Tag Archives: emotions

When Your Angry Grab These Crystals!

Crystals to Help You Work with Anger

Anger is a complicated emotion in my experience. For a long time I really feared it, and I still do fear anger in others. My first desire when I experience anger in myself or others is to run for the hills until the storm passes. But that is not the best way to deal with anger. It must be experienced and respected for what it is. It is like any other emotion that comes and goes but for some reason is less accepted than other strong emotions humans experience in our day to day lives – happiness, sadness, depression, judgement.

This leaves many of us in an odd position of having anger and not knowing how to experience, release or express it in a healthy and positive way. Instead, many of us will bottle down the anger to explode at a later date. Or we will hide it carefully, deeply within us, carefully placing layers and layers on top of the feelings. Then there are those that let the anger flow right through them terrifying the rest of us!

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Working with Fire

I have used one of the most fiery stones to help me understand and experience anger in a positive way: Carnelian. Carnelian is a deep, passionate, strong stone that will bring your anger to the forefront so that you can experience it. It moves your anger so you can see it and know yourself at a deeper level. Carnelian and I worked together closely for my journey of releasing and learning about the anger I experience in my life. It gave me a courage I didn’t feel that I had, and soothed my fears around experiencing this emotion. It let me go deep and know that I wasn’t going to get lost in it.

Overwhelming Feelings

I remember when I was working through the deeply bottled anger I had collected throughout my life. I suddenly was experiencing bursts that would go through my whole body. My adrenaline would be activated, heat waves and tremors would shake my body, I could get so lost in how it felt that I could not speak it was such an overwhelming experience for me. And it often would come out of nowhere at the most random of times. Once I got used to it – I felt like a fireball for a few months becoming randomly angry at the smallest things – I learned how to experience anger with wisdom.

By this I mean I learned how to utilize it for what anger is good for – standing up for yourself. Making sure you and another person know when something has gone too far. Giving you strength and courage to stand up for what is right for not just yourself but others. I knew I had learned this when I got into a fight with an ex boyfriend of mine. We were having an argument on the phone when he said something that just made me furious. Beyond furious. I didn’t say a word. I hung up on him and hopped on my bike. He lived a ten minute bike ride away and I arrived still boiling. He had tried calling several times and I ignored all of them.

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Transmuting the Anger

Sugilite and Amethyst were other major minerals I used to help me in my process. Both of these crystals are noted as transmuters. What’s interesting is that Amethyst is resonant to and carries the Violet Flame of St. Germain. This is a major purifier of old and new energies that no longer serve us. It releases patterns we no longer need to keep replaying. Amethyst will help us find new ways of experiencing things and help establish new patterns within our life.

Sugilite is noted as a mineral that works directly with transmuting rage and anger. It is also noted, and I used it for this aspect, to work with the inner child. It gives an ease of access to the inner child and there were often times when my journey working specifically with anger that I would feel my inner child, and witness my inner child either screaming with rage or running away as fast as she could. My work with this mineral allowed me to tap into this aspect of self and even have conversations with her. It helped me to find healthy ways to shift my anger into something beautiful like artwork or writing.

Powerfully Using Anger

I very intentionally went up the stairs to his door, and knocked. He opened the door and didn’t know what to do. I stepped in, looked at him straight in the eyes, and said in a very low voice trembling with the anger I felt towards him, “If you ever say anything like that again to me, you will never see me again. You will never be allowed to speak with me. You will never know that I was in your life.”. Instead of running away from anger – both mine and his – I had gone directly into it. I had faced and experienced both mine and his.

Howilite

Eliminating Anger

Howlite is an amazing mineral that works to eliminate anger and rate. How does it do this? In my experience it is a purifier which is a little bit different than a transmuter. When you are wearing Howlite it is automatically “taking” it away from you very much like an air purifier. Howlite helps you to act in alignment with your highest self no matter what is going on around or inside of you. It able to help you keep clear sight and keep your centre and base your decisions on what is best for all involved.

Graduation

Ever since then I’ve been able to experience my anger and the anger of others with less fear. I still go on my tip-toes but I can stand it. Sometimes I feel like I am a wooden post withstanding the torrents of the ocean and rain. And it feels like a good thing.

In my experience of my own anger, a lot of it had to do with traumas I’ve experienced in life and with self-forgiveness. Along with carnelian, rose quartz was a constant companion. In fact I slept with a large rose quartz ball for almost two years! Rose quartz was very important to my journey because it is a crystal that helps to forgive oneself and others. It opens up the door to fall in love with yourself. It helps you come into your own love for life. And to release anything that gets in the way because you don’t need it!

Anger will tie up and block the heart chakra. Rose quartz will unknot it and take down the walls slowly and gently. You don’t need it. All we need is love.

Meditation Suggestions

Meditate with Carnelian, Howlite or Blue Kyanite. Blue Kyanite is often used to clear blockages inside the energetic system and can be used on any chakras though it is mostly resonant with the throat and heart in my experience. You can meditate with each stone individually by just holding it in your left hand if you wish, or you can meditate with all three stones. I am wary of all three stones because it feels like a very potent and powerful combination – the only “cooling” stone in the mix is Howlite. To meditate with all three place the stones in a grid around you or on you in key spots – put one mineral on your heart and hold the other two, etc.

To meditate with Sugilite and the only child I suggest you find somewhere comfortable. Tune into the crystal by focusing on how it feels wherever your holding it. Does it pulsate? Is it cold? Does it buzz? Then ask the mineral to help you speak with your inner child. Imagine yourself taking 21 steps towards your inner child. When you arrive on the 21st step imagine her/him waiting for you. Take note of the surroundings your inner child has put him/her in and approach him/her. At this point you can have a conversation with your inner child and when you wish to leave you can take the 21 steps “out” and come back to your body.

If you do a laying of hands crystal session on yourself or another you may wish to place blue kyanite on the heart/solar plexus, rose quartz on the heart, Larimar on the throat, moss agate on your root. Moss agate and Larimar are calming agents. They slowly clean and clear and connect you deeply to nature. They help to gently heal traumas and hurting hearts.

The Truth About the Tucson Gem Show | A Journal Post

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~ Sunburnt and High on Life ~

This past February I went to the Tucson Gem Show for the first time ever in my life.

And it was great.

It was beyond great. It was one of the best things I’ve done thus far in my life.

I learned a lot, connected with many in new and interesting ways, I began my journey as a buyer and seller of minerals. I felt my soul melt and come back alive again. I felt at home and understood in a way that I feel rarely understood where I am not.

And its not that I am not surrounded by amazing people. I am. All the time.

This was something different. For a week and a half I was on a high. I was doing all the things that I love and none of the things I dread doing in the sunny desert of Arizona. The weather lifted my moods much in the same way cloudy Vancouver can lower them. I found myself going fast with people I love whom I felt so at home with.

Landing in Vancouver afterwards was a shock to my system. I was exhausted, sun tanned and quite happily sick. Mission accomplished. Sitting on the skytrain to the current housesit I felt a blast of energy go through my body. I didn’t know what it was, and I still don’t know what it was, but when it hit me I couldn’t stop crying.

Homesickness struck me. Not for my Blood Family or where I grew up. I wasn’t craving the Islands, or the friends I have there, in Winnipeg, or in other areas of Canada. I was craving the family I felt I had left in the States, at the Gem Show. I was craving the sense of home I had this previous summer in San Francisco, the first city I have fallen in love with and written love letters to and all the people in that area I felt so at home with.

I realized with a force where my home is – an intention I had set almost one year ago.

Then I couldn’t stop crying for a good nine days.

It was as if each session of tears let something fall away. For those nine days my body was racked with emotional turmoil of mainly fear. The fear showed up in different ways with many different stories and versions of the fears that came up for me. I witnessed myself and creating stress as I dealt with finding a new place to live, receiving the minerals from the States, and money.

My emotions on a daily basis would swing within hours from regret to anger to low self-esteem to grief to straight up fear. Stories went on in my head as I contracted from the world, and decided to do what I needed to do and nothing more than that until my emotions stopped spinning me around in whatever transition or transformation this was.

As I came out of the experience I began to feel my cheery self coming a live again and able to be more fully present. I have slowly, day by day, felt much more able to handle the world and physicality again. I feel like I can be okay with the unknown – and there are so many unknowns and probabilities. I feel like I can be okay with the waxing and waning of life again. I feel like I can stand strong on my feet again.

Words haunt me from the mouths of others as I exit this process, whatever that was: You are beautiful. You are a Goddess. You are intimidating. You are powerful.

I practice now to feel my power, feel my aura, feel my impact on others. The better I can feel it the more awareness and consciousness I can bring to my interactions with others. I’ve only glimpsed my power twice in my life, stories for another day, and now I want to humbly know it so I can use it better to serve each person I encounter in my life.

My own words haunt me, the words I said to perhaps one or two good friends of mine: “I feel like when I come back from Tucson my whole life is going to be at a different frequency. Everything is going to shift and change.”

And it is. Fast. I witness the changes within myself, a gentle smile on my face in the most mundane moments of life, and feel so blessed to be where I am doing what I am.

There are many factors to the changes I see in me and one of them is the Kundalini Yoga course I’ve been doing since October. It has truly been transformational. I am honored and humble at the power of this technology, this world, the power of being a soul in a human being, and with just… everything in this moment and the last few days. I find myself spending more and more moments in that space – shifting, twirling, moving between human and soul and the many faces of each. <3

Boundaries and the Solar Plexus

I was looking for fences, and I found this stone fence sticking out from between two wood fences. When I took the picture I discovered the face... and contemplate more...

This is something that I have personally have a lot of trouble with, though I am far better now than I ever have been. It has taken a long time for

me to understand exactly what a boundary is, what it feels like (which is can be a necessity to me in understanding things fully) and how I encounter them.

When I left Winnipeg I recall Grams telling me that I have no boundaries. At the time I was slightly miffed to hear that, insulted even. Of course I had boundaries! Everyone has boundaries! That statement brought into my awareness boundaries and boundary setting and began my attempts of understanding what she was talking back.

Now I look back and I can see that I really didn’t have boundaries. I barely have boundaries today – though they are formulating and shaping themselves as I become more aware of what I want, like and need.

Not working the last few months I’ve floated along with life as everyone else – aka people who I love and are very close to me – deals with their busy schedules and lives. I’ve gotten bored, unmotivated, tired of working, and also found it very easy to schedule my activities around their lives.

So I’ve been around and very available.

My close friends have gotten used to me being available, and I love interacting with them. Lately, I’ve been highly motivated to finish up the projects that I’m working on by the end of March at the latest. This creates a crossroads for me – set my boundary and restrict my time with these people, or “float”.

Now they are the perfect people to practice setting boundaries with! Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but my successes are becoming greater than the fails. Here are some things that I noticed about boundaries as I contemplated them this past week.

I fear creating and setting boundaries. Deep down inside I am scared that if I set one the other person will never want to speak to me again. It’s unrealistic and not true. I counter this fear with the belief that people like people who have boundaries – it makes you less passive and people feel comfortable because decisions are made mutually by taking into account both people’s needs, wants and likes.

Boundaries require awareness of who I am in the physical. A lot of the cues that I get that a boundary is being violated by me or another person is given in my physical body. There’s an intuitive thought or “alarm” followed by dissociating from my body. As I practice staying in my body, it’s becoming more obvious to me when I’ve disassociated. At those times I need to reach back into my body and focus on my breath.

Energetically, boundaries have a lot to do with taking back my power and controlling my life. This stems from an imbalance in the Solar Plexus chakra or energy center (you can read a post on here on MommyMystics website about what the chakras are), and most likely accounts for the pains and shifts that occur in my digestive/solar plexus area.

This is also coincides with the guidance I’ve been feeling and receiving messages of: Its time to take the power back in my life, to stand up for what

Stepping up into my power.

my needs and wants are. By setting boundaries I take control of my life and what happens instead of passively letting the river take me wherever it wants to go. Now I see this and understand it.

When my boundaries are set and stay in place I feel centered and grounded. Overall generally more at ease with life and what is going on with me. I feel like myself, and in my body. My stress level remains low because I feel that I am accomplishing everything that I need and want to do, plus experiencing what I want out of life.

I’ve learned that when I have set healthy boundaries on an energetic level the world around me does not drive me half as crazy. By shielding (imagining I am in a bubble of sorts), sometimes in multiple layers and colors, I am able to enter a Future Shop without getting a headache within ten minutes, or go to Walmart without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer volume of energy.

With healthy boundaries I am able to speak with people inside and outside of sessions without taking on their energy, emotions or feelings. I can feel my little bubble reflecting off the little bullets of emotions and thoughts. This makes me feel good about myself, which in turn increases my self-esteem. Aha, I think I’m getting it now how self-esteem works and is created… A to-do list doesn’t cut it for me.

Now that I have identified what it feels like to have boundaries and what I feel like when I don’t, reflection brings forth the next question: How am I going to better implement healthy boundaries in my life, and step further into my power?

My answer at this point: Improve communication skills. Awareness. Practice. Your suggestions are welcome.