Tag Archives: communication

Boundaries and the Solar Plexus

I was looking for fences, and I found this stone fence sticking out from between two wood fences. When I took the picture I discovered the face... and contemplate more...

This is something that I have personally have a lot of trouble with, though I am far better now than I ever have been. It has taken a long time for

me to understand exactly what a boundary is, what it feels like (which is can be a necessity to me in understanding things fully) and how I encounter them.

When I left Winnipeg I recall Grams telling me that I have no boundaries. At the time I was slightly miffed to hear that, insulted even. Of course I had boundaries! Everyone has boundaries! That statement brought into my awareness boundaries and boundary setting and began my attempts of understanding what she was talking back.

Now I look back and I can see that I really didn’t have boundaries. I barely have boundaries today – though they are formulating and shaping themselves as I become more aware of what I want, like and need.

Not working the last few months I’ve floated along with life as everyone else – aka people who I love and are very close to me – deals with their busy schedules and lives. I’ve gotten bored, unmotivated, tired of working, and also found it very easy to schedule my activities around their lives.

So I’ve been around and very available.

My close friends have gotten used to me being available, and I love interacting with them. Lately, I’ve been highly motivated to finish up the projects that I’m working on by the end of March at the latest. This creates a crossroads for me – set my boundary and restrict my time with these people, or “float”.

Now they are the perfect people to practice setting boundaries with! Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but my successes are becoming greater than the fails. Here are some things that I noticed about boundaries as I contemplated them this past week.

I fear creating and setting boundaries. Deep down inside I am scared that if I set one the other person will never want to speak to me again. It’s unrealistic and not true. I counter this fear with the belief that people like people who have boundaries – it makes you less passive and people feel comfortable because decisions are made mutually by taking into account both people’s needs, wants and likes.

Boundaries require awareness of who I am in the physical. A lot of the cues that I get that a boundary is being violated by me or another person is given in my physical body. There’s an intuitive thought or “alarm” followed by dissociating from my body. As I practice staying in my body, it’s becoming more obvious to me when I’ve disassociated. At those times I need to reach back into my body and focus on my breath.

Energetically, boundaries have a lot to do with taking back my power and controlling my life. This stems from an imbalance in the Solar Plexus chakra or energy center (you can read a post on here on MommyMystics website about what the chakras are), and most likely accounts for the pains and shifts that occur in my digestive/solar plexus area.

This is also coincides with the guidance I’ve been feeling and receiving messages of: Its time to take the power back in my life, to stand up for what

Stepping up into my power.

my needs and wants are. By setting boundaries I take control of my life and what happens instead of passively letting the river take me wherever it wants to go. Now I see this and understand it.

When my boundaries are set and stay in place I feel centered and grounded. Overall generally more at ease with life and what is going on with me. I feel like myself, and in my body. My stress level remains low because I feel that I am accomplishing everything that I need and want to do, plus experiencing what I want out of life.

I’ve learned that when I have set healthy boundaries on an energetic level the world around me does not drive me half as crazy. By shielding (imagining I am in a bubble of sorts), sometimes in multiple layers and colors, I am able to enter a Future Shop without getting a headache within ten minutes, or go to Walmart without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer volume of energy.

With healthy boundaries I am able to speak with people inside and outside of sessions without taking on their energy, emotions or feelings. I can feel my little bubble reflecting off the little bullets of emotions and thoughts. This makes me feel good about myself, which in turn increases my self-esteem. Aha, I think I’m getting it now how self-esteem works and is created… A to-do list doesn’t cut it for me.

Now that I have identified what it feels like to have boundaries and what I feel like when I don’t, reflection brings forth the next question: How am I going to better implement healthy boundaries in my life, and step further into my power?

My answer at this point: Improve communication skills. Awareness. Practice. Your suggestions are welcome.

Communication

Peacock!!

Mike and I went to the park. There was a peacock. Random.

Hello!

Today I have some business updates, and a smaller article on communication for you. Skip down to the article by clicking here!

I am super excited to announce that as of April 1st I am working out of Simple Remedies here in Victoria! I’m renting a room on Wednesdays, and will happily book your appointment for Reiki! Shoot me an email or call me at 250-213-1252! 🙂

The room is not really set up for Card Readings. There is a small table that I can do a small reading on, however it is not yet the most comfortable set up so I may still need to find space for readings, especially for larger readings like the Year Circle Spread. I’d prefer to do that out of a store that sells metaphysical goods like Instinct or Avalon, so please let me know if you see anywhere that may be of interest. 🙂

I’m in the final stages of writing my business plan, which I plan to finish up by the end of this weekend – leaving only the Executive Summary to write. Next week I’ll be out and about checking out financing options at various places I’ve been hearing about including Community Microlending and Women’s Enterprise Center.

Now on to the Article!

Last year as my travels began I become more and more aware of how people communicate and the differences even in just provinces. My awareness extended to how I communicate with others, and how people feel about my style. Sometimes I might even catch a person “jumping” when I use certain words because of the harshness of that word.

Notably different here on the West Coast, especially Vancouver Island, is the softness in which people speak. Generally speaking, its soft tones with soft words with soft sentences. Its like people are composing a poem, yet its not quite a poem. Its feminine.

People in Winnipeg and Manitoba are much different in our mannerisms and the way we communicate. We are very straightforward and our language is harsher. I would say that it is a more masculine way of speaking.

This year I wanted to work on my communication skills, because I know that I have issues with communication sometimes. So I asked the Universe to teach me, and it brought me to Victoria BC. Now, I wasn’t expecting to move into an entire city that among many of it’s lessons for me would bring communication lessons, but it has.

At times it frustrates me. A lot.

What I’m finding is that I’m meeting many people who speak with soft tones, words and sentences. The language feels good. It sounds good. It’s fluttery and as beautiful as a butterfly. No matter what is said, how can I take offence?

Then I leave.

Confused. Usually very confused.

I have no idea what just happened except that I had a conversation with a person and now I’m very confused. Did we actually come to a conclusion on anything we spoke of? Are we actually going to meet again? Do they want to meet with me again? What is going on?

My emotional state during that conversation does not actually rise or fall. Their words have no effect on me either way. They are not particularly inspiring or uplifting even though they are soft. They don’t bring me down either. In short: This new language does nothing for me.

I understand that there is a belief that the words that you use attract things to you, as do thoughts based on their vibrations. The higher your word choices vibrate at naturally one would think that the quality of things/people you are attracting to you would be also vibrating at a higher rate. I don’t disagree with this. It is true. However, there is a WHOLE science and art form to this.

It goes beyond word choice.

Blooming into myself.

Many people don’t realize – as they’ve only been introduced to the very basic concepts of this art form through such places as The Secret, and through Abraham Hicks, that the Art of Manifestation has been studied for centuries and goes back thousands and thousands of years. It is an art that few have been able to master completely. It takes training of the mind, of the emotions, of every aspect of yourself.

Wording and the words you choose are important, but also are the emotions behind the words that are equally as important. Words are the messengers of the emotions that we feel. They are the way we express our feelings, wants and needs. They can take on our emotions and free them in a way that nothing else can. The emotion behind Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a Dream speech is what made his words so powerful and inspiring. It makes you want to listen to his words.

Many times I’ve not paid attention to my words, and not thought they were a big deal. I could simply tune into the feeling behind what the person is saying. That feeling is more important to me because it is the Truth behind the words. That feeling tells me what the person’s intent is. As I float through life, I see that words become so important because many people no longer have that ability to tune into these feelings. I believe that ability is a natural human birthright.

And when I am not in a state of clarity it is much harder for me to tune into the feeling fully, especially with the world moving so fast.

When I’m talking with a person, I want to leave that person feeling good about themselves, their worlds, their life, and the Universe. I want to inspire people to live better lives, and to see that there are truly good people. I want to show people the magic that is around us, always, just waiting to be seen. And I want people to experience what it is like to be loved, truly, wholey, and completely, with no expectations of them at all.

Yes, I have much to learn with communication. I am learning to choose my words better through listening to the people who live in Victoria. I am learning how to speak in a gentler way. I am learning what the strengths and weaknesses of masculine and feminine language are. The lessons of communication are abundant and intriguing. 

Now I must delve back into my latest book of reading choice, “Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion” by Marshall B. Rosenberg. There will be a book review on it in the near future!

Have an awesome day!

P.S. All pictures on today’s post were taken by Mike, and edited by me. Fun times!! 🙂