Monthly Archives: August 2012

Jumping to the Future!

Really, sometimes, I wish I could tell you what the future is. Other times I am really glad that I can’t because then there would be no amazing surprises or dastardly mistakes that make me laugh with joy. Those things can only happen when life is being spontaneously lived, and I never want to give them up.

Today’s blog post is actually about a thing I do that is really annoying (to me). It’s this thing where I try to see my whole future, and jump conclusions about how its going to feel and turn out. One of my friends calls it “jumping”. I think that’s a good name for this thought pattern that often stops me from doing what I desire.

What happens often when I jump is that I will get stuck on just one aspect of what I’m jumping about. The ability to see the bigger picture is not utilized and the decision I make is no longer objective because I’ve based it on what I’ve jumped to in my mind. Often, this has kept me paralyzed and I’ve not done what I want to do because of the made up consequences that were created in my mind. Most of the time those consequences did not actually happen, or life changed so much by that time that they didn’t matter anymore.

I have a most perfect example for you this week because my tendency to jump came up again in the one area of my life that I experience much turmoil. Though I’ve practiced relaxing in most areas of my life previous to the following conversation I was totally unaware that I was jumping…

I’ve gone back and forth for years on the education that I would like to pursue. I have an avoidance of University for a myriad of reasons that don’t need to be listed today, and so I’ve tried to think up and take “short-cuts”. As much as I dislike University I’ve resigned myself to attend in the coming year.

After much research and synchronicity I’ve decided I’d like to receive training as a counsellor.

Because when I grow up I want to be a Spiritual Counselor. YAY! Can’t wait for my first day!

Here is where I jump: from my research most jobs in this field require at minimum a Master’s degree. That translates into six years of school. I cannot STAND the thought of being tied down anywhere for six years. That just freaks me out. To me, it seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!

*dramatically dies*

My friend whom I told this too started laughing.

“What?” I asked, tears in my eyes.

“Why don’t you just think about it in smaller chunks? One semester at a time rather than six years. It’s a lot more manageable that way.”

I thought about it for a minute, and began thinking about one semester. My body instantly relaxed. Then I thought about six years, and hew boy, my body tensed up. Back to one semester.

“I can do that.”

I love this! In that moment I realized that breaking things down into manageable tasks is a much more efficient way of thinking about my life. It makes everything a lot more feasible and not as scary in the long run. Life always is changing, and for all I know I might only go for one semester because some amazing once in a lifetime opportunity comes up and I choose to take that instead of continuing my studies. Perhaps I move to Australia, and continue studying there. Who knows?

The thing is, that too, is jumping into the future. There are things that I’ve not done or procrastinated because of the “What if’s” and there are things that I have jumped into without much thought. It takes a lot of practice for me to get it in the middle of not thinking too much which usually leads me to jumping, and of thinking too little which usually means I take on way more than I can handle.

In one year so much can change. It is much more helpful for me to stay in the present moment with tentative plans then it is for me to jump six years into the future and think about all that I might miss out on. By staying in the present more it is easier for me to take advantage of the opportunities that do come my way, and to follow my intuition to take the opportunities that are right for me.

A few years ago when asked what I was going to do for the next couple of years. I would answer “Right now, I am doing this. In the next month I do this, and in the month after I will do this. After that, I have no idea.”

I liked that. It kept my life open. I didn’t have the weight of commitments holding me down past where I could handle, which at that time was three months. At the same time it wasn’t necessarily the most healthy thing. I didn’t want to give commitments that were longer than a three-month span because of what might happen.

This held me back from anything I wasn’t one hundred percent gung-ho. I didn’t think of things as a pros and cons list, but instead as a feeling. If it felt right I would take the opportunity and go for it. I fought hard to be able to have the choice of following my feelings. As much as I would like to take every opportunity, I have learned not every opportunity needs to be taken. I can choose the ones that will serve me best and teach me what I desire.

University does not feel all the way right. I have concerns about it however, careful thought and consideration conclude that it is wise to keep my options open and if lacking a degree is keeping me back it would be a good idea to do something to remedy the situation…

Let’s re-frame the following:

The thoughts “To me that seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!” are examples of thinking called “All or Nothing Thinking” and “Over-generalization” and “Jumping to Conclusions – Fortune Telling” in Cognitive Behavior Therapy according to the class I’m attending at Bridges for Women. This thinking is a distorted way of viewing the world, and in my example I do indeed have a view that does not serve me well.

Let us re-frame the thoughts: Six years is not an entire lifetime, in reality it will go quite fast (it’s already been five years since I graduated high school). I will be quite busy in University. Many students transfer schools, go away for trips, and have many more amazing experiences while they are in school. Students begin and leave, they begin and stay. Life changes, school changes, location changes. It all can happen. If I don’t like it or it feels wrong I can always leave; there are many options available for my education, even within the University system.

That sounds much better.

Stayed tuned for next weeks super juicy blog post on Crooked Thinking & Limiting Beliefs! 🙂

Late New Moon Post!

Ah! Apologies for the late blog post this week! I would say that it won’t happen again, but it very well might.

You see, this week I’ve realized that I have a ton of projects on the go, none of which are close to completion. The pile keeps getting added to while I’m feeling the importance of writing for this blog, my own novel and content for the Willows Lavender newsletter (still awaiting its first edition).

I decided this week to re-prioritize everything that I’m doing. I’m feeling a pull to complete a few things that have been lagging for the past few months. So, the blog post is late because I started maybe five of them, but none of them have sufficient quality content that I would be happy to post due to the lack of contemplation.

Thus, I’ve decided to write a short blog post in honor of this past weekends New Moon!

I have come to love the passing of the New and Full moons because they signify a passage of time that is natural and inherent to our own bodies passage of time. Since being a child I’ve often wondered what it was like to live in a time where the only time keepers were the sun and the moon instead of the artificial time that we race around to now. Instinctively it feels that to me we would all be much more relaxed, and our bodies would function better.

Never did I guess that by simply acknowledging the passage of the Moons with ceremony that my body would adjust itself to the natural cycle of the moon.

I’ve recorded for the last four months that my period ends the day the New Moon begins. Last year at this time, my cycle was irregular and I could only guess when my flow would start. Now I know exactly when it will start. It has stayed regular throughout all of the changes and stress in my life over the past four months which is amazing to me.

Just before the New Moon I will feel quite tired, and things that need to end will be ended that week. My understanding of this is that in a new cycle energies that are no longer serving me don’t need to be in the new. It might screw up the manifestation power of the New Moon if old energies join new!

On the day of my ceremony for the New Moon I will write down all the new things I want to invite into my life, and look over the things that I’ve asked for the last New Moons. Gratitude hits me with each stroke of my pen that crosses off the things that have manifest for me, the wishes that have come true, the wishes that came true but weren’t quite right, and the knowledge that my wishes will come true.

Each night I find myself out and about I catch myself looking for the moon in the sky and breathing in the sweet and fresh air – its a moment to pause everything and give respect to the power that nature still holds over us even in the city. With each passing I find myself being more and more drawn to join the nature that surrounds me.

I think nature is growing on me… I was thinking of going camping soon…

Purity of Thought

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about purity of thought and the power behind it. So voila! Here are some thoughts I’ve been working on for a little while. Enjoy!

Many great teachers have mentioned and taught many times over that purity of thought is a huge component in manifesting ascension for ourselves. They all teach different ways that can help one to achieve the level of purity that is required: thinking positive thoughts, replacing all thoughts with positive ones, mantras, meditation practices, prayer, breathing to mention a few common techniques.

What is purity of thought?

I believe it is the emotional and mental state (thereby physical and spiritual states too) where we are ourselves, one hundred percent pure. In this state we have no fear, sadness, pain, happiness or joy. It is not to say that we do not experience emotion, but rather our emotions do not control us. They don’t bring us into the past or into the future. We are in the moment as each moment happens.

In this state we have no pre-programmed beliefs or systems running through us at all. Other people’s ideas and thoughts from our parents to our society’s no longer exist within us, and we have nothing to truly “process” or “figure out”. It all is, and we are able to see and know in the fullest sense of Truth. We have entered the No-Mind of Zen and Nirvana of Buddhism.

It is also when we are in this completely pure state that our subconscious is in total alignment with our consciousness, and that means we step into full consciousness, full awareness of our power. That is when we have one hundred percent control of our body and we can heal any part of ourselves effortlessly. It is when we are able to reprogram our minds, bodies, and spirit in an instant because we are no longer a slave to the mind or the emotional body. This is sometimes called the state of the Ascended Masters and other enlightened beings.

I believe it is our true state, and we’ve simply forgotten what our true state is. Aka. YES! I’M A SUPERHERO IN DISGUISE!!! 😀

And so are you.

How do we attain purity of thought?

This process is going to be different for each person because we are all unique individuals with so many variables affecting each of us.

Because we are all so unique no one says that you need to be a new age spiritual junkie to attain purity of thought. I personally believe that many people who work close with nature like a survivalist, and all of the people we have seen YouTube videos about as they play with ‘wild animals’ such as lions or crocodiles have somehow attained a purity of thought that is rare in our current society. Perhaps you can attain it with food?

For me, right now it will come through my practices that are largely a mix-mash of many different traditions and the focus of this particular article is written with that focus and influence.

And I believe all of the ways that the great spiritual teachers teach us are all equally valid. Perhaps one of the best ways of reaching purity of thought is using each practice, or devising our own, as it fits most naturally in our lives.

If we were to do all of the most common spiritual practices our life might look something like:

  • Wake up
  • Meditate in whichever form you are inspired to (minimum 1 hour)
  • Yoga
  • Visit nature to maintain a strong connection to the planet (and its grounding)
  • Pray
  • Practice gratitude
  • Constant watching of thought and reprogramming thought patterns as much as possible (tireless work)

When do you actually go to work?

Purity of Thought in Practice

It seems like a lot, and it is. It gets easier for all of us as more people do the work to create larger paths for others to follow. It also gets easier with practice because it turns into a lifestyle that naturally benefits you. I know from my personal experience that tenacious dedication to my spiritual practices at first were essential in turning spirituality into a natural lifestyle. Even though there was a lot of work involved I noticed a general improvement over my entire well-being and flow to my life.

I’ve also noticed that many practices have become so well ingrained with my life after years of practice that I am no longer able to separate the spiritual part of myself from the rest of me. It would take conscious effort on my part to stop doing spiritual practices because I have such a strong habit of praying when I’m walking, practicing mindfulness whenever I remember, and watching my thoughts.

I am still far from perfect though and often  I resist flowing into a more dedicated practice in my life. I say, “I’m too busy” to meditated everyday. That is an excuse, I know. Often when I experience resistance to my practice and so slowly I let it decline into something (for me) that’s non-existent. This resistance comes most often from fear. This was the fear that Marianne Williamson so famously speaks about in the following words:

“it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Any practice, spiritual or not, that brings us closer to our true selves, our Divinity, helps our light shine brighter and our power to grow.

Results of Purity of Thought

In our society purity of thought separates us from the norm, our light and power separates us from everyone else. (Spiderman anyone? Batman? Cat Woman? X-Men? Maybe they aren’t all light, but they definitely have power and they are definitely separate from the norm…)

The stronger our light shines, the greater the degree of difference we feel from more people. We no longer resonate with them. We are there to help and share our wisdom and talents but the actual amount of people that we can be true friends or lovers with gets smaller and smaller and smaller the purer our thought becomes. Unless we show everyone how easy it is to be a superhero! 😛

To have purity of thought defines you as someone different from everyone else. Purity of thought brings forth the impossible into everyday lives, and when it is strong, can show what is actually possible as a human being. People who pursue this purity will learn that their lives are very different from the norm, and it will in a sense alienate them from the majority. But they will be the most courageous, brilliant, ingenious, beautiful and radiant human beings we will ever see and know.

 My Conclusion

Therefore, I accept the challenge to manifest purity of thought in my own mind. Because I’m done being scared of who I truly am. Because I am going to take control and take responsibility for everything in my life so that I can create exactly what I desire in my life. So each day I will learn my lessons as best I can, and learn more about how I can shine, practicing releasing all that holds me back. Because I really love the thought that I’M A SUPERHERO!

What do you say? Will you join me in uncovering your inner superhero? Perhaps your path is not one of meditation. What path do you choose, and what path works for you?

I’m excited to hear about your adventures! 🙂

P.S.

This article turned out to be five-page long essay, so this blog post is a much shortened version of that. 🙂

Space to Breathe, Fear and Writing Again!

Recently I came into conscious awareness that I had set up my life in such a way that there was no longer anyone breathing down my back telling me what to do. There was no “shoulds”, there were no “needs” just simply “What do you desire?”. It was a really strange and positive realization that makes me want to jump up and down with joy!

For so long I have “worked” (if you can call life work) to put myself in a safe space where I can truly be me and learn about me without major interference. I felt that there was all of this space around me, space where I could breathe and relax while making my decisions. My close friends that I asked what I should do didn’t tell me what I should do. They listened and all told me the same thing “follow your heart, follow your intuition.”

Who knew that this would be one of the scariest things for me? Ironic in a sense because last year coming to BC I jumped to follow my heart and dreams. Right now I don’t feel the Universe is being as clear to me about what it is that I need to do right now though in reality, its me not being able to pick up or hear the answers that the Universe is giving me.

Several things came along with this realization though – things that needed to be looked at closer before a major celebration took place. The feeling that I could breathe and the sense of freedom to make my own choices was a very odd and new sensation that scared me.

It means that I am one hundred percent responsible for the choices that I make now. It means that I no longer have to run because I no longer have anything to escape from. When I do something that I don’t like it is all on me and I need to own all of my stuff. It means that I have the opportunity to step fully into my power and radiance a little bit more than before.

All of this came at once, subconsciously, and it came as an onslaught of internal fear that was nameless, faceless yet overwhelming and heavy. It would rise up inside of me and my only response would be to curl into a heaving ball of tears for a good fifteen or twenty minutes at a time with my body trembling. This went on for a good week and a half at least, and only now am I coming to realize exactly what was happening.

Now I see this fear is a conglomerate of many fears – the unknown, taking full responsibility for my life, not making the “right choice”, judgments from others and therefore myself, stepping into my own power and radiance.

All of these fears made me want to run away and escape from everything. From my perspective during those days it was the outside world causing all this fear to come up in me, and that I must not be in the right spot at all. Now I know it was all internal.

For most of my years living on this Earth I was always hatching escape plans. I have journals filled with them, and all the calculations to go along with them from how much a bus ticket would cost me to the destination I wanted most and how I would earn that money.

I’ve learned this last year I was doing a lot of running away. I now know that my subconscious has been trained over the years to do precisely that! And its not a bad thing. But it is no longer necessary because I’ve chosen to surround myself with good people, and I’ve chosen to live my life a way that feels most right to me.

This running away reflex was first brought to my attention through a conversation with a good friend of mine, who brought it up. At that moment I had to agree with his points, and I promised myself that I would watch out for this pattern in all parts of my life. I made a deal with myself, that if I started talking about leaving this place I would force myself to wait until I knew with absolute certainty what I was doing. And it worked! So it seems.

I know that it will take time to reprogram my subconscious completely from this tendency, but I know too that I can and will do it.

Now I find myself in a space that is much safer and more stable than where I have been for the last month and not nearly as chaotic for the last several months. Gradually I have been able to calm down enough to come to these learnings about myself.

And I feel ready to write again.

P.S.

Since “settling” into this temporary yet stable place I’ve pulled certain cards from my deck The Ascended Masters that I’d like to share with you, if you are interested.

Major Card: “New Beginnings” which I interpret as follows for me: You are currently in a very special spot of your life where anything can happen that you desire. It is time to let the new energy coming into your being and to release all of the old stuff. Let your life be new, and create what you want most in it. Take time to figure out just what it is that you want.

Major Card: “Write”: TA-DA!

Major Card: “Artistic Expression”: Connected with writing, it is through artistic expression of your choice that you learn so much more about yourself and your desires. You are able to discover many things and make sense of the world more and more through this process.

Major Card: “Open Your Heart to Giving and Receiving Love”: This is something that I’ve been frequently reminded of over the last week, and I don’t like it. It brings me too close to too many people. At the same time I know its necessary and this card comes as a reminder to breathe, and open up to all the love my tiny universe has to offer. After all, people are the bread and butter of life, and everything else is extra. Encouragement to dive into the community and be myself.