Author Archives: serafinachristine

Boundaries and the Solar Plexus

I was looking for fences, and I found this stone fence sticking out from between two wood fences. When I took the picture I discovered the face... and contemplate more...

This is something that I have personally have a lot of trouble with, though I am far better now than I ever have been. It has taken a long time for

me to understand exactly what a boundary is, what it feels like (which is can be a necessity to me in understanding things fully) and how I encounter them.

When I left Winnipeg I recall Grams telling me that I have no boundaries. At the time I was slightly miffed to hear that, insulted even. Of course I had boundaries! Everyone has boundaries! That statement brought into my awareness boundaries and boundary setting and began my attempts of understanding what she was talking back.

Now I look back and I can see that I really didn’t have boundaries. I barely have boundaries today – though they are formulating and shaping themselves as I become more aware of what I want, like and need.

Not working the last few months I’ve floated along with life as everyone else – aka people who I love and are very close to me – deals with their busy schedules and lives. I’ve gotten bored, unmotivated, tired of working, and also found it very easy to schedule my activities around their lives.

So I’ve been around and very available.

My close friends have gotten used to me being available, and I love interacting with them. Lately, I’ve been highly motivated to finish up the projects that I’m working on by the end of March at the latest. This creates a crossroads for me – set my boundary and restrict my time with these people, or “float”.

Now they are the perfect people to practice setting boundaries with! Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but my successes are becoming greater than the fails. Here are some things that I noticed about boundaries as I contemplated them this past week.

I fear creating and setting boundaries. Deep down inside I am scared that if I set one the other person will never want to speak to me again. It’s unrealistic and not true. I counter this fear with the belief that people like people who have boundaries – it makes you less passive and people feel comfortable because decisions are made mutually by taking into account both people’s needs, wants and likes.

Boundaries require awareness of who I am in the physical. A lot of the cues that I get that a boundary is being violated by me or another person is given in my physical body. There’s an intuitive thought or “alarm” followed by dissociating from my body. As I practice staying in my body, it’s becoming more obvious to me when I’ve disassociated. At those times I need to reach back into my body and focus on my breath.

Energetically, boundaries have a lot to do with taking back my power and controlling my life. This stems from an imbalance in the Solar Plexus chakra or energy center (you can read a post on here on MommyMystics website about what the chakras are), and most likely accounts for the pains and shifts that occur in my digestive/solar plexus area.

This is also coincides with the guidance I’ve been feeling and receiving messages of: Its time to take the power back in my life, to stand up for what

Stepping up into my power.

my needs and wants are. By setting boundaries I take control of my life and what happens instead of passively letting the river take me wherever it wants to go. Now I see this and understand it.

When my boundaries are set and stay in place I feel centered and grounded. Overall generally more at ease with life and what is going on with me. I feel like myself, and in my body. My stress level remains low because I feel that I am accomplishing everything that I need and want to do, plus experiencing what I want out of life.

I’ve learned that when I have set healthy boundaries on an energetic level the world around me does not drive me half as crazy. By shielding (imagining I am in a bubble of sorts), sometimes in multiple layers and colors, I am able to enter a Future Shop without getting a headache within ten minutes, or go to Walmart without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer volume of energy.

With healthy boundaries I am able to speak with people inside and outside of sessions without taking on their energy, emotions or feelings. I can feel my little bubble reflecting off the little bullets of emotions and thoughts. This makes me feel good about myself, which in turn increases my self-esteem. Aha, I think I’m getting it now how self-esteem works and is created… A to-do list doesn’t cut it for me.

Now that I have identified what it feels like to have boundaries and what I feel like when I don’t, reflection brings forth the next question: How am I going to better implement healthy boundaries in my life, and step further into my power?

My answer at this point: Improve communication skills. Awareness. Practice. Your suggestions are welcome.

Communication

Peacock!!

Mike and I went to the park. There was a peacock. Random.

Hello!

Today I have some business updates, and a smaller article on communication for you. Skip down to the article by clicking here!

I am super excited to announce that as of April 1st I am working out of Simple Remedies here in Victoria! I’m renting a room on Wednesdays, and will happily book your appointment for Reiki! Shoot me an email or call me at 250-213-1252! 🙂

The room is not really set up for Card Readings. There is a small table that I can do a small reading on, however it is not yet the most comfortable set up so I may still need to find space for readings, especially for larger readings like the Year Circle Spread. I’d prefer to do that out of a store that sells metaphysical goods like Instinct or Avalon, so please let me know if you see anywhere that may be of interest. 🙂

I’m in the final stages of writing my business plan, which I plan to finish up by the end of this weekend – leaving only the Executive Summary to write. Next week I’ll be out and about checking out financing options at various places I’ve been hearing about including Community Microlending and Women’s Enterprise Center.

Now on to the Article!

Last year as my travels began I become more and more aware of how people communicate and the differences even in just provinces. My awareness extended to how I communicate with others, and how people feel about my style. Sometimes I might even catch a person “jumping” when I use certain words because of the harshness of that word.

Notably different here on the West Coast, especially Vancouver Island, is the softness in which people speak. Generally speaking, its soft tones with soft words with soft sentences. Its like people are composing a poem, yet its not quite a poem. Its feminine.

People in Winnipeg and Manitoba are much different in our mannerisms and the way we communicate. We are very straightforward and our language is harsher. I would say that it is a more masculine way of speaking.

This year I wanted to work on my communication skills, because I know that I have issues with communication sometimes. So I asked the Universe to teach me, and it brought me to Victoria BC. Now, I wasn’t expecting to move into an entire city that among many of it’s lessons for me would bring communication lessons, but it has.

At times it frustrates me. A lot.

What I’m finding is that I’m meeting many people who speak with soft tones, words and sentences. The language feels good. It sounds good. It’s fluttery and as beautiful as a butterfly. No matter what is said, how can I take offence?

Then I leave.

Confused. Usually very confused.

I have no idea what just happened except that I had a conversation with a person and now I’m very confused. Did we actually come to a conclusion on anything we spoke of? Are we actually going to meet again? Do they want to meet with me again? What is going on?

My emotional state during that conversation does not actually rise or fall. Their words have no effect on me either way. They are not particularly inspiring or uplifting even though they are soft. They don’t bring me down either. In short: This new language does nothing for me.

I understand that there is a belief that the words that you use attract things to you, as do thoughts based on their vibrations. The higher your word choices vibrate at naturally one would think that the quality of things/people you are attracting to you would be also vibrating at a higher rate. I don’t disagree with this. It is true. However, there is a WHOLE science and art form to this.

It goes beyond word choice.

Blooming into myself.

Many people don’t realize – as they’ve only been introduced to the very basic concepts of this art form through such places as The Secret, and through Abraham Hicks, that the Art of Manifestation has been studied for centuries and goes back thousands and thousands of years. It is an art that few have been able to master completely. It takes training of the mind, of the emotions, of every aspect of yourself.

Wording and the words you choose are important, but also are the emotions behind the words that are equally as important. Words are the messengers of the emotions that we feel. They are the way we express our feelings, wants and needs. They can take on our emotions and free them in a way that nothing else can. The emotion behind Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a Dream speech is what made his words so powerful and inspiring. It makes you want to listen to his words.

Many times I’ve not paid attention to my words, and not thought they were a big deal. I could simply tune into the feeling behind what the person is saying. That feeling is more important to me because it is the Truth behind the words. That feeling tells me what the person’s intent is. As I float through life, I see that words become so important because many people no longer have that ability to tune into these feelings. I believe that ability is a natural human birthright.

And when I am not in a state of clarity it is much harder for me to tune into the feeling fully, especially with the world moving so fast.

When I’m talking with a person, I want to leave that person feeling good about themselves, their worlds, their life, and the Universe. I want to inspire people to live better lives, and to see that there are truly good people. I want to show people the magic that is around us, always, just waiting to be seen. And I want people to experience what it is like to be loved, truly, wholey, and completely, with no expectations of them at all.

Yes, I have much to learn with communication. I am learning to choose my words better through listening to the people who live in Victoria. I am learning how to speak in a gentler way. I am learning what the strengths and weaknesses of masculine and feminine language are. The lessons of communication are abundant and intriguing. 

Now I must delve back into my latest book of reading choice, “Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion” by Marshall B. Rosenberg. There will be a book review on it in the near future!

Have an awesome day!

P.S. All pictures on today’s post were taken by Mike, and edited by me. Fun times!! 🙂

Twin Flames and Authentic Spirituality

This week was a rather slow week for me in the realm of doing things. I did a lot of thinking, and spent a lot of time formulating possible future plans for my business and where I would like it to go. Among a few key realizations I have a funny serious story to share with you! It’s kind of long, but I hope you enjoy it!

Inside this box that sits on my alter is two skeletons, together in love forever.

Last Thursday I had an Angel Card Reading that I had won. The reader was very good at what she does. It was an eye-opening experience for me. Before that reading I had always thought that my readings weren’t good enough, they weren’t as good as other peoples readings. It is definitely a line of thought that stems within my own family (the thought of not being good enough), and a thought pattern that is not helpful. After the reading I realized that my readings are just as good and as worthy as other people’s readings.

That was huge for me.

The reading was also a confirmation that I am on the “right” path. It also stewed up a bunch of stuff inside of me. She pulled the Twin Flame card. I tell you this because it directly relates to another knowing that completely formulated itself last night. Well, the Twin Flame card gets pulled, and she gets all excited, “You are going to meet your Twin Flame!”.

For those unfamilar with the term Twin Flame is considered the person to be your other half, the person who completes you, the ultimate partner. The connection is said to be very strong and fairly rare though more joinings are happening at this time more than any other time in history. It is said that when the Twin Flames join it is because they have a mission to accomplish on the planet for the good of all beings and it will be their last time reincarnated on this planet. There’s a lot of information on them on the web, my favorite piece on Twin Flames is the song Origin of Love by Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If your Twin Flame is not incarnate on the planet at the same time you are it, it is said that they are on the other side helping you as much as they can.

Back to the story! She’s excited, but when she see’s my face she realizes that I’m already in a partnership and her first question is: “Is he spiritual?”. My response is no.  She then tells me that I’m going to meet my Twin Flame in a little while from now, and it’s so exciting, she’s been trying to meet her Twin Flame for a while now, and blah blah blah. For myself this is not exciting. In fact, it makes me angry and very upset.

I had decided years ago that I don’t have a Twin Flame because I feel like the idea messes with the relationships that are in my life right now. My mind begins to try to decipher if the person I’m with is a Twin Flame, and if not, then I find myself distancing myself from the relationship. Thus I decided that my Twin Flame is not living on the planet, therefore I do not have to worry about meeting him! However in the last six months I’ve had a few different messages that a Twin Flame is coming. This reading was the final straw!

I wrote an angry letter to the my Twin Flame and his Guardians basically stating that if he comes into my  life it better be for good, because the term already messes with my head, and I won’t have that happening in the physical realm either. I “mailed” it to him by burning the letter, and after a minor freak-out made the decision that I would continue to believe I don’t have a Twin Flame incarnate on the planet at this time.

A flower I felted this week as I contemplated.

Why? Because I am an idealist. Because I believe that relationships with a significant other can provide huge learning opportunities, and can accelerate personal growth. Because I grew up with Disney movies, and a part of me wants to believe that a perfect knight armour is alive and meant just for me, all I have to do is wait for him. Because I choose to give myself entirely to the relationship that I have now, no question about it. I refuse to withhold any part of myself, “just in case”. Because my mind doesn’t need any fuel to screw me over.

As the week went I kept contemplating this. Something didn’t seem entirely right to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I began talking about this incident and some of my observations of men in my life. Something wasn’t sitting right with me. Then I spoke to the right person, one of my good friends. She said to me that my partner is spiritual, its just a different form of spirituality from what I’ve experienced. I didn’t get it. I spoke to Grams, and she said a similar thing. I still didn’t get it. But I kept trying!

And as I spoke to my best friend about it last night the realization occurred. People often in get lost in the doing of spirituality, the doing meditation, yoga, and other “spiritual” practices. Spirituality is not something that can be “done” but rather it is something that happens. It happens when a person knows themselves, is connected to themselves, and is therefore authentically them. A spiritual person is a person who is authentically being.

The practices themselves don’t really matter (they can be helpful), its the authenticity that the person operates from that does matter. Just because a person meditates, or does yoga, or any other “spiritual” practice it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are upholding stronger and clearer values than a person who doesn’t do any. I’ve definitely witnessed much of the opposite in my lifetime – people using those practices as an excuse to do what they want. This makes me happy because I no longer feel like I should be doing this or that. I feel like there is more acceptance in my heart now and more understanding.

And with that,

Have a great week!

P.S.

I became Food Safe Certified this week!! And a new business name is in the works! 🙂

Networking, Fear of Success, True Colours, and Muffins

Banana Nut Muffin

Ah, this week was a very busy week for me! It was filled with a personal learning curve, which definitely has effects my business.

One of my main concerns this week was muffin making! I have made an agreement to trade a gluten free sugar free and vegan muffin recipe for an Akashic Record consultation where I plan to get my business name from as I’m currently operating under none. After finding out that Victoria is the “City of Roses” my old name of Rose Tree Healing would get lost in all the rosey businesses. And it has no oomph to it. So lets see what Spirit has in store!

Thursday night I attended a YES mixer (Young Entrepreneur Society) with another participant in the Youth Means Business program and Mr. Business Coach. I really did not enjoy it, however I do not like crowds of people especially being in a crowd of people in a small confined space. I also dislike people I don’t know touching me which happened often, as it does in crowds, as people move around from one point to another. This mixer definitely took me out of my comfort zone. The other participant I went with seemed quite comfortable and the Mixer seemed profitable for him.

On Sunday, I had requested a friend of mine do some work on me. We focused on my Abundance issues and gleaning clarity on the underlying blockages to abundance. The session definitely met it’s goals of clarity around abundance.  Among a few issues that came up one really stood out to me, which I focused on this week: Fear of success.

At one point in time I had become aware of this fear within my consciousness but I had never done anything with it. It makes sense that it would be a contributing factor to the blockage of abundance, especially financially, that I have felt in my life.  I see that it would contribute to the habits of self-sabotage and procrastination. There are probably other habits or patterns that I am unaware of as well.

After the session and dragging my feet for Monday and Tuesday I said to myself  “Okay, you have to stop this Serafina. You have to deal with your fear and you know how to do it!” So, with much hesitation and crying (It was an emotional moment to possibly loose a long-time buddy, even if it’s for my own good!) I sat down and meditated on my fear.

I pictured him in front of me and asked him what lessons he had to teach me. And then I removed him from my life, and filled that area with white light. This was repeated until he said “You can only deal with me so much in this way, the rest must be dealt with in day to day life… Take care of yourself.”

I would like to share with you some of what he “said”:

“You can love yourself. It is a simple choice…. Self-love will make you radiate… Acknowledge that you are beautiful in the mirror everyday… Don’t be scared to give of yourself, for this is how you will make your biggest contributions to mankind, to humanity.”

On Wednesday I went to the True Colours Personality Workshop that Youth Means Business put on for program participants and I finally got to meet other women in the program! I also learned about the True Colours, which I think are a very simple and fun way to think about people. I’m blue. And my secondary colour is orange. What are you? The only free online quiz I could find for you is here.

My week was emotional. I felt a lot of things moving and shifting. Things that have been held in my body are releasing, and I feel some patterns and ways of thinking are being lifted. It is good!

Also, got a bike! And a helmet! Very excited! Went on my first bike ride and its perfect for my plan to get me into shape! A giant hill almost killed me! Lol. MUAHAHAHAHAA!

Have a great week!  🙂

Full Moon, Clothing Swap & Life Lessons

Off to the Sunday Market I went, and there I met some amazing people. While there, since it was slow, I had plenty of time to think, reflect and have intriguing conversations. One woman I now call my Speech Doctor because she has a beautiful way of speaking and expressing herself. This led to my reflection on some lessons I would like to share with you. 🙂

  1. Words are extremely important. It’s best and improves life to use positive words as much as possible. The Speech Doctor gave me my first lesson: Avoid/notice don’t and won’t.
  2. Names are also extremely important. Remember, and use them. I’ve always been bad at recalling names, at one point I completely stopped using names unless absolutely necessary for fear of using the wrong name (which I often did). To counter my memory failure I’ve begun to visualize people with their names printed beneath their picture.
  3. I am what I complain about. This amazes me. Just amazes me.
  4. Its getting quite easy for me to identify abuse, codependency, boundary issues as well as passive aggressive behaviours now that I have become more knowledgeable and aware. I still have much to learn, however I feel like this awareness shows that some progress has been made on my own journey to heal myself, as they are all issues that I’ve been working with.

On Monday Mr. Business Counselor stated, much to my excitment that I’m almost done three parts of my business plan out of about eleven parts! Some of the pieces I’ve been working on for a few weeks I’ll finally get to retire! YES!

The full moon came around, and with it the opportunity to go to a Full Moon women only clothing swap/get together. A girl I had met on Cortes also came out that day and ended up spending the night here because she joined myself and Lori on our adventure to the clothing swap.

I had made about two dozen chocolate chip cookies that are gluten free vegan and sugar free, and brought some old clothes. Lori brought old clothes as well. When we arrived there were about ten or twelve woman encircling a huge pile of clothes. We dumped our clothes on top and joined the swap, looking at pieces.

I had some AMAZING finds, including purple pants, and yellow high heels. It pretty much made my night when I got home to find that the pair of heels I had thought to be beige were yellow. The realization actually caused me to dance on the spot.

The night was wonderful and after conversation and creating connections with a few of the many women who were there that night I left with a smile on my face, and two cookies on my plate. I will definitely be attending another clothing swap night, and recommend it to you if you encounter one!

Have a great day ladies and gentlemen!

P.S.

I learned recently that Victoria is the land of roses! There are so many here that they are sometimes considered weeds. Well, this I find amazing, as roses are one of my favourite flowers ever. I even tried to grow them one year, but Manitoba winters kill a lot of things. So this new was very exciting to me, and then when I encountered a blooming rosebush on my way home one day I absolutely had to take pictures!

Avocados, Tea, Crystals and Business

Fruit and KettleSunny days have arrived in Victoria!

Along with this my body has decided to lean heavily on the potato and avocado and mango fare. Avocados calm my stomach when it hurts I’ve discovered and I never knew mangoes went on sale this time of the year! Seriously! This is all I’ve been eating for the past two weeks. And lots of tea.

Its been highly difficult for me to stay grounded this past week as well. It’s never been my strong suit to be grounded but I think it might be all the meditations with crystals…

Life:

I’ve been practising a lot with the gemstones that I own. One of the things I would like to accomplish is personally connecting with each stone that I own to see what they bring to my life, and what else they would like to offer. For some reason, I have never really worked with stones in this aspect as I’ve always intuitively followed my guidance and it always matched what they wanted. Now I’m having conversations with the stones.

This week the stone of note is a mystery stone that has been travelling with me since I left Winterpeg! It is a small round purple stone, that most people I brought it to for identification thought was glass. With a suggestion from one of my friends, I place the stone with Angel Quartz, and boy, did he ever start talking loud and clear! He identifies himself as Purple Cat’s Eye.

Business:

This week I was working hard at my business, doing as much work as I could with my business plan for the Youth Means Business program. I was mainly focused on my product list. It was about Thursday that I began feeling overwhelmed at the actual amount of work it requires to complete a business plan. Even though I feel like I’ve done a lot, there still seems to be so much left to do.

Today I choose to relax. This morning I met with the business mentor and a few other participants to have a round-table discussion about our businesses and meet each other. I stated the (what I believe to be) seed, of my feeling of overwhelmed: the sheer variety of gem elixirs I can make!

I’m at seven pages…

Using the wise words of wisdom from Mr. Business Mentor, my product list will be done quite soon, even with the realization that I may have focused on the “wrong” things for what I need right now.

This week too, I’m going to start scoping locations to practice Reiki and Card Readings out of, so if you know of any possibilities that I may be interested in investigating, give me a shout!

And if your out and about this Sunday in Downtown Victoria, I’ll be working at the Dream Collective’s Market, located at the Well between 12 and 5 PM. Yay!


First New Moon of 2012

Victoria had snow! It was pretty awesome!  I thought it I might actually go through this winter without seeing any of the white fluffy stuff I’m so used to.  When I woke up and the streets were white I called my mom just to tell her that it snowed here. There was silence on the phone and then laughter. “Is that like the first time that’s happened this year or something?” Remember, she lives in Winterpeg.

Then two days later the snow is all gone! Mysteriously disappeared overnight leaving green grass behind! I was impressed.

I was pretty excited for this new moon, in fact, I was waiting for it. I have come to love doing a small ceremony with my bestie on Moon nights. My last great manifestation was a 2012 Agenda. Did I ever have plans for this night!

Among the usual things that I am manifesting, this night  included a business. Currently I am working on a business plan with Youth Means Business, a governmentally funded program to help me write a plan and to provide training so that my business might be successful. The business keeps forming, changing, growing, evolving as I work on the business plan. Now I am manifesting space for a storefront and to practice out of that is affordable. It’s in my manifestation box. *crosses fingers*

Since starting to do these moon ceremonies I have begun to notice when the energies shift between moons. Its a very subtle change of feeling in the air around me, and in the things that I personally am working on, and what comes into my life. I am also more aware of my personal cycles.

My first two gem elixirs were effective, and so I’ve created a third with ethereal crystals, an elixir to give more energy to people. It is soon to be tested, I will let you know on the results. I am excited to see if it works.

I decided too this  past week that I needed to change my ceiling. There is only so long that I can stand pale colours. I like strong vibrant colours that make a statement. “I AM PURPLE.” Not, “I… might… possibly… be purple… or an odd… off white…”.

It has been a dream of mine to have a room decorated in fabric, and now, my ceiling is draped with red, pink and orange fabrics. My room feels so much better and much more like “my” space than before. Life goal accomplished! *fist pump*

This Friday night I am going to be doing Reiki and card readings at a party in Downtown Victoria. It is my first time offering Reiki at a party; I am excited and curious about it with a small amount of nervousness. If you are in Victoria, you are now invited to come check it out at the Well. Click here for more details. 🙂

Book Review: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

Hello!

Something I want to do on this blog is a review on some of the many books that I read and the decks that I use in my readings. I plan to do one of each a month for fun! I like to share my thoughts, opinions and ideas about these things. 🙂

First up: Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa

Spiritual Materialism is a book I loved. It was a book that the Universe very strongly wanted me to read. Within a week I met a few people who told me about this book and how I need to read it. So when I found a copy in a community book case, I traded books. Now I own my own copy (gratefully so) because this is one book that I would read over again. Possibly again.

This particular book is actually a transcription of a series of lectures given by Trungpa Rinpoche in the early seventies. The book flows extremely well even with the lecture and a Q & A at the end of each major section to further explain the lecture. The author has a brilliant mastery of English and Sanskrit, teaching throughout the book Sanskrit words and their true meaning from the very root, which I found interesting.

We are guided humorously yet deeply through the inner workings of the ego and mind, and all of the stages from where we begin on the path, to when we get a guru, to beyond the guru and into Tantra. It’s all done with a Tibetan Buddhist point of view and context, with stories to illustrate important points. I felt that I was uncovering things within myself as I read the lectures, and often had to stop and contemplate what was being said.

I found the material covered in the book to be deep and intense. A sense of humor is one of the things most valued by the speaker, and he certainly makes use of it in his lectures. The details of what Spiritual Materialism is – the pursuit of spirituality that feeds the ego- starts off the book, but it quickly turns onto another topic: The ego. The line of thinking is that in order to understand how spirituality can feed our ego, we need to understand the ego. Rinpoche guides us with a very simple metaphor of a monkey being stuck in a room. With this monkey we learn how ego is created and the patterns it has.

One of the things I enjoyed most in the book is that there seems to contain a guide of a spiritual path that most people tend to follow. As different parts were described I could identify with particular parts that I have witnessed in my life, some of the good parts and some of the bad ones. This book is definitely a keeper, and one that I will definitely enjoy re-reading.

Near the end of the book, even though I was reading through the book rather slowly for my pace my brain started to feel overwhelmed. I felt that there was a lot of information coming from the book, and I’m not confident in my ability to recall information from the last chapter or two of the book. There were a few incidences in the book where my beliefs don’t match up with Rinpoches beliefs, and that’s okay. This book is heavily from a Tibetan Buddhist point of view.

This book is one that I loved. I think it is one that I will keep in my library for a long time coming, and is one that many people would find a good read at some point on their path. It is an honest look at the ego and Spiritual Materialism, one that is rarely found.

To purchase this book and get more info, you can follow my amazon link if you would like to support myself and this blog! Affiliate link to Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chogyam Trungpa. Thank you! Your support is very much appreciated.

Emotional Outbreak at the Full Moon

Full Moon

The full moon from my bedroom window!

Hello!

Today, I decided that I have been undergoing a full moon release for the past couple of days. It actually started about two weeks ago with a dream… A dream of a volcano about to explode, breathing out smoke and ash as it has for a while. None of the villagers knew when it would explode, but eventually it would, and so they were moving out of the way. I was on my way to be the bride in a wedding.

Well, I thought about it a little bit, asked a couple people about what it could mean, and we came up that it could mean a huge emotional outburst with my boyfriend. I couldn’t see it happening any time soon since things between us were going well.

Then I have another volcano dream, one I can’t remember details of, while at my boyfriends house. Immediately I get up and look it up in the dream dictionary, and it states “emotional outburst of pent up emotion.”  Interesting.

Then that night overwhelming anger comes up. I rant. I cry. My heart feels so full of pain. I don’t understand the worlds cruelties. I know that this world is not supposed to be like this. It is supposed to be a place of love and joy for everyone. My boyfriend listens and hugs me.

The next day I feel a bit off, a bit blue, but what are you going to do? Sometimes I have blue days. Later that night I feel it deep in my soul and I pray, crying for help from the Universe and the Ones who work with me. And I fear I don’t have the strength to do the next major piece of my journey.

All I hear is “You do. You have the Strength.” And I know they will help me. I can do it.

I cried for a few hours that night, and it seemed to release a lot of things emotionally. I could feel things shifting around inside my body and my mind. I also have a new focus in my life: Self-sustainability.

I am very happy and excited for this part of my journey. I know I will make it.

So tonight, for my full moon ceremony I wrote a short list of what I want to release and burned it. I then spent time expressing gratitude for everything – those that work with me, the people that surround me, that where I am now is such a better place on all levels than where I was last year at this time, and more.

Now I am happily off to accomplish my mission for 2012: Self-sustainability!

P.S.

Jade is one of two stones that help increase one’s ability to be self-sustainable. 🙂

New Years Eve

“Your Vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.” ~ Carl Jung

It’s that time of year again where many of us come together to celebrate the beginning of something new, something that goes deeper and that has been celebrated probably for centuries before us. We come from around world to gather together with loved ones or in places that we love to welcome into our world a new beginning, and new energies with new hopes, dreams and desires that maybe we can accomplish them this time, in this new year.

We share a similar vision for humanity, the vision that this year will be a better year than the last for everyone, that this year will be better for us, that this year the planet will begin to heal, that poverty and world hunger will be solved, that cancers will be cured, that new positive energy will find it’s way into making this world, our world a better place.

Photo courtesy of Sean MacEntee

I have spent the past few years figuring out what New Year’s means to me. I now make resolutions on my birthday for my “New Year” and my birthday incorporates a lot of the excitement of what a new year will bring. Now, for me, New Year’s Eve is that one important time of year when a large majority of humanity gets inspired, gets together and as one large mass of consciousness  welcomes new energy and change into our lives, something most of us resist in our day to day life.

Having been released from my job just two days ago, with enough money to pay January’s rent only, change is something I am being very aware of these past few days. The thought’s I had the as I left my old job for the last time were along the lines of “This job no longer serves me. The Universe has something better planned for me.” And “It’s interesting that I was fired two days before New Year’s Eve…”. I really don’t know what’s going to happen in this new year for me.

I can tell you for certain: I know its big. I am scared, excited, hopeful, and doing my best to ride it out with the least amount of resistance I can manage, to let go and let God (a phrase I keep encountering lately). Enjoy the New Year and all its blessings, even the undercover ones.

“Everything in your life is there as a vehicle for your transformation. Use it!” ~ Ram Dass

P.S.

New Year’s Eve is an awesome movie! So is Hugh. 🙂

** This year I did join one of my good friends in making New Year’s Resolutions… First time in a couple years…