’ve not paid attention to my words, and not thought they were a big deal. I could simply tune into the feeling behind what the person is saying. That feeling is more important to me because it is the Truth behind the words. That feeling tells me what the person’s intent is. As I float through life, I see that words become so important because many people no longer have that ability to tune into these feelings. I believe that ability is a natural human birthright.

And when I am not in a state of clarity it is much harder for me to tune into the feeling fully, especially with the world moving so fast.

When I’m talking with a person, I want to leave that person feeling good about themselves, their worlds, their life, and the Universe. I want to inspire people to live better lives, and to see that there are truly good people. I want to show people the magic that is around us, always, just waiting to be seen. And I want people to experience what it is like to be loved, truly, wholey, and completely, with no expectations of them at all.

Yes, I have much to learn with communication. I am learning to choose my words better through listening to the people who live in Victoria. I am learning how to speak in a gentler way. I am learning what the strengths and weaknesses of masculine and feminine language are. The lessons of communication are abundant and intriguing. 

Now I must delve back into my latest book of reading choice, “Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion” by Marshall B. Rosenberg. There will be a book review on it in the near future!

Have an awesome day!

P.S. All pictures on today’s post were taken by Mike, and edited by me. Fun times!! 🙂

Twin Flames and Authentic Spirituality

This week was a rather slow week for me in the realm of doing things. I did a lot of thinking, and spent a lot of time formulating possible future plans for my business and where I would like it to go. Among a few key realizations I have a funny serious story to share with you! It’s kind of long, but I hope you enjoy it!

Inside this box that sits on my alter is two skeletons, together in love forever.

Last Thursday I had an Angel Card Reading that I had won. The reader was very good at what she does. It was an eye-opening experience for me. Before that reading I had always thought that my readings weren’t good enough, they weren’t as good as other peoples readings. It is definitely a line of thought that stems within my own family (the thought of not being good enough), and a thought pattern that is not helpful. After the reading I realized that my readings are just as good and as worthy as other people’s readings.

That was huge for me.

The reading was also a confirmation that I am on the “right” path. It also stewed up a bunch of stuff inside of me. She pulled the Twin Flame card. I tell you this because it directly relates to another knowing that completely formulated itself last night. Well, the Twin Flame card gets pulled, and she gets all excited, “You are going to meet your Twin Flame!”.

For those unfamilar with the term Twin Flame is considered the person to be your other half, the person who completes you, the ultimate partner. The connection is said to be very strong and fairly rare though more joinings are happening at this time more than any other time in history. It is said that when the Twin Flames join it is because they have a mission to accomplish on the planet for the good of all beings and it will be their last time reincarnated on this planet. There’s a lot of information on them on the web, my favorite piece on Twin Flames is the song Origin of Love by Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If your Twin Flame is not incarnate on the planet at the same time you are it, it is said that they are on the other side helping you as much as they can.

Back to the story! She’s excited, but when she see’s my face she realizes that I’m already in a partnership and her first question is: “Is he spiritual?”. My response is no.  She then tells me that I’m going to meet my Twin Flame in a little while from now, and it’s so exciting, she’s been trying to meet her Twin Flame for a while now, and blah blah blah. For myself this is not exciting. In fact, it makes me angry and very upset.

I had decided years ago that I don’t have a Twin Flame because I feel like the idea messes with the relationships that are in my life right now. My mind begins to try to decipher if the person I’m with is a Twin Flame, and if not, then I find myself distancing myself from the relationship. Thus I decided that my Twin Flame is not living on the planet, therefore I do not have to worry about meeting him! However in the last six months I’ve had a few different messages that a Twin Flame is coming. This reading was the final straw!

I wrote an angry letter to the my Twin Flame and his Guardians basically stating that if he comes into my  life it better be for good, because the term already messes with my head, and I won’t have that happening in the physical realm either. I “mailed” it to him by burning the letter, and after a minor freak-out made the decision that I would continue to believe I don’t have a Twin Flame incarnate on the planet at this time.

A flower I felted this week as I contemplated.

Why? Because I am an idealist. Because I believe that relationships with a significant other can provide huge learning opportunities, and can accelerate personal growth. Because I grew up with Disney movies, and a part of me wants to believe that a perfect knight armour is alive and meant just for me, all I have to do is wait for him. Because I choose to give myself entirely to the relationship that I have now, no question about it. I refuse to withhold any part of myself, “just in case”. Because my mind doesn’t need any fuel to screw me over.

As the week went I kept contemplating this. Something didn’t seem entirely right to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I began talking about this incident and some of my observations of men in my life. Something wasn’t sitting right with me. Then I spoke to the right person, one of my good friends. She said to me that my partner is spiritual, its just a different form of spirituality from what I’ve experienced. I didn’t get it. I spoke to Grams, and she said a similar thing. I still didn’t get it. But I kept trying!

And as I spoke to my best friend about it last night the realization occurred. People often in get lost in the doing of spirituality, the doing meditation, yoga, and other “spiritual” practices. Spirituality is not something that can be “done” but rather it is something that happens. It happens when a person knows themselves, is connected to themselves, and is therefore authentically them. A spiritual person is a person who is authentically being.

The practices themselves don’t really matter (they can be helpful), its the authenticity that the person operates from that does matter. Just because a person meditates, or does yoga, or any other “spiritual” practice it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are upholding stronger and clearer values than a person who doesn’t do any. I’ve definitely witnessed much of the opposite in my lifetime – people using those practices as an excuse to do what they want. This makes me happy because I no longer feel like I should be doing this or that. I feel like there is more acceptance in my heart now and more understanding.

And with that,

Have a great week!

P.S.

I became Food Safe Certified this week!! And a new business name is in the works! 🙂

Networking, Fear of Success, True Colours, and Muffins

Banana Nut Muffin

Ah, this week was a very busy week for me! It was filled with a personal learning curve, which definitely has effects my business.

One of my main concerns this week was muffin making! I have made an agreement to trade a gluten free sugar free and vegan muffin recipe for an Akashic Record consultation where I plan to get my business name from as I’m currently operating under none. After finding out that Victoria is the “City of Roses” my old name of Rose Tree Healing would get lost in all the rosey businesses. And it has no oomph to it. So lets see what Spirit has in store!

Thursday night I attended a YES mixer (Young Entrepreneur Society) with another participant in the Youth Means Business program and Mr. Business Coach. I really did not enjoy it, however I do not like crowds of people especially being in a crowd of people in a small confined space. I also dislike people I don’t know touching me which happened often, as it does in crowds, as people move around from one point to another. This mixer definitely took me out of my comfort zone. The other participant I went with seemed quite comfortable and the Mixer seemed profitable for him.

On Sunday, I had requested a friend of mine do some work on me. We focused on my Abundance issues and gleaning clarity on the underlying blockages to abundance. The session definitely met it’s goals of clarity around abundance.  Among a few issues that came up one really stood out to me, which I focused on this week: Fear of success.

At one point in time I had become aware of this fear within my consciousness but I had never done anything with it. It makes sense that it would be a contributing factor to the blockage of abundance, especially financially, that I have felt in my life.  I see that it would contribute to the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination. There are probably other habits or patterns that I am unaware of as well.

After the session and dragging my feet for Monday and Tuesday I said to myself  “Okay, you have to stop this Serafina. You have to deal with your fear and you know how to do it!” So, with much hesitation and crying (It was an emotional moment to possibly loose a long-time buddy, even if it’s for my own good!) I sat down and meditated on my fear.

I pictured him in front of me and asked him what lessons he had to teach me. And then I removed him from my life, and filled that area with white light. This was repeated until he said “You can only deal with me so much in this way, the rest must be dealt with in day to day life… Take care of yourself.”

I would like to share with you some of what he “said”:

“You can love yourself. It is a simple choice…. Self-love will make you radiate… Acknowledge that you are beautiful in the mirror everyday… Don’t be scared to give of yourself, for this is how you will make your biggest contributions to mankind, to humanity.”

On Wednesday I went to the True Colours Personality Workshop that Youth Means Business put on for program participants and I finally got to meet other women in the program! I also learned about the True Colours, which I think are a very simple and fun way to think about people. I’m blue. And my secondary colour is orange. What are you? The only free online quiz I could find for you is here.

My week was emotional. I felt a lot of things moving and shifting. Things that have been held in my body are releasing, and I feel some patterns and ways of thinking are being lifted. It is good!

Also, got a bike! And a helmet! Very excited! Went on my first bike ride and its perfect for my plan to get me into shape! A giant hill almost killed me! Lol. MUAHAHAHAHAA!

Have a great week!  🙂

Avocados, Tea, Crystals and Business

Fruit and KettleSunny days have arrived in Victoria!

Along with this my body has decided to lean heavily on the potato and avocado and mango fare. Avocados calm my stomach when it hurts I’ve discovered and I never knew mangoes went on sale this time of the year! Seriously! This is all I’ve been eating for the past two weeks. And lots of tea.

Its been highly difficult for me to stay grounded this past week as well. It’s never been my strong suit to be grounded but I think it might be all the meditations with crystals…

Life:

I’ve been practising a lot with the gemstones that I own. One of the things I would like to accomplish is personally connecting with each stone that I own to see what they bring to my life, and what else they would like to offer. For some reason, I have never really worked with stones in this aspect as I’ve always intuitively followed my guidance and it always matched what they wanted. Now I’m having conversations with the stones.

This week the stone of note is a mystery stone that has been travelling with me since I left Winterpeg! It is a small round purple stone, that most people I brought it to for identification thought was glass. With a suggestion from one of my friends, I place the stone with Angel Quartz, and boy, did he ever start talking loud and clear! He identifies himself as Purple Cat’s Eye.

Business:

This week I was working hard at my business, doing as much work as I could with my business plan for the Youth Means Business program. I was mainly focused on my product list. It was about Thursday that I began feeling overwhelmed at the actual amount of work it requires to complete a business plan. Even though I feel like I’ve done a lot, there still seems to be so much left to do.

Today I choose to relax. This morning I met with the business mentor and a few other participants to have a round-table discussion about our businesses and meet each other. I stated the (what I believe to be) seed, of my feeling of overwhelmed: the sheer variety of gem elixirs I can make!

I’m at seven pages…

Using the wise words of wisdom from Mr. Business Mentor, my product list will be done quite soon, even with the realization that I may have focused on the “wrong” things for what I need right now.

This week too, I’m going to start scoping locations to practice Reiki and Card Readings out of, so if you know of any possibilities that I may be interested in investigating, give me a shout!

And if your out and about this Sunday in Downtown Victoria, I’ll be working at the Dream Collective’s Market, located at the Well between 12 and 5 PM. Yay!


First New Moon of 2012

Victoria had snow! It was pretty awesome!  I thought it I might actually go through this winter without seeing any of the white fluffy stuff I’m so used to.  When I woke up and the streets were white I called my mom just to tell her that it snowed here. There was silence on the phone and then laughter. “Is that like the first time that’s happened this year or something?” Remember, she lives in Winterpeg.

Then two days later the snow is all gone! Mysteriously disappeared overnight leaving green grass behind! I was impressed.

I was pretty excited for this new moon, in fact, I was waiting for it. I have come to love doing a small ceremony with my bestie on Moon nights. My last great manifestation was a 2012 Agenda. Did I ever have plans for this night!

Among the usual things that I am manifesting, this night  included a business. Currently I am working on a business plan with Youth Means Business, a governmentally funded program to help me write a plan and to provide training so that my business might be successful. The business keeps forming, changing, growing, evolving as I work on the business plan. Now I am manifesting space for a storefront and to practice out of that is affordable. It’s in my manifestation box. *crosses fingers*

Since starting to do these moon ceremonies I have begun to notice when the energies shift between moons. Its a very subtle change of feeling in the air around me, and in the things that I personally am working on, and what comes into my life. I am also more aware of my personal cycles.

My first two gem elixirs were effective, and so I’ve created a third with ethereal crystals, an elixir to give more energy to people. It is soon to be tested, I will let you know on the results. I am excited to see if it works.

I decided too this  past week that I needed to change my ceiling. There is only so long that I can stand pale colours. I like strong vibrant colours that make a statement. “I AM PURPLE.” Not, “I… might… possibly… be purple… or an odd… off white…”.

It has been a dream of mine to have a room decorated in fabric, and now, my ceiling is draped with red, pink and orange fabrics. My room feels so much better and much more like “my” space than before. Life goal accomplished! *fist pump*

This Friday night I am going to be doing Reiki and card readings at a party in Downtown Victoria. It is my first time offering Reiki at a party; I am excited and curious about it with a small amount of nervousness. If you are in Victoria, you are now invited to come check it out at the Well. Click here for more details. 🙂