Space to Breathe, Fear and Writing Again!

Recently I came into conscious awareness that I had set up my life in such a way that there was no longer anyone breathing down my back telling me what to do. There was no “shoulds”, there were no “needs” just simply “What do you desire?”. It was a really strange and positive realization that makes me want to jump up and down with joy!

For so long I have “worked” (if you can call life work) to put myself in a safe space where I can truly be me and learn about me without major interference. I felt that there was all of this space around me, space where I could breathe and relax while making my decisions. My close friends that I asked what I should do didn’t tell me what I should do. They listened and all told me the same thing “follow your heart, follow your intuition.”

Who knew that this would be one of the scariest things for me? Ironic in a sense because last year coming to BC I jumped to follow my heart and dreams. Right now I don’t feel the Universe is being as clear to me about what it is that I need to do right now though in reality, its me not being able to pick up or hear the answers that the Universe is giving me.

Several things came along with this realization though – things that needed to be looked at closer before a major celebration took place. The feeling that I could breathe and the sense of freedom to make my own choices was a very odd and new sensation that scared me.

It means that I am one hundred percent responsible for the choices that I make now. It means that I no longer have to run because I no longer have anything to escape from. When I do something that I don’t like it is all on me and I need to own all of my stuff. It means that I have the opportunity to step fully into my power and radiance a little bit more than before.

All of this came at once, subconsciously, and it came as an onslaught of internal fear that was nameless, faceless yet overwhelming and heavy. It would rise up inside of me and my only response would be to curl into a heaving ball of tears for a good fifteen or twenty minutes at a time with my body trembling. This went on for a good week and a half at least, and only now am I coming to realize exactly what was happening.

Now I see this fear is a conglomerate of many fears – the unknown, taking full responsibility for my life, not making the “right choice”, judgments from others and therefore myself, stepping into my own power and radiance.

All of these fears made me want to run away and escape from everything. From my perspective during those days it was the outside world causing all this fear to come up in me, and that I must not be in the right spot at all. Now I know it was all internal.

For most of my years living on this Earth I was always hatching escape plans. I have journals filled with them, and all the calculations to go along with them from how much a bus ticket would cost me to the destination I wanted most and how I would earn that money.

I’ve learned this last year I was doing a lot of running away. I now know that my subconscious has been trained over the years to do precisely that! And its not a bad thing. But it is no longer necessary because I’ve chosen to surround myself with good people, and I’ve chosen to live my life a way that feels most right to me.

This running away reflex was first brought to my attention through a conversation with a good friend of mine, who brought it up. At that moment I had to agree with his points, and I promised myself that I would watch out for this pattern in all parts of my life. I made a deal with myself, that if I started talking about leaving this place I would force myself to wait until I knew with absolute certainty what I was doing. And it worked! So it seems.

I know that it will take time to reprogram my subconscious completely from this tendency, but I know too that I can and will do it.

Now I find myself in a space that is much safer and more stable than where I have been for the last month and not nearly as chaotic for the last several months. Gradually I have been able to calm down enough to come to these learnings about myself.

And I feel ready to write again.

P.S.

Since “settling” into this temporary yet stable place I’ve pulled certain cards from my deck The Ascended Masters that I’d like to share with you, if you are interested.

Major Card: “New Beginnings” which I interpret as follows for me: You are currently in a very special spot of your life where anything can happen that you desire. It is time to let the new energy coming into your being and to release all of the old stuff. Let your life be new, and create what you want most in it. Take time to figure out just what it is that you want.

Major Card: “Write”: TA-DA!

Major Card: “Artistic Expression”: Connected with writing, it is through artistic expression of your choice that you learn so much more about yourself and your desires. You are able to discover many things and make sense of the world more and more through this process.

Major Card: “Open Your Heart to Giving and Receiving Love”: This is something that I’ve been frequently reminded of over the last week, and I don’t like it. It brings me too close to too many people. At the same time I know its necessary and this card comes as a reminder to breathe, and open up to all the love my tiny universe has to offer. After all, people are the bread and butter of life, and everything else is extra. Encouragement to dive into the community and be myself.

Update YAY!

Hello!

Welcome to the life of an entrepreneur, even an organized one! It sure takes a lot to organize a business and get it going. 🙂

This past month has once again been a crazy month in my personal life. I’ve been working on getting the basic needs of my life met. Now that has been taken care of, I am able to once again update the Blog! I hope I get to fall back into a routine again soon with Blog updates!

Here are some new updates as to what is going on with Willows Lavender:

There is a new size of Gemstone Elixir! Its 5 mL and only $2. Very good buy.
Gemstone Elixirs 50 mL size are available in Victoria at The Dark Horse and Avalon Books.
Some of you may have noticed the new Online Store Tab. I’m still working on it, it’s very much in the beginning stages, and I’m learning as I go. If you know anyone who knows OsCommerce well enough to make it pretty and might be interested in doing a trade with me, please let me know! 🙂
On the online store you can see much more detailed descriptions of all the elixirs minus the astrological signs. Those I’m still working on.
My prices have changed for Card Readings. I’m still finding the price I feel most comfortable at that will attract the clientelle that I want. So Card Readings are now a suggested donation of $50.
I’m also going to be holding a Reiki Level one class soon! August or September I haven’t decided yet. There will be a promotion with it, so let me know if your interested!
I’ll be working at the Sunday Market in the Uptown Plaza from 12 pm – 4 pm on Sundays starting July 1st. Hope to see you there!

Sending you all lots of love and light!

New Website

Hello one and all!

It seems I have a habit of posting around the new and full moons when I’m not on a stricter schedule… Hm…

My life is in an intense period of change and growth. I’ve been guided to believe that around my birthday in December it will even out and lessen in intensity. Right now, life is crazy in all ways, and my time needs to be used wisely because there is not a lot of free time.

One of my main experiments in the last couple of days has been sending “love beams” to people. I’ve also learned a bit more about energy work that seems to be essential to practising it safely which is good! And by safely I mean, not using any of your own energy in the process of doing energy work on another. In this case, it was not using my own energy to send a love beam, but sending the Universal energy. The Universal energy is love and goes where I want it to go through my intention.

In my body and energy field the last two weeks I’ve been experiencing shifts. I’ll feel the heart open, or shift to one side, or maybe the root chakra turn to fire, or the solar plexus turn left. It’s been intense, a good intense. So in my downtime I do my best to relax, and let it flow. I know where I am going, and it is going to be AWESOME! It’s scary as hell though to feel through all the junk I’ve been carrying around, but it needs to be done. Just like spring cleaning!

And all the sweat, tears and fighting is paying off! People are noticing how I am a different person. I surprise myself sometimes. One thing a good friend of mine said to me that hit me hard was “That’s a false story. Stop telling yourself false stories. Maybe you were that person in the past, but that’s not you right now.” Now every time I think to myself that I am something, a second question comes with it: Is that true right now? Most of the time it’s no.

I am house-sitting until the middle of August which I am super excited about. I have a place to live relatively stress-free, and to make the gemstone elixirs in.

For Willows Lavender there is a new website! The address is willowslavender.com. Check it out, enjoy it. I’m still working on it and tweaking on it. I’d like to add an online store which has turned into a huge learning curve for me in WordPress. It’s fun though!

Time to fly

Serafina

Hello world!

Welcome to the blog and online home of Willows Lavender!

I’ve imported the posts from Spiral Times that I feel are relevant to this website, just in case you were wondering where all the extra articles came (or the same articles that you’ve read before if that is the case!).

Posts will begin to be made here regularly once I get some personal situations figured out which is hopefully soon. I have plans for articles that I am extremely excited about!!! Some are already written and just need to be edited too!

In the meantime, a short story or two to entertain you!

I created and worked on the elixir, I Am Protected, along with three other elixirs on the same night. I placed them all outside at the same time, and took them all inside at the same time, twenty-four hours later. To my surprise the I Am Protected elixir is the only elixir that I have ever taken back inside where all the words on the jar had not been wiped off by rain! All the other elixirs no longer had the words on them at all.

And another:

This night I created two customer elixirs, including one for myself, and two more for a line. Once again, they were all placed outdoors at the same time and came back at the same time. When I went to gather them though, the jar that had carried the elixir meant for me had travelled halfway across the yard AND emptied itself!

It was the only jar to do so….

My conclusion is that these elixirs have a life of their own, and that I’m working with something bigger here…

Talk soon!

Serafina

The Spiral Change

I’ve done it! I’ve finished my business plan and my request for business seed money has been granted! With endings come new beginnings, and since the completion of my business plan I’ve been very focused on writing and creating this blog. One of my advisers noticed this, and recently in our conversation brought up his surprise as to where I am putting all my attention to.

“Shouldn’t you be more focused on Willows Lavender than your blog at this point? If you focus on many different things, you can only do a little bit at a time, but if you focus on one thing you can get a lot more done in a shorter time period?”

He was right. And so I informed him, that honestly, I just don’t know what the next step is with Willows Lavender. What do I need to do now?

We didn’t come up with an answer because we didn’t know what I needed to do. But this conversation did prompt me to pull some cards before I went to sleep that night. The cards that I pulled were: Inner Power, Self-Reliance, and Quiet Time. I spent some time feeling them and this is what passed through my mind:

Starting and running my own business is a huge step in taking back my power and owning it. I need to be in my power as a business owner.
This business is a way for me to become more self-reliant on myself, learn to find the answers of what I need to do next by myself, for I am full of wisdom if I will listen to it.
Take some time off from working and allow yourself to open to the wisdom wishing to be heard.

I thanked the cards, put them away, and rolled into sleep fully intending to take the next day off to work more with my own inner guidance.
—————–

Spiral Times began in 2009 as an experiment, which each and every post has been since then. It began because I felt a need to share with others my experiences, thoughts, dreams and desires – many of which I have never taken the time to write down and post about. Spiral Times fell aside as life’s many lessons came full blast to me over the next few years until I was once again ready to post, which was last year at the end of 2011.

Never has Spiral Times lost its meaning to me, and today I would like to share with you why this blog is named as such because it is named for a moment that is still very vivid in my mind and that has greatly affected the way that I live and experience life.

In that particular moment, five years ago, my heart was being torn in many different directions. I knew that no matter which way I chose to go I would lose something important to me and so I couldn’t make up my mind in which direction to go. Crying out in despair for help, tears rolling down my face (it was dramatic in my mind so imagine it as so!), I was suddenly transported to another very different place.

I was walking up the slope of a white-blue spiral in a dimensionless and timeless space. The spiral expanded above and below me, and held other people who were also in various stages of ascending or descending. Sometimes they were even sitting or pacing back and forth on the spiral.

At the same time I saw and felt this, I knew that this spiral represented human consciousness. I knew that one could go up or down this spiral in whatever form or fashion one wanted to take. There were no good or bad, and no part of the spiral was better than any other part. However, the higher up the spiral one was the more “truths” one was aware of because the higher up the spiral the more “truths” one had lived. The higher truths encompassed and expanded the lower truths (for lack of me knowing the words that would better explain this experience without judgement I will use lower and higher even though no part on the spiral is better than another). Each person was living their truth, and as such was on the part of the spiral that vibrated to their truth. As each person lived they were making choices to expand or minimize their truth and change where they were on the spiral.

As I felt myself move up the spiral I returned to the living room and watched a spiral dissipate into the air, literally moving up from where I was.

This blog honors that moment that taught me so much so quickly. It was a moment that became the basis of many of my beliefs and that reminds me to argue less, to never try to convince or persuade a person, to bring compassion and understanding to every encounter, to all change to happen as it naturally does in life and with people. As your truth and vibrations change so does your life to match.

And yes, I get lost in the everyday world, and sometimes I’m not able to live these ideals, but the spiral reminds me of these ideals.

As I shift, Spiral Times shifts. Writing here for the last few months has allowed me to come to know what it is exactly that I really want to put on in the world at this moment. What I have been writing here doesn’t belong here. It belongs to Willows Lavender.

And so the Spiral Times is going to shift, make a transition, perhaps even experience a metamorphosis into what I’ve been guided that it needs to be.

On May 1st I will post again to inform you of any updates, and hopefully the Spiral Times will resume its journey anew at that time.

Until then,
Adios.

Who is Mirroring You?

What do the people around you reflect?

Many times I’ve come across the concept that the other people that I encounter are mirrors for what’s happening within me. The first time I encountered the phrase I sat back and contemplated it, rolling the phrase “People are mirrors for your inner self.” I knew it was important, but I didn’t quite understand it or realize it.

For many years after I tried to grasp the concept, tried to feel what it means for others to be a mirror of myself or to be a mirror for the person. I think once the concept is fully realized in a person will change the whole person’s behavior and the way they interact with people. Once fully realized, a person can see or feel the sweeping undertows of an interaction with another person and what is truly going on in a situation.

A small piece of Maya or illusion is removed.

Sometimes my brain has a very hard time conceptualizing a particular concept. This was one such concept. My brain twisted and bent as it strived to make sense of people mirroring me for a few years now. Often I would meet a person and do my best to see what was being mirrored back at me only to not be able to find anything at all. I would be asking the question: “What is it that I don’t like about them? What is it that annoys me?”

And if they were really annoying or infuriating to me I would say to myself, “Oh God, seriously? I really hope I am not like that at all!”

It was rare that the mirror would spawn deep reflection – my brain hurt – until I finally realized a small part of the concept just last month: Whatever I get annoyed about, I am. This was beautifully shown to me by the Universe and a friend of mine. I was complaining to her about how some people make plans: “They leave it all up in the air and I never know if we are actually going to meet or not! And I get so confused sometimes!”

My friend said: “You do that too.”

Stunned, my words died in midsentence. “What? When?”

She proceeded to give me several examples of when I had done the exact thing I was complaining about.

And it hit me: I am what I complain about.

Last week I witnessed a woman who was reflecting parts of me that I don’t like to look at or accept within myself. Because I refused to look at this aspect of me my reaction to her became stronger and stronger as I fought it – I wasn’t looking at my victim state because I wasn’t being a victim therefore why should I look there?

Deeper reflection over time revealed that there are still areas of my life where the victim mentality comes into play. By allowing myself to have a victim mentality and not being on guard of my mental patterns I step out of my personal power. I don’t take full responsibility for my life, giving it away to whatever fits in that moment of time.

Something else I have recently noticed is that in all the mirrors I’ve ever looked at, I was always trying to find what was wrong with me. I was always asking the wrong questions. I believe that asking those questions was part of the reason that I had such a hard time conceptualizing the idea – I didn’t believe that a person could mirror positive aspects of me too.

The Universe is not a tyrant.

The Universe is expressed in my reality right now as a duality – there is positive and there is negative and therefore mirrors in my life express both. Mirrors can be a positive experience!

Mirrors can be positive and beautiful too, just like you!

Realizing the other part – that you are a mirror for others – can change interactions with others as well. There are times when I have been hanging out with a person and something gets triggered. From my perspective I’ve done nothing to provoke or annoy the person, yet something happened for them that wasn’t pleasant.

Understanding that I may have mirrored for another an aspect they hate allows more acceptance and compassion to flow from me to them. Having experienced my own reaction to someone innocently reflecting one of my most undesirable aspects of myself in my opinion, I can totally empathize with a person who receives the same from me.

When a reaction like this happens, if a person is able to be conscious and allow the reaction to happen without judgment more clarity for both people can be attained. The person on the receiving end is able to step back from the situation and stay calm. He is able to practice allowance, his own wisdom and compassion. He needs to be able to decipher what is going in the situation – is he a mirror, or is he something more? How can he best respond to this situation? Does the reactor need space?

Sometimes the only thing the receiver can do is accept it. Sometimes the receiver must intervene. I would love to one day have the ability to take all with calmness and yet give out exactly what the other person needs to learn what the Universe is trying to teach, just like the story of a monk who threw his shoe at a student to make a point, or Jesus turning the merchants tables over in the temple in anger. (I’m sure most traditions have similar stories that I’d love to hear about as they bring a smile to my lips).

The person reacting needs to be able to fully react without judgment or fear, and learn from his reaction by having the space to process what happened and why. This must processing must be done on the reactors own terms and in his own time.

I feel like this happens quite often on a less extreme scale in many of my interactions with people, and part of the reason why I don’t want to respond to certain people or vice versa. I truly believe that every encounter with another is a learning opportunity. If I could use them all without being overwhelmed or driven crazy, I would! 🙂

P.S. Pictures in today’s blog posts were not taken by me. Click the image to go to the owners Flickr portfolio.

Self-Acceptance

The world is a wonderful harmonious place. It is full of sunshine, rainbows, and faeries. There are little Unicorns traipsing along the rainbows if you look close enough, and the fey regularly come out to happily play. The trees reach up into the sky unremittingly, the birds chirp joyously, and the plants all around us innocently grow. Humans help each other whenever possible and listen empathetically when appropriate. Time doesn’t matter so there is no rush to accomplish anything because it is all completed right on Universal time. Laughter and joy permeate in the air around us. Kindness and generosity are regular occurrences. There is naught a harmful intention in the air for all is cared for and wonderful to bear.

This is what my brain naturally thinks of the world before I leave my bed. Then I get up. Reality is very far from the perfect fairy tale world that I like to think I live in.

I have been told over and over and over again certain things: The way I think is wrong. I am naive. The world doesn’t work that way. People aren’t kind and generous. I can’t trust people. Helping people is not worth the time nor expense – they are all trying to get something from you. Happiness is not possible unless you have lots of money. And yet money doesn’t buy you happiness.

Most of my life I’ve thought that I am weird. I view the world differently and that, I’m told, is a “bad” thing. I’ve allowed all of the thoughts listed above, and my beliefs about myself that are based on other peoples thoughts to stop my natural tendencies, personality, and who I am from being shown. By doing that I allowed my power to be taken away.

Now that I am in the process of taking back my power and stepping into it there is much to learn and many thought patterns that will gradually be reformed. One thing that I have noticed is that when I am centred into my heart and grounded the outside worlds opinions don’t matter nearly as much, and I am able to confidently spread my joy and heart openly.

When I was in grade one or two I had my first jarring experience of not being accepted. My parents had enrolled me in a Christian private school that was rather extreme in a lot of their views and actions unknown to my parents at the time. What my parents were concerned about was the high quality of education provided by the school, which it definitely provided.

In class we had been asked if our parents were Christians. I didn’t raise my hand because my parents weren’t “Christians” by the schools definition of the word. The next day during the first recess I was approached by a group of girls. The leader of the group asked me “Is it true that your parents aren’t Christians?”

I, excruciatingly shy, nodded, surprised to be surrounded by so many people. The leader then informed me: “My mommy says I can’t play with you because your parents aren’t Christians.” The other girls nodded, and all of them walked away. I distinctly remember the feeling of shock, disappointment and confusion.

Reflecting on this memory illustrates to me that non-acceptance is taught or learned. It is a belief or thought pattern that until otherwise expressed most children would not think other than total acceptance of what is, whether that be a person, idea, animal, etc.

At first I thought self-acceptance was a value made up of a collection of beliefs, but now I’ve decided that self-acceptance is the sum of deeply ingrained beliefs. If a person lacks self-acceptance this shows with various statements that tell what the person thinks of themselves or believes about themselves. The same goes if a person has self-acceptance.

The beliefs that dictate if we will or can accept ourselves for who we are define what we think of ourselves. All of these beliefs and self-acceptance rest energetically within the solar plexus chakra. Therefore, self-acceptance is directly tied to and effects self-esteem, body image, stepping into one’s power and self-confidence.

Hug yourself! Your beautiful too!

Some of the beliefs that may contribute to not accepting ourselves are:

“I can’t do that because its too hard”

“I am too stupid”

“I am too fat”

Versus

“I am capable of working hard to achieve what I want.”

“I am intelligent. It is okay to make mistakes.”

“I am beautiful the way I am.”

The last couple of weeks I struggled with my own issues of self-acceptance. There were many people who came into my life who were mirrors for aspects of myself that I don’t really care to think about or look at. In fact, sometimes I refuse to look at those aspects. When the aspects of myself are mirrored and I find myself reacting strongly to the person mirroring the aspect I know that I am not accepting something of me.

One woman last week stood out in particular. When I saw this woman, I saw me. When I saw her victim state I saw mine. And this was repulsive to me. She was a reminder of a part of me, of who I had been at one point in my life, and I really did not like it. This was a part of myself that I found hard to look at never mind love. It was much easier to ignore that part of me and pretend that it had never happened.

And so I question: Is a person whole only when they accept all parts of themselves?

A person is whole when they are able to accept the fact that they are going to cry, be angry, be upset, have bad days, have bad hair, and that they have a “shadow side”. Sometimes we are going to think “bad” things, we are going to make judgments on ourselves or others, do things that we are going to regret. And all of that is okay. It is all part of our human experience and all part of our own personal journeys.

Boundaries and the Solar Plexus

I was looking for fences, and I found this stone fence sticking out from between two wood fences. When I took the picture I discovered the face... and contemplate more...

This is something that I have personally have a lot of trouble with, though I am far better now than I ever have been. It has taken a long time for

me to understand exactly what a boundary is, what it feels like (which is can be a necessity to me in understanding things fully) and how I encounter them.

When I left Winnipeg I recall Grams telling me that I have no boundaries. At the time I was slightly miffed to hear that, insulted even. Of course I had boundaries! Everyone has boundaries! That statement brought into my awareness boundaries and boundary setting and began my attempts of understanding what she was talking back.

Now I look back and I can see that I really didn’t have boundaries. I barely have boundaries today – though they are formulating and shaping themselves as I become more aware of what I want, like and need.

Not working the last few months I’ve floated along with life as everyone else – aka people who I love and are very close to me – deals with their busy schedules and lives. I’ve gotten bored, unmotivated, tired of working, and also found it very easy to schedule my activities around their lives.

So I’ve been around and very available.

My close friends have gotten used to me being available, and I love interacting with them. Lately, I’ve been highly motivated to finish up the projects that I’m working on by the end of March at the latest. This creates a crossroads for me – set my boundary and restrict my time with these people, or “float”.

Now they are the perfect people to practice setting boundaries with! Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I succeed, but my successes are becoming greater than the fails. Here are some things that I noticed about boundaries as I contemplated them this past week.

I fear creating and setting boundaries. Deep down inside I am scared that if I set one the other person will never want to speak to me again. It’s unrealistic and not true. I counter this fear with the belief that people like people who have boundaries – it makes you less passive and people feel comfortable because decisions are made mutually by taking into account both people’s needs, wants and likes.

Boundaries require awareness of who I am in the physical. A lot of the cues that I get that a boundary is being violated by me or another person is given in my physical body. There’s an intuitive thought or “alarm” followed by dissociating from my body. As I practice staying in my body, it’s becoming more obvious to me when I’ve disassociated. At those times I need to reach back into my body and focus on my breath.

Energetically, boundaries have a lot to do with taking back my power and controlling my life. This stems from an imbalance in the Solar Plexus chakra or energy center (you can read a post on here on MommyMystics website about what the chakras are), and most likely accounts for the pains and shifts that occur in my digestive/solar plexus area.

This is also coincides with the guidance I’ve been feeling and receiving messages of: Its time to take the power back in my life, to stand up for what

Stepping up into my power.

my needs and wants are. By setting boundaries I take control of my life and what happens instead of passively letting the river take me wherever it wants to go. Now I see this and understand it.

When my boundaries are set and stay in place I feel centered and grounded. Overall generally more at ease with life and what is going on with me. I feel like myself, and in my body. My stress level remains low because I feel that I am accomplishing everything that I need and want to do, plus experiencing what I want out of life.

I’ve learned that when I have set healthy boundaries on an energetic level the world around me does not drive me half as crazy. By shielding (imagining I am in a bubble of sorts), sometimes in multiple layers and colors, I am able to enter a Future Shop without getting a headache within ten minutes, or go to Walmart without becoming overwhelmed by the sheer volume of energy.

With healthy boundaries I am able to speak with people inside and outside of sessions without taking on their energy, emotions or feelings. I can feel my little bubble reflecting off the little bullets of emotions and thoughts. This makes me feel good about myself, which in turn increases my self-esteem. Aha, I think I’m getting it now how self-esteem works and is created… A to-do list doesn’t cut it for me.

Now that I have identified what it feels like to have boundaries and what I feel like when I don’t, reflection brings forth the next question: How am I going to better implement healthy boundaries in my life, and step further into my power?

My answer at this point: Improve communication skills. Awareness. Practice. Your suggestions are welcome.

Communication

Mike and I went to the park. There was a peacock. Random.

Hello!

Today I have some business updates, and a smaller article on communication for you. Skip down to the article by clicking here!

I am super excited to announce that as of April 1^st I am working out of Simple Remedies here in Victoria! I’m renting a room on Wednesdays, and will happily book your appointment for Reiki! Shoot me an email or call me at 250-213-1252! 🙂

The room is not really set up for Card Readings. There is a small table that I can do a small reading on, however it is not yet the most comfortable set up so I may still need to find space for readings, especially for larger readings like the Year Circle Spread. I’d prefer to do that out of a store that sells metaphysical goods like Instinct or Avalon, so please let me know if you see anywhere that may be of interest. 🙂

I’m in the final stages of writing my business plan, which I plan to finish up by the end of this weekend – leaving only the Executive Summary to write. Next week I’ll be out and about checking out financing options at various places I’ve been hearing about including Community Microlending and Women’s Enterprise Center.

Now on to the Article!

Last year as my travels began I become more and more aware of how people communicate and the differences even in just provinces. My awareness extended to how I communicate with others, and how people feel about my style. Sometimes I might even catch a person “jumping” when I use certain words because of the harshness of that word.

Notably different here on the West Coast, especially Vancouver Island, is the softness in which people speak. Generally speaking, its soft tones with soft words with soft sentences. Its like people are composing a poem, yet its not quite a poem. Its feminine.

People in Winnipeg and Manitoba are much different in our mannerisms and the way we communicate. We are very straightforward and our language is harsher. I would say that it is a more masculine way of speaking.

This year I wanted to work on my communication skills, because I know that I have issues with communication sometimes. So I asked the Universe to teach me, and it brought me to Victoria BC. Now, I wasn’t expecting to move into an entire city that among many of it’s lessons for me would bring communication lessons, but it has.

At times it frustrates me. A lot.

What I’m finding is that I’m meeting many people who speak with soft tones, words and sentences. The language feels good. It sounds good. It’s fluttery and as beautiful as a butterfly. No matter what is said, how can I take offence?

Then I leave.

Confused. Usually very confused.

I have no idea what just happened except that I had a conversation with a person and now I’m very confused. Did we actually come to a conclusion on anything we spoke of? Are we actually going to meet again? Do they want to meet with me again? What is going on?

My emotional state during that conversation does not actually rise or fall. Their words have no effect on me either way. They are not particularly inspiring or uplifting even though they are soft. They don’t bring me down either. In short: This new language does nothing for me.

I understand that there is a belief that the words that you use attract things to you, as do thoughts based on their vibrations. The higher your word choices vibrate at naturally one would think that the quality of things/people you are attracting to you would be also vibrating at a higher rate. I don’t disagree with this. It is true. However, there is a WHOLE science and art form to this.

It goes beyond word choice.

Blooming into myself.

Many people don’t realize – as they’ve only been introduced to the very basic concepts of this art form through such places as The Secret, and through Abraham Hicks, that the Art of Manifestation has been studied for centuries and goes back thousands and thousands of years. It is an art that few have been able to master completely. It takes training of the mind, of the emotions, of every aspect of yourself.

Wording and the words you choose are important, but also are the emotions behind the words that are equally as important. Words are the messengers of the emotions that we feel. They are the way we express our feelings, wants and needs. They can take on our emotions and free them in a way that nothing else can. The emotion behind Martin Luther King, Jr. I have a Dream speech is what made his words so powerful and inspiring. It makes you want to listen to his words.

Many times I’ve not paid attention to my words, and not thought they were a big deal. I could simply tune into the feeling behind what the person is saying. That feeling is more important to me because it is the Truth behind the words. That feeling tells me what the person’s intent is. As I float through life, I see that words become so important because many people no longer have that ability to tune into these feelings. I believe that ability is a natural human birthright.

And when I am not in a state of clarity it is much harder for me to tune into the feeling fully, especially with the world moving so fast.

When I’m talking with a person, I want to leave that person feeling good about themselves, their worlds, their life, and the Universe. I want to inspire people to live better lives, and to see that there are truly good people. I want to show people the magic that is around us, always, just waiting to be seen. And I want people to experience what it is like to be loved, truly, wholey, and completely, with no expectations of them at all.

Yes, I have much to learn with communication. I am learning to choose my words better through listening to the people who live in Victoria. I am learning how to speak in a gentler way. I am learning what the strengths and weaknesses of masculine and feminine language are. The lessons of communication are abundant and intriguing.

Now I must delve back into my latest book of reading choice, “Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Compassion” by Marshall B. Rosenberg. There will be a book review on it in the near future!

Have an awesome day!

P.S. All pictures on today’s post were taken by Mike, and edited by me. Fun times!! 🙂

Twin Flames and Authentic Spirituality

This week was a rather slow week for me in the realm of doing things. I did a lot of thinking, and spent a lot of time formulating possible future plans for my business and where I would like it to go. Among a few key realizations I have a funny serious story to share with you! It’s kind of long, but I hope you enjoy it!

Inside this box that sits on my alter is two skeletons, together in love forever.

Last Thursday I had an Angel Card Reading that I had won. The reader was very good at what she does. It was an eye-opening experience for me. Before that reading I had always thought that my readings weren’t good enough, they weren’t as good as other peoples readings. It is definitely a line of thought that stems within my own family (the thought of not being good enough), and a thought pattern that is not helpful. After the reading I realized that my readings are just as good and as worthy as other people’s readings.

That was huge for me.

The reading was also a confirmation that I am on the “right” path. It also stewed up a bunch of stuff inside of me. She pulled the Twin Flame card. I tell you this because it directly relates to another knowing that completely formulated itself last night. Well, the Twin Flame card gets pulled, and she gets all excited, “You are going to meet your Twin Flame!”.

For those unfamilar with the term Twin Flame is considered the person to be your other half, the person who completes you, the ultimate partner. The connection is said to be very strong and fairly rare though more joinings are happening at this time more than any other time in history. It is said that when the Twin Flames join it is because they have a mission to accomplish on the planet for the good of all beings and it will be their last time reincarnated on this planet. There’s a lot of information on them on the web, my favorite piece on Twin Flames is the song Origin of Love by Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If your Twin Flame is not incarnate on the planet at the same time you are it, it is said that they are on the other side helping you as much as they can.

Back to the story! She’s excited, but when she see’s my face she realizes that I’m already in a partnership and her first question is: “Is he spiritual?”. My response is no. She then tells me that I’m going to meet my Twin Flame in a little while from now, and it’s so exciting, she’s been trying to meet her Twin Flame for a while now, and blah blah blah. For myself this is not exciting. In fact, it makes me angry and very upset.

I had decided years ago that I don’t have a Twin Flame because I feel like the idea messes with the relationships that are in my life right now. My mind begins to try to decipher if the person I’m with is a Twin Flame, and if not, then I find myself distancing myself from the relationship. Thus I decided that my Twin Flame is not living on the planet, therefore I do not have to worry about meeting him! However in the last six months I’ve had a few different messages that a Twin Flame is coming. This reading was the final straw!

I wrote an angry letter to the my Twin Flame and his Guardians basically stating that if he comes into my life it better be for good, because the term already messes with my head, and I won’t have that happening in the physical realm either. I “mailed” it to him by burning the letter, and after a minor freak-out made the decision that I would continue to believe I don’t have a Twin Flame incarnate on the planet at this time.

A flower I felted this week as I contemplated.

Why? Because I am an idealist. Because I believe that relationships with a significant other can provide huge learning opportunities, and can accelerate personal growth. Because I grew up with Disney movies, and a part of me wants to believe that a perfect knight armour is alive and meant just for me, all I have to do is wait for him. Because I choose to give myself entirely to the relationship that I have now, no question about it. I refuse to withhold any part of myself, “just in case”. Because my mind doesn’t need any fuel to screw me over.

As the week went I kept contemplating this. Something didn’t seem entirely right to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I began talking about this incident and some of my observations of men in my life. Something wasn’t sitting right with me. Then I spoke to the right person, one of my good friends. She said to me that my partner is spiritual, its just a different form of spirituality from what I’ve experienced. I didn’t get it. I spoke to Grams, and she said a similar thing. I still didn’t get it. But I kept trying!

And as I spoke to my best friend about it last night the realization occurred. People often in get lost in the doing of spirituality, the doing meditation, yoga, and other “spiritual” practices. Spirituality is not something that can be “done” but rather it is something that happens. It happens when a person knows themselves, is connected to themselves, and is therefore authentically them. A spiritual person is a person who is authentically being.

The practices themselves don’t really matter (they can be helpful), its the authenticity that the person operates from that does matter. Just because a person meditates, or does yoga, or any other “spiritual” practice it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are upholding stronger and clearer values than a person who doesn’t do any. I’ve definitely witnessed much of the opposite in my lifetime – people using those practices as an excuse to do what they want. This makes me happy because I no longer feel like I should be doing this or that. I feel like there is more acceptance in my heart now and more understanding.

And with that,

Have a great week!