Author Archives: serafinachristine

Jumping to the Future!

Really, sometimes, I wish I could tell you what the future is. Other times I am really glad that I can’t because then there would be no amazing surprises or dastardly mistakes that make me laugh with joy. Those things can only happen when life is being spontaneously lived, and I never want to give them up.

Today’s blog post is actually about a thing I do that is really annoying (to me). It’s this thing where I try to see my whole future, and jump conclusions about how its going to feel and turn out. One of my friends calls it “jumping”. I think that’s a good name for this thought pattern that often stops me from doing what I desire.

What happens often when I jump is that I will get stuck on just one aspect of what I’m jumping about. The ability to see the bigger picture is not utilized and the decision I make is no longer objective because I’ve based it on what I’ve jumped to in my mind. Often, this has kept me paralyzed and I’ve not done what I want to do because of the made up consequences that were created in my mind. Most of the time those consequences did not actually happen, or life changed so much by that time that they didn’t matter anymore.

I have a most perfect example for you this week because my tendency to jump came up again in the one area of my life that I experience much turmoil. Though I’ve practiced relaxing in most areas of my life previous to the following conversation I was totally unaware that I was jumping…

I’ve gone back and forth for years on the education that I would like to pursue. I have an avoidance of University for a myriad of reasons that don’t need to be listed today, and so I’ve tried to think up and take “short-cuts”. As much as I dislike University I’ve resigned myself to attend in the coming year.

After much research and synchronicity I’ve decided I’d like to receive training as a counsellor.

Because when I grow up I want to be a Spiritual Counselor. YAY! Can’t wait for my first day!

Here is where I jump: from my research most jobs in this field require at minimum a Master’s degree. That translates into six years of school. I cannot STAND the thought of being tied down anywhere for six years. That just freaks me out. To me, it seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!

*dramatically dies*

My friend whom I told this too started laughing.

“What?” I asked, tears in my eyes.

“Why don’t you just think about it in smaller chunks? One semester at a time rather than six years. It’s a lot more manageable that way.”

I thought about it for a minute, and began thinking about one semester. My body instantly relaxed. Then I thought about six years, and hew boy, my body tensed up. Back to one semester.

“I can do that.”

I love this! In that moment I realized that breaking things down into manageable tasks is a much more efficient way of thinking about my life. It makes everything a lot more feasible and not as scary in the long run. Life always is changing, and for all I know I might only go for one semester because some amazing once in a lifetime opportunity comes up and I choose to take that instead of continuing my studies. Perhaps I move to Australia, and continue studying there. Who knows?

The thing is, that too, is jumping into the future. There are things that I’ve not done or procrastinated because of the “What if’s” and there are things that I have jumped into without much thought. It takes a lot of practice for me to get it in the middle of not thinking too much which usually leads me to jumping, and of thinking too little which usually means I take on way more than I can handle.

In one year so much can change. It is much more helpful for me to stay in the present moment with tentative plans then it is for me to jump six years into the future and think about all that I might miss out on. By staying in the present more it is easier for me to take advantage of the opportunities that do come my way, and to follow my intuition to take the opportunities that are right for me.

A few years ago when asked what I was going to do for the next couple of years. I would answer “Right now, I am doing this. In the next month I do this, and in the month after I will do this. After that, I have no idea.”

I liked that. It kept my life open. I didn’t have the weight of commitments holding me down past where I could handle, which at that time was three months. At the same time it wasn’t necessarily the most healthy thing. I didn’t want to give commitments that were longer than a three-month span because of what might happen.

This held me back from anything I wasn’t one hundred percent gung-ho. I didn’t think of things as a pros and cons list, but instead as a feeling. If it felt right I would take the opportunity and go for it. I fought hard to be able to have the choice of following my feelings. As much as I would like to take every opportunity, I have learned not every opportunity needs to be taken. I can choose the ones that will serve me best and teach me what I desire.

University does not feel all the way right. I have concerns about it however, careful thought and consideration conclude that it is wise to keep my options open and if lacking a degree is keeping me back it would be a good idea to do something to remedy the situation…

Let’s re-frame the following:

The thoughts “To me that seems like an entire lifetime! My freedom will be compromised by my commitment of six years, and I will not be able to do anything that I want!” are examples of thinking called “All or Nothing Thinking” and “Over-generalization” and “Jumping to Conclusions – Fortune Telling” in Cognitive Behavior Therapy according to the class I’m attending at Bridges for Women. This thinking is a distorted way of viewing the world, and in my example I do indeed have a view that does not serve me well.

Let us re-frame the thoughts: Six years is not an entire lifetime, in reality it will go quite fast (it’s already been five years since I graduated high school). I will be quite busy in University. Many students transfer schools, go away for trips, and have many more amazing experiences while they are in school. Students begin and leave, they begin and stay. Life changes, school changes, location changes. It all can happen. If I don’t like it or it feels wrong I can always leave; there are many options available for my education, even within the University system.

That sounds much better.

Stayed tuned for next weeks super juicy blog post on Crooked Thinking & Limiting Beliefs! 🙂

Late New Moon Post!

Ah! Apologies for the late blog post this week! I would say that it won’t happen again, but it very well might.

You see, this week I’ve realized that I have a ton of projects on the go, none of which are close to completion. The pile keeps getting added to while I’m feeling the importance of writing for this blog, my own novel and content for the Willows Lavender newsletter (still awaiting its first edition).

I decided this week to re-prioritize everything that I’m doing. I’m feeling a pull to complete a few things that have been lagging for the past few months. So, the blog post is late because I started maybe five of them, but none of them have sufficient quality content that I would be happy to post due to the lack of contemplation.

Thus, I’ve decided to write a short blog post in honor of this past weekends New Moon!

I have come to love the passing of the New and Full moons because they signify a passage of time that is natural and inherent to our own bodies passage of time. Since being a child I’ve often wondered what it was like to live in a time where the only time keepers were the sun and the moon instead of the artificial time that we race around to now. Instinctively it feels that to me we would all be much more relaxed, and our bodies would function better.

Never did I guess that by simply acknowledging the passage of the Moons with ceremony that my body would adjust itself to the natural cycle of the moon.

I’ve recorded for the last four months that my period ends the day the New Moon begins. Last year at this time, my cycle was irregular and I could only guess when my flow would start. Now I know exactly when it will start. It has stayed regular throughout all of the changes and stress in my life over the past four months which is amazing to me.

Just before the New Moon I will feel quite tired, and things that need to end will be ended that week. My understanding of this is that in a new cycle energies that are no longer serving me don’t need to be in the new. It might screw up the manifestation power of the New Moon if old energies join new!

On the day of my ceremony for the New Moon I will write down all the new things I want to invite into my life, and look over the things that I’ve asked for the last New Moons. Gratitude hits me with each stroke of my pen that crosses off the things that have manifest for me, the wishes that have come true, the wishes that came true but weren’t quite right, and the knowledge that my wishes will come true.

Each night I find myself out and about I catch myself looking for the moon in the sky and breathing in the sweet and fresh air – its a moment to pause everything and give respect to the power that nature still holds over us even in the city. With each passing I find myself being more and more drawn to join the nature that surrounds me.

I think nature is growing on me… I was thinking of going camping soon…

Purity of Thought

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about purity of thought and the power behind it. So voila! Here are some thoughts I’ve been working on for a little while. Enjoy!

Many great teachers have mentioned and taught many times over that purity of thought is a huge component in manifesting ascension for ourselves. They all teach different ways that can help one to achieve the level of purity that is required: thinking positive thoughts, replacing all thoughts with positive ones, mantras, meditation practices, prayer, breathing to mention a few common techniques.

What is purity of thought?

I believe it is the emotional and mental state (thereby physical and spiritual states too) where we are ourselves, one hundred percent pure. In this state we have no fear, sadness, pain, happiness or joy. It is not to say that we do not experience emotion, but rather our emotions do not control us. They don’t bring us into the past or into the future. We are in the moment as each moment happens.

In this state we have no pre-programmed beliefs or systems running through us at all. Other people’s ideas and thoughts from our parents to our society’s no longer exist within us, and we have nothing to truly “process” or “figure out”. It all is, and we are able to see and know in the fullest sense of Truth. We have entered the No-Mind of Zen and Nirvana of Buddhism.

It is also when we are in this completely pure state that our subconscious is in total alignment with our consciousness, and that means we step into full consciousness, full awareness of our power. That is when we have one hundred percent control of our body and we can heal any part of ourselves effortlessly. It is when we are able to reprogram our minds, bodies, and spirit in an instant because we are no longer a slave to the mind or the emotional body. This is sometimes called the state of the Ascended Masters and other enlightened beings.

I believe it is our true state, and we’ve simply forgotten what our true state is. Aka. YES! I’M A SUPERHERO IN DISGUISE!!! 😀

And so are you.

How do we attain purity of thought?

This process is going to be different for each person because we are all unique individuals with so many variables affecting each of us.

Because we are all so unique no one says that you need to be a new age spiritual junkie to attain purity of thought. I personally believe that many people who work close with nature like a survivalist, and all of the people we have seen YouTube videos about as they play with ‘wild animals’ such as lions or crocodiles have somehow attained a purity of thought that is rare in our current society. Perhaps you can attain it with food?

For me, right now it will come through my practices that are largely a mix-mash of many different traditions and the focus of this particular article is written with that focus and influence.

And I believe all of the ways that the great spiritual teachers teach us are all equally valid. Perhaps one of the best ways of reaching purity of thought is using each practice, or devising our own, as it fits most naturally in our lives.

If we were to do all of the most common spiritual practices our life might look something like:

  • Wake up
  • Meditate in whichever form you are inspired to (minimum 1 hour)
  • Yoga
  • Visit nature to maintain a strong connection to the planet (and its grounding)
  • Pray
  • Practice gratitude
  • Constant watching of thought and reprogramming thought patterns as much as possible (tireless work)

When do you actually go to work?

Purity of Thought in Practice

It seems like a lot, and it is. It gets easier for all of us as more people do the work to create larger paths for others to follow. It also gets easier with practice because it turns into a lifestyle that naturally benefits you. I know from my personal experience that tenacious dedication to my spiritual practices at first were essential in turning spirituality into a natural lifestyle. Even though there was a lot of work involved I noticed a general improvement over my entire well-being and flow to my life.

I’ve also noticed that many practices have become so well ingrained with my life after years of practice that I am no longer able to separate the spiritual part of myself from the rest of me. It would take conscious effort on my part to stop doing spiritual practices because I have such a strong habit of praying when I’m walking, practicing mindfulness whenever I remember, and watching my thoughts.

I am still far from perfect though and often  I resist flowing into a more dedicated practice in my life. I say, “I’m too busy” to meditated everyday. That is an excuse, I know. Often when I experience resistance to my practice and so slowly I let it decline into something (for me) that’s non-existent. This resistance comes most often from fear. This was the fear that Marianne Williamson so famously speaks about in the following words:

“it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

Any practice, spiritual or not, that brings us closer to our true selves, our Divinity, helps our light shine brighter and our power to grow.

Results of Purity of Thought

In our society purity of thought separates us from the norm, our light and power separates us from everyone else. (Spiderman anyone? Batman? Cat Woman? X-Men? Maybe they aren’t all light, but they definitely have power and they are definitely separate from the norm…)

The stronger our light shines, the greater the degree of difference we feel from more people. We no longer resonate with them. We are there to help and share our wisdom and talents but the actual amount of people that we can be true friends or lovers with gets smaller and smaller and smaller the purer our thought becomes. Unless we show everyone how easy it is to be a superhero! 😛

To have purity of thought defines you as someone different from everyone else. Purity of thought brings forth the impossible into everyday lives, and when it is strong, can show what is actually possible as a human being. People who pursue this purity will learn that their lives are very different from the norm, and it will in a sense alienate them from the majority. But they will be the most courageous, brilliant, ingenious, beautiful and radiant human beings we will ever see and know.

 My Conclusion

Therefore, I accept the challenge to manifest purity of thought in my own mind. Because I’m done being scared of who I truly am. Because I am going to take control and take responsibility for everything in my life so that I can create exactly what I desire in my life. So each day I will learn my lessons as best I can, and learn more about how I can shine, practicing releasing all that holds me back. Because I really love the thought that I’M A SUPERHERO!

What do you say? Will you join me in uncovering your inner superhero? Perhaps your path is not one of meditation. What path do you choose, and what path works for you?

I’m excited to hear about your adventures! 🙂

P.S.

This article turned out to be five-page long essay, so this blog post is a much shortened version of that. 🙂

Space to Breathe, Fear and Writing Again!

Recently I came into conscious awareness that I had set up my life in such a way that there was no longer anyone breathing down my back telling me what to do. There was no “shoulds”, there were no “needs” just simply “What do you desire?”. It was a really strange and positive realization that makes me want to jump up and down with joy!

For so long I have “worked” (if you can call life work) to put myself in a safe space where I can truly be me and learn about me without major interference. I felt that there was all of this space around me, space where I could breathe and relax while making my decisions. My close friends that I asked what I should do didn’t tell me what I should do. They listened and all told me the same thing “follow your heart, follow your intuition.”

Who knew that this would be one of the scariest things for me? Ironic in a sense because last year coming to BC I jumped to follow my heart and dreams. Right now I don’t feel the Universe is being as clear to me about what it is that I need to do right now though in reality, its me not being able to pick up or hear the answers that the Universe is giving me.

Several things came along with this realization though – things that needed to be looked at closer before a major celebration took place. The feeling that I could breathe and the sense of freedom to make my own choices was a very odd and new sensation that scared me.

It means that I am one hundred percent responsible for the choices that I make now. It means that I no longer have to run because I no longer have anything to escape from. When I do something that I don’t like it is all on me and I need to own all of my stuff. It means that I have the opportunity to step fully into my power and radiance a little bit more than before.

All of this came at once, subconsciously, and it came as an onslaught of internal fear that was nameless, faceless yet overwhelming and heavy. It would rise up inside of me and my only response would be to curl into a heaving ball of tears for a good fifteen or twenty minutes at a time with my body trembling. This went on for a good week and a half at least, and only now am I coming to realize exactly what was happening.

Now I see this fear is a conglomerate of many fears – the unknown, taking full responsibility for my life, not making the “right choice”, judgments from others and therefore myself, stepping into my own power and radiance.

All of these fears made me want to run away and escape from everything. From my perspective during those days it was the outside world causing all this fear to come up in me, and that I must not be in the right spot at all. Now I know it was all internal.

For most of my years living on this Earth I was always hatching escape plans. I have journals filled with them, and all the calculations to go along with them from how much a bus ticket would cost me to the destination I wanted most and how I would earn that money.

I’ve learned this last year I was doing a lot of running away. I now know that my subconscious has been trained over the years to do precisely that! And its not a bad thing. But it is no longer necessary because I’ve chosen to surround myself with good people, and I’ve chosen to live my life a way that feels most right to me.

This running away reflex was first brought to my attention through a conversation with a good friend of mine, who brought it up. At that moment I had to agree with his points, and I promised myself that I would watch out for this pattern in all parts of my life. I made a deal with myself, that if I started talking about leaving this place I would force myself to wait until I knew with absolute certainty what I was doing. And it worked! So it seems.

I know that it will take time to reprogram my subconscious completely from this tendency, but I know too that I can and will do it.

Now I find myself in a space that is much safer and more stable than where I have been for the last month and not nearly as chaotic for the last several months. Gradually I have been able to calm down enough to come to these learnings about myself.

And I feel ready to write again.

P.S.

Since “settling” into this temporary yet stable place I’ve pulled certain cards from my deck The Ascended Masters that I’d like to share with you, if you are interested.

Major Card: “New Beginnings” which I interpret as follows for me: You are currently in a very special spot of your life where anything can happen that you desire. It is time to let the new energy coming into your being and to release all of the old stuff. Let your life be new, and create what you want most in it. Take time to figure out just what it is that you want.

Major Card: “Write”: TA-DA!

Major Card: “Artistic Expression”: Connected with writing, it is through artistic expression of your choice that you learn so much more about yourself and your desires. You are able to discover many things and make sense of the world more and more through this process.

Major Card: “Open Your Heart to Giving and Receiving Love”: This is something that I’ve been frequently reminded of over the last week, and I don’t like it. It brings me too close to too many people. At the same time I know its necessary and this card comes as a reminder to breathe, and open up to all the love my tiny universe has to offer. After all, people are the bread and butter of life, and everything else is extra. Encouragement to dive into the community and be myself.

Update YAY!

Hello!

Welcome to the life of an entrepreneur, even an organized one! It sure takes a lot to organize a business and get it going. 🙂

This past month has once again been a crazy month in my personal life. I’ve been working on getting the basic needs of my life met. Now that has been taken care of, I am able to once again update the Blog! I hope I get to fall back into a routine again soon with Blog updates!

Here are some new updates as to what is going on with Willows Lavender:

  • There is a new size of Gemstone Elixir! Its 5 mL and only $2. Very good buy.
  • Gemstone Elixirs 50 mL size are available in Victoria at The Dark Horse and Avalon Books.
  • Some of you may have noticed the new Online Store Tab. I’m still working on it, it’s very much in the beginning stages, and I’m learning as I go. If you know anyone who knows OsCommerce well enough to make it pretty and might be interested in doing a trade with me, please let me know! 🙂
  • On the online store you can see much more detailed descriptions of all the elixirs minus the astrological signs. Those I’m still working on.
  • My prices have changed for Card Readings. I’m still finding the price I feel most comfortable at that will attract the clientelle that I want. So Card Readings are now a suggested donation of $50.
  • I’m also going to be holding a Reiki Level one class soon! August or September I haven’t decided yet. There will be a promotion with it, so let me know if your interested!
  • I’ll be working at the Sunday Market in the Uptown Plaza from 12 pm – 4 pm on Sundays starting July 1st. Hope to see you there!

Sending you all lots of love and light!

 

New Website

Hello one and all!

It seems I have a habit of posting around the new and full moons when I’m not on a stricter schedule… Hm…

My life is in an intense period of change and growth. I’ve been guided to believe that around my birthday in December it will even out and lessen in intensity. Right now, life is crazy in all ways, and my time needs to be used wisely because there is not a lot of free time.

One of my main experiments in the last couple of days has been sending “love beams” to people. I’ve also learned a bit more about energy work that seems to be essential to practising it safely which is good! And by safely I mean, not using any of your own energy in the process of doing energy work on another. In this case, it was not using my own energy to send a love beam, but sending the Universal energy. The Universal energy is love and goes where I want it to go through my intention.

In my body and energy field the last two weeks I’ve been experiencing shifts. I’ll feel the heart open, or shift to one side, or maybe the root chakra turn to fire, or the solar plexus turn left. It’s been intense, a good intense. So in my downtime I do my best to relax, and let it flow. I know where I am going, and it is going to be AWESOME! It’s scary as hell though to feel through all the junk I’ve been carrying around, but it needs to be done. Just like spring cleaning!

And all the sweat, tears and fighting is paying off! People are noticing how I am a different person. I surprise myself sometimes. One thing a good friend of mine said to me that hit me hard was “That’s a false story. Stop telling yourself false stories. Maybe you were that person in the past, but that’s not you right now.” Now every time I think to myself that I am something, a second question comes with it: Is that true right now? Most of the time it’s no.

I am house-sitting until the middle of August which I am super excited about. I have a place to live relatively stress-free, and to make the gemstone elixirs in.

For Willows Lavender there is a new website! The address is willowslavender.com. Check it out, enjoy it. I’m still working on it and tweaking on it. I’d like to add an online store which has turned into a huge learning curve for me in WordPress. It’s fun though!

Time to fly

Serafina

 

Hello world!

Welcome to the blog and online home of Willows Lavender!

I’ve imported the posts from Spiral Times that I feel are relevant to this website, just in case you were wondering where all the extra articles came (or the same articles that you’ve read before if that is the case!).

Posts will begin to be made here regularly once I get some personal situations figured out which is hopefully soon. I have plans for articles that I am extremely excited about!!! Some are already written and just need to be edited too!

In the meantime, a short story or two to entertain you!

I created and worked on the elixir, I Am Protected, along with three other elixirs on the same night. I placed them all outside at the same time, and took them all inside at the same time, twenty-four hours later. To my surprise the I Am Protected elixir is the only elixir that I have ever taken back inside where all the words on the jar had not been wiped off by rain! All the other elixirs no longer had the words on them at all.

And another:

This night I created two customer elixirs, including one for myself, and two more for a line. Once again, they were all placed outdoors at the same time and came back at the same time. When I went to gather them though, the jar that had carried the elixir meant for me had travelled halfway across the yard AND emptied itself!

It was the only jar to do so….

My conclusion is that these elixirs have a life of their own, and that I’m working with something bigger here…

Talk soon!

Serafina

 

The Spiral Change

I’ve done it! I’ve finished my business plan and my request for business seed money has been granted! With endings come new beginnings, and since the completion of my business plan I’ve been very focused on writing and creating this blog. One of my advisers noticed this, and recently in our conversation brought up his surprise as to where I am putting all my attention to.

“Shouldn’t you be more focused on Willows Lavender than your blog at this point? If you focus on many different things, you can only do a little bit at a time, but if you focus on one thing you can get a lot more done in a shorter time period?”

He was right. And so I informed him, that honestly, I just don’t know what the next step is with Willows Lavender. What do I need to do now?

We didn’t come up with an answer because we didn’t know what I needed to do. But this conversation did prompt me to pull some cards before I went to sleep that night. The cards that I pulled were: Inner Power, Self-Reliance, and Quiet Time. I spent some time feeling them and this is what passed through my mind:

  • Starting and running my own business is a huge step in taking back my power and owning it. I need to be in my power as a business owner.
  • This business is a way for me to become more self-reliant on myself, learn to find the answers of what I need to do next by myself, for I am full of wisdom if I will listen to it.
  • Take some time off from working and allow yourself to open to the wisdom wishing to be heard.

I thanked the cards, put them away, and rolled into sleep fully intending to take the next day off to work more with my own inner guidance.
—————–

Spiral Times began in 2009 as an experiment, which each and every post has been since then. It began because I felt a need to share with others my experiences, thoughts, dreams and desires – many of which I have never taken the time to write down and post about. Spiral Times fell aside as life’s many lessons came full blast to me over the next few years until I was once again ready to post, which was last year at the end of 2011.

Never has Spiral Times lost its meaning to me, and today I would like to share with you why this blog is named as such because it is named for a moment that is still very vivid in my mind and that has greatly affected the way that I live and experience life.

In that particular moment, five years ago, my heart was being torn in many different directions. I knew that no matter which way I chose to go I would lose something important to me and so I couldn’t make up my mind in which direction to go. Crying out in despair for help, tears rolling down my face (it was dramatic in my mind so imagine it as so!), I was suddenly transported to another very different place.

I was walking up the slope of a white-blue spiral in a dimensionless and timeless space. The spiral expanded above and below me, and held other people who were also in various stages of ascending or descending. Sometimes they were even sitting or pacing back and forth on the spiral.

At the same time I saw and felt this, I knew that this spiral represented human consciousness. I knew that one could go up or down this spiral in whatever form or fashion one wanted to take. There were no good or bad, and no part of the spiral was better than any other part. However, the higher up the spiral one was the more “truths” one was aware of because the higher up the spiral the more “truths” one had lived. The higher truths encompassed and expanded the lower truths (for lack of me knowing the words that would better explain this experience without judgement I will use lower and higher even though no part on the spiral is better than another). Each person was living their truth, and as such was on the part of the spiral that vibrated to their truth. As each person lived they were making choices to expand or minimize their truth and change where they were on the spiral.

As I felt myself move up the spiral I returned to the living room and watched a spiral dissipate into the air, literally moving up from where I was.

This blog honors that moment that taught me so much so quickly. It was a moment that became the basis of many of my beliefs and that reminds me to argue less, to never try to convince or persuade a person, to bring compassion and understanding to every encounter, to all change to happen as it naturally does in life and with people. As your truth and vibrations change so does your life to match.

And yes, I get lost in the everyday world, and sometimes I’m not able to live these ideals, but the spiral reminds me of these ideals.

As I shift, Spiral Times shifts. Writing here for the last few months has allowed me to come to know what it is exactly that I really want to put on in the world at this moment. What I have been writing here doesn’t belong here. It belongs to Willows Lavender.

And so the Spiral Times is going to shift, make a transition, perhaps even experience a metamorphosis into what I’ve been guided that it needs to be.

On May 1st I will post again to inform you of any updates, and hopefully the Spiral Times will resume its journey anew at that time.

Until then,
Adios.

Who is Mirroring You?

What do the people around you reflect?

Many times I’ve come across the concept that the other people that I encounter are mirrors for what’s happening within me. The first time I encountered the phrase I sat back and contemplated it, rolling the phrase “People are mirrors for your inner self.” I knew it was important, but I didn’t quite understand it or realize it.

For many years after I tried to grasp the concept, tried to feel what it means for others to be a mirror of myself or to be a mirror for the person. I think once the concept is fully realized in a person will change the whole person’s behavior and the way they interact with people. Once fully realized, a person can see or feel the sweeping undertows of an interaction with another person and what is truly going on in a situation.

A small piece of Maya or illusion is removed.

Sometimes my brain has a very hard time conceptualizing a particular concept. This was one such concept. My brain twisted and bent as it strived to make sense of people mirroring me for a few years now. Often I would meet a person and do my best to see what was being mirrored back at me only to not be able to find anything at all. I would be asking the question: “What is it that I don’t like about them? What is it that annoys me?”

And if they were really annoying or infuriating to me I would say to myself, “Oh God, seriously? I really hope I am not like that at all!”

It was rare that the mirror would spawn deep reflection – my brain hurt – until I finally realized a small part of the concept just last month: Whatever I get annoyed about, I am. This was beautifully shown to me by the Universe and a friend of mine. I was complaining to her about how some people make plans: “They leave it all up in the air and I never know if we are actually going to meet or not! And I get so confused sometimes!”

My friend said: “You do that too.”

Stunned, my words died in midsentence. “What? When?”

She proceeded to give me several examples of when I had done the exact thing I was complaining about.

And it hit me: I am what I complain about.

Last week I witnessed a woman who was reflecting parts of me that I don’t like to look at or accept within myself. Because I refused to look at this aspect of me my reaction to her became stronger and stronger as I fought it – I wasn’t looking at my victim state because I wasn’t being a victim therefore why should I look there?

Deeper reflection over time revealed that there are still areas of my life where the victim mentality comes into play. By allowing myself to have a victim mentality and not being on guard of my mental patterns I step out of my personal power. I don’t take full responsibility for my life, giving it away to whatever fits in that moment of time.

Something else I have recently noticed is that in all the mirrors I’ve ever looked at, I was always trying to find what was wrong with me. I was always asking the wrong questions. I believe that asking those questions was part of the reason that I had such a hard time conceptualizing the idea – I didn’t believe that a person could mirror positive aspects of me too.

The Universe is not a tyrant.

The Universe is expressed in my reality right now as a duality – there is positive and there is negative and therefore mirrors in my life express both. Mirrors can be a positive experience!

Mirrors can be positive and beautiful too, just like you!

Realizing the other part – that you are a mirror for others – can change interactions with others as well. There are times when I have been hanging out with a person and something gets triggered. From my perspective I’ve done nothing to provoke or annoy the person, yet something happened for them that wasn’t pleasant.

Understanding that I may have mirrored for another an aspect they hate allows more acceptance and compassion to flow from me to them. Having experienced my own reaction to someone innocently reflecting one of my most undesirable aspects of myself in my opinion, I can totally empathize with a person who receives the same from me.

When a reaction like this happens, if a person is able to be conscious and allow the reaction to happen without judgment more clarity for both people can be attained. The person on the receiving end is able to step back from the situation and stay calm. He is able to practice allowance, his own wisdom and compassion. He needs to be able to decipher what is going in the situation – is he a mirror, or is he something more? How can he best respond to this situation? Does the reactor need space?

Sometimes the only thing the receiver can do is accept it. Sometimes the receiver must intervene. I would love to one day have the ability to take all with calmness and yet give out exactly what the other person needs to learn what the Universe is trying to teach, just like the story of a monk who threw his shoe at a student to make a point, or Jesus turning the merchants tables over in the temple in anger. (I’m sure most traditions have similar stories that I’d love to hear about as they bring a smile to my lips).

The person reacting needs to be able to fully react without judgment or fear, and learn from his reaction by having the space to process what happened and why. This must processing must be done on the reactors own terms and in his own time.

I feel like this happens quite often on a less extreme scale in many of my interactions with people, and part of the reason why I don’t want to respond to certain people or vice versa. I truly believe that every encounter with another is a learning opportunity. If I could use them all without being overwhelmed or driven crazy, I would! 🙂

P.S. Pictures in today’s blog posts were not taken by me. Click the image to go to the owners Flickr portfolio.

Self-Acceptance

The world is a wonderful harmonious place. It is full of sunshine, rainbows, and faeries. There are little Unicorns traipsing along the rainbows if you look close enough, and the fey regularly come out to happily play. The trees reach up into the sky unremittingly, the birds chirp joyously, and the plants all around us innocently grow. Humans help each other whenever possible and listen empathetically when appropriate. Time doesn’t matter  so there is no rush to accomplish anything because it is all completed right on Universal time. Laughter and joy permeate in the air around us. Kindness and generosity are regular occurrences. There is naught a harmful intention in the air for all is cared for and wonderful to bear.

This is what my brain naturally thinks of the world before I leave my bed. Then I get up. Reality is very far from the perfect fairy tale world that I like to think I live in.

I have been told over and over and over again certain things: The way I think is wrong. I am naive. The world doesn’t work that way. People aren’t kind and generous. I can’t trust people. Helping people is not worth the time nor expense – they are all trying to get something from you. Happiness is not possible unless you have lots of money. And yet money doesn’t buy you happiness.

Most of my life I’ve thought that I am weird. I view the world differently and that, I’m told, is a “bad” thing. I’ve allowed all of the thoughts listed above, and my beliefs about myself that are based on other peoples thoughts to stop my natural tendencies, personality, and who I am from being shown. By doing that I allowed my power to be taken away.

Now that I am in the process of taking back my power and stepping into it there is much to learn and many thought patterns that will gradually be reformed. One thing that I have noticed is that  when I am centred into my heart and grounded the outside worlds opinions don’t matter nearly as much, and I am able to confidently spread my joy and heart openly.

When I was in grade one or two I had my first jarring experience of not being accepted. My parents had enrolled me in a Christian private school that was rather extreme in a lot of their views and actions unknown to my parents at the time. What my parents were concerned about was the high quality of education provided by the school, which it definitely provided.

In class we had been asked if our parents were Christians. I didn’t raise my hand because my parents weren’t “Christians” by the schools definition of the word. The next day during the first recess I was approached by a group of girls. The leader of the group asked me “Is it true that your parents aren’t Christians?”

I, excruciatingly shy, nodded, surprised to be surrounded by so many people. The leader then informed me: “My mommy says I can’t play with you because your parents aren’t Christians.” The other girls nodded, and all of them walked away. I distinctly remember the feeling of shock, disappointment and confusion.

Reflecting on this memory illustrates to me that non-acceptance is taught or learned. It is a belief or thought pattern that until otherwise expressed most children would not think other than total acceptance of what is, whether that be a person, idea, animal, etc.

At first I thought self-acceptance was a value made up of a collection of beliefs, but now I’ve decided that self-acceptance is the sum of deeply ingrained beliefs. If a person lacks self-acceptance this shows with various statements that tell what the person thinks of themselves or believes  about themselves. The same goes if a person has self-acceptance.

The beliefs that dictate if we will or can accept ourselves for who we are define what we think of ourselves. All of these beliefs and self-acceptance rest energetically within the solar plexus chakra. Therefore, self-acceptance is directly tied to and effects  self-esteem, body image, stepping into one’s power and self-confidence.

Hug yourself! Your beautiful too!

Some of the beliefs that may contribute to not accepting ourselves are:

“I can’t do that because its too hard”

“I am too stupid”

“I am too fat”

Versus

“I am capable of working hard to achieve what I want.”

“I am intelligent. It is okay to make mistakes.”

“I am beautiful the way I am.”

The last couple of weeks I struggled with my own issues of self-acceptance. There were many people who came into my life who were mirrors for aspects of myself that I don’t really care to think about or look at. In fact, sometimes I refuse to look at those aspects. When the aspects of myself are mirrored and I find myself reacting strongly to the person mirroring the aspect I know that I am not accepting something of me.

One woman last week stood out in particular. When I saw this woman, I saw me. When I saw her victim state I saw mine. And this was repulsive to me. She was a reminder of a part of me, of who I had been at one point in my life, and I really did not like it. This was a part of myself that I found hard to look at never mind love. It was much easier to ignore that part of me and pretend that it had never happened.

And so I question: Is a person whole only when they accept all parts of themselves?

A person is whole when they are able to accept the fact that they are going to cry, be angry, be upset, have bad days, have bad hair, and that they have a “shadow side”. Sometimes we are going to think “bad” things, we are going to make judgments on ourselves or others, do things that we are going to regret. And all of that is okay. It is all part of our human experience and all part of our own personal journeys.