Sleep Paralysis, Trauma, and Entities | Spiritual Emergency Symptom

The other night a friend of mine told me a story. She told me others found it hard to believe what she was telling me. She told me of sleep paralysis and experiencing black figures in the room. She found out later, looking back, that she was experiencing a spiritual emergency and it was a way for her to process trauma within her own life.

As I listened to her story it sounds remarkably like my own story. I’ve had several instances that terrify me so badly I purposely keep myself awake for a night or two after the experience. I never knew someone else had experienced it, too! The experiences always seem to happen randomly, but after hearing my friends story, I began to wonder if it happened when I was working through trauma like she was.

It always happens the same. I go to bed as per usual. Suddenly I wake up, wide awake, but  I can’t move my body. I am frozen and can’t make a noise no matter how hard I try to scream. There are one or more black figures in the room, usually on top of me. I can feel them and sometimes I can see them. They are always silent and they always have an intent to hurt me. One time I felt one pressing against my throat so I couldn’t breathe. Another time I felt it wanted to rape me.

The best way I’ve figured out how to handle these experiences is to close my eyes, and start to breathe deeply with a goal to get back into my body. I begin to will with all my might my fingers or toes to move because if I can get a body part to move I am instantly back in my body. 

After I usually turn on all of the lights and my body is shaking. I won’t sleep for the rest of that night.

I remember to times specifically when I was working through trauma I experienced this including one this past year. While I was practising Kirtan Kriya it was a little bit different than the previous experiences in the sense that there was a Being at the foot of my bed who projected the image of a heart into my mind while my body felt like it had electricity running through it. It didn’t try to kill me but I was still didn’t sleep for two nights after.

Another time was when I first moved to the West Coast and was volunteering at Hollyhock on Cortes Island. I had a wonderful place to stay. My time there was a vortex – the house I shared was with nine other healers. All we did in our spare time was trade sessions. We woke up at six am and meditated before breakfast. We counselled each other. It was a life changing place in more than one way, and I remember in the middle of the night one time, experiencing the sleep paralysis with a black being on top of me ready to rape me.

No one really knew what to make of the experience, including myself, but I had begun to wonder about these black shapes. I know and recognize the mind is a powerful tool that needs to be respected and that I need to learn how to use properly. I began to wonder if these black beings were apparitions created by the mind of my worst fears. I began to wonder if maybe they were thought forms I had created somehow. 

Looking back in my life I see that these experiences came often when I was in the middle of a big emotional shift and doing a lot of work and personal healing on myself. It seems to be a sign that I am undergoing something big in my life and to pay attention. I also noticed I learned how to calmly respond to the situation even though it terrifies me.

It taught me the power of my breath and of being inside my body. It taught me about my will power because I have to connect to my will in order to move my fingers or toes when this happens. It taught me to be courageous. It taught me not to believe what my mind creates. It taught me that fears can truly have power over me if I let them.

I still have fears from the traumas experienced and I have a general lack of trust in the world because of those experiences but I have also spent a long time shifting those things.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis like this before? How do you work through or cope with your fears from trauma?

Research/Links
Spirituality and Trauma
Spiritual Sleep Paralysis
Sleep Paralysis and Spirits
Spiritual Emergence Network

P.S. When I was searching for a picture for this post I opened up the one in it now and noticed beside me a spider the size of a penny making his way toward me ON MY BED. I kicked him out (not kill him) and decided to use this butterfly picture.

Company Updates & Patreon Account

This post is just to update you to some changes.

REFERRAL GIFTS!

As of today there is a new policy in place for all my customers. If you refer a client who makes a purchase of over $50, you will receive $20 towards your next purchase at Willow’s Lavender. Yay!

TEN PERCENT

As of June 01, 2014 I began to implement what I’ve always wanted to implement: ten percent of all company proceeds are gifted back to the community in form of a donation to a charitable organization. The donations will be gifted out in $250 chunks for now.

The donations will be going to the following at this moment in time: Bridges for Women (Victoria Location), and Karma Teachers.

PATREON ACCOUNT 

To support my creative side I’ve created a Patreon Account. Much of what I perceive to be my lifes work intermingle together. Your donation to the Patreon Campaign will allow me to create video Crystal Forecasts again, start creating video Crystal Bytes for you to learn about crystals, will support me creating an online crystal course, and more!

Check out the campaign here! 

Embodying the Priestess | Canada Day Magic

Artist: Katia Honour

Artist: Katia Honour

On Canada Day I was very excited to be working a high-end party in Downtown Vancouver. I was hired to do readings for two hours. It was the perfect opportunity for me to dress up and embody the Priestess that I am. The Priestesses work is varied and often Priestesses have a particular skill or ability that they enjoy doing and specialize in. In Indian Culture there are 64 Arts Priestesses used to be trained in that range from dancing, singing, and flower arranging to carpentry, architecture, and word crafting. If anything every happened the Priestess would be prepared to take care of herself and she would be a valued member of society.

The Priestess in my opinion is a representative of the Divine Feminine. When she is doing her work she is literally a conduit of that energy and a perfect representation of Source energy. It is why she is accurate and potent in her work and how she can be so “tapped in”. When I work at a party  like this, it is one of my favourite things, because I get to dress up and be that representative of the Divine and hold space in a way I don’t get to often do. It is a sacred space, and I open myself to allow the perfection of Divine Flow to work through me when I am in this space.

As per the Divine Flow I broke my phone on my way to the party rendering it inoperable. It was dropped as my friend tied my dress for the party. I worked for two hours, reading after reading non-stop, due to the line up of clients. On the last reading I did my dress broke, a signal to me that there would be no more readings that day. I changed into the extra dress I had brought (thank god for intuition!) and was surprised how much my energy changed just based on the dress I wore.

It took me a few hours to come back into my body fully, and when I did, I came back with joy and gratitude for this beautiful experience and opportunity to embody the Priestess, something that I love, and hope to do more of as I continue my studies and practice.  Such gratitude. <3

P.S. I was talking with a Priestess friend of mine and we have both agreed that there needs to be a clothing line of Priestess wear for ceremonial use. I am starting to collect ideas as I’d love to make this line a reality in the future, within the next five to ten years, but I have a lot to learn by then. I would love to hear if you have any Priestess clothing links to stores and jewellery people!

Crystal Forecast May 25th – 31st | Green Tourmaline “Enlightenment”

 May 25th – 31st

Lifting the veils of illusion to come into more and deeper truth and authenticity is Green Tourmaline, subtitled “Enlightenment”. This is a wonderful card to end with this heart centred month. This card tells me that there is a time for truth and that time is now. It tells me that we are travelling through the Joy of the higher heart and now going deeper into the depths of our heart.

We are on a cycle where we go every deeper and deeper into the heart until it extends to our throat and our solar plexus. We then find ourselves aligning all three of those energy centres. We find that effortlessly and with ease the root and third eye take care of themselves, opening up and finding the balancing. Our bodies start to beat again to the Mother’s heart beat.

It is the reintroduction of boundless love that we shall find ourselves shifting into the communities we desire. Changes start at home and extend outwards. They always start within even when we don’t realize it and extend outwards to the rest of the world around us.

I feel that deep truths will be looked at and many subtle shifts will occur due to that deep truth. I feel that many of us will be impressed with our own wisdom that pours forth. I feel that deep resonance will be found for ourselves in the outward expression of our lives.

Crystals for Opiate Addictions

Pills.I am not a doctor yet I often have clients come with medical questions. Before you read this article here is my disclaimer: I am not a doctor and do not have medical training and therefore cannot give medical advice.

I have found five minerals that may be beneficial for those working with Opiate addictions. Each one works in a little bit of a different way and I imagine that as a person heals themselves from this addiction they will go through different phases that will require a different mineral to help them if they so choose.

1) Iolite – This stone came up over and over again in my research on addictions. Iolite helps open up your vision and see the cause of your addiction and release it. It can help you see where you want to go and how to get there. It helps in all parts of releasing addiction from finding the self-knowledge, to releasing it, to rebuilding life after the addiction is gone. It helps you to express who you really are and to release the expectations of others.

Iolite is one of my personal favourite stones. It has helped me with empowerment, with taking care of myself in ways that ensure I don’t reach out for escapism and helped me focus on what is healthy for me.

2) Amethyst – Amethyst seems to be one of the most versatile minerals one the planet right now because of its ability to transmute. It is infamous for this ability and comes up continuously in my research again. It will take pain and negative energy and transmute it into love. When healing with addictions I recommend that this mineral be cleared often, even weekly. I have used this mineral to help transmute cravings as well.

To transmute cravings hold the mineral and in time with your breath breathe in the energy of amethyst. On your out breath see the craving or pain entering the amethyst you are holding. Continue breathing this circuit of energy until the craving or pain shifts. It will shift. Or you will receive clear guidance on what would be most beneficial for you to do. Strongly recommend that after you do this meditation you clear the crystal asap.

I also feel what wearing this crystal with citrine is very helpful. Citrine is one of the few minerals that automatically clears energies so wearing a citrine with amethyst touching means you never have to work about consciously clearing the amethyst.

3) Fluorite – This stone is infamous for its dealings with the mind. It helps clear away all the fog and lies that you might tell yourself. It allows you to see reality for what what it really is. It helps you to work through the different layers of the mind and come to a solid understanding of self and how you work. It can help you make decisions that will better your life, organize it, and implement your creativity in a way that works.

4) Labradorite – What a potent and fascinating stone. Labradorite is heavy. Heavy in the sense that it is grounding while allowing us to work with our own shadow aspects in an easy and gentle manner. It is an important part of the healing process to take a look at the depth and the roots of whatever is going on for you, especially in addictions, and see them clearly. Labradorite will attract synchronicities into your life as well.

One of the reasons labradorite is so potent for doing shadow work is because it has a very strong protective field that enhances your own protective field from the inside out. It actually creates a safe space for you to look at that internal structure, your own duality, your own reckless or self-sabotaging behaviors.

5) Pink Kunzite – One of my all time favourite stones! Pink Kunzite is a powerful heart activator and is considered one of the most needed Ascension stones on the planet right now by some. It helps you harness your own power and come into your heart. It will help to alleviate stress and anxiety and is ideal for PTSD. It can help you release the need to control things and relax into the fact that you cannot control everything. It will help you release emotional blocks and traumas. It aids in positive thinking, the release of depression, and harmonization of your energies.

What are your experiences with these minerals? Have you worked with any of them in your own healing with addictions?

Crystal Forecast May 18th – 24th | Peridot “The Bringer of Joy”

 May 18th – 24th

Peridot, “The Bringer of Joy” arrives! And indeed! That is what it feels like! It feels like this week all the concerns and worries you had are lifted away, gone with the wind, and now that you have your plan and everything else in order, you are ready to just relax and let things flow!

Enjoy the sunshine and all those things that give you joy. Make it a priority this week to experience your joy at least once a day. No less, and hopefully ten times more of that joy will come to you. And you will find the plans you set the week before are moving at a speed unprecedented as you give them your joyful thoughts and your heart peace.

This is another heart-ful week and I see romances coming together, becoming strengthened. I see celebrations happening. I see lots of sunshine. I see that there is a shift again in planetary energies leading to a light heart and dancing. Enjoy it.

When Your Angry Grab These Crystals!

Crystals to Help You Work with Anger

Anger is a complicated emotion in my experience. For a long time I really feared it, and I still do fear anger in others. My first desire when I experience anger in myself or others is to run for the hills until the storm passes. But that is not the best way to deal with anger. It must be experienced and respected for what it is. It is like any other emotion that comes and goes but for some reason is less accepted than other strong emotions humans experience in our day to day lives – happiness, sadness, depression, judgement.

This leaves many of us in an odd position of having anger and not knowing how to experience, release or express it in a healthy and positive way. Instead, many of us will bottle down the anger to explode at a later date. Or we will hide it carefully, deeply within us, carefully placing layers and layers on top of the feelings. Then there are those that let the anger flow right through them terrifying the rest of us!

carnelian3

Working with Fire

I have used one of the most fiery stones to help me understand and experience anger in a positive way: Carnelian. Carnelian is a deep, passionate, strong stone that will bring your anger to the forefront so that you can experience it. It moves your anger so you can see it and know yourself at a deeper level. Carnelian and I worked together closely for my journey of releasing and learning about the anger I experience in my life. It gave me a courage I didn’t feel that I had, and soothed my fears around experiencing this emotion. It let me go deep and know that I wasn’t going to get lost in it.

Overwhelming Feelings

I remember when I was working through the deeply bottled anger I had collected throughout my life. I suddenly was experiencing bursts that would go through my whole body. My adrenaline would be activated, heat waves and tremors would shake my body, I could get so lost in how it felt that I could not speak it was such an overwhelming experience for me. And it often would come out of nowhere at the most random of times. Once I got used to it – I felt like a fireball for a few months becoming randomly angry at the smallest things – I learned how to experience anger with wisdom.

By this I mean I learned how to utilize it for what anger is good for – standing up for yourself. Making sure you and another person know when something has gone too far. Giving you strength and courage to stand up for what is right for not just yourself but others. I knew I had learned this when I got into a fight with an ex boyfriend of mine. We were having an argument on the phone when he said something that just made me furious. Beyond furious. I didn’t say a word. I hung up on him and hopped on my bike. He lived a ten minute bike ride away and I arrived still boiling. He had tried calling several times and I ignored all of them.

Sugilite-Tumbled-Stones-29-TPS

Transmuting the Anger

Sugilite and Amethyst were other major minerals I used to help me in my process. Both of these crystals are noted as transmuters. What’s interesting is that Amethyst is resonant to and carries the Violet Flame of St. Germain. This is a major purifier of old and new energies that no longer serve us. It releases patterns we no longer need to keep replaying. Amethyst will help us find new ways of experiencing things and help establish new patterns within our life.

Sugilite is noted as a mineral that works directly with transmuting rage and anger. It is also noted, and I used it for this aspect, to work with the inner child. It gives an ease of access to the inner child and there were often times when my journey working specifically with anger that I would feel my inner child, and witness my inner child either screaming with rage or running away as fast as she could. My work with this mineral allowed me to tap into this aspect of self and even have conversations with her. It helped me to find healthy ways to shift my anger into something beautiful like artwork or writing.

Powerfully Using Anger

I very intentionally went up the stairs to his door, and knocked. He opened the door and didn’t know what to do. I stepped in, looked at him straight in the eyes, and said in a very low voice trembling with the anger I felt towards him, “If you ever say anything like that again to me, you will never see me again. You will never be allowed to speak with me. You will never know that I was in your life.”. Instead of running away from anger – both mine and his – I had gone directly into it. I had faced and experienced both mine and his.

Howilite

Eliminating Anger

Howlite is an amazing mineral that works to eliminate anger and rate. How does it do this? In my experience it is a purifier which is a little bit different than a transmuter. When you are wearing Howlite it is automatically “taking” it away from you very much like an air purifier. Howlite helps you to act in alignment with your highest self no matter what is going on around or inside of you. It able to help you keep clear sight and keep your centre and base your decisions on what is best for all involved.

Graduation

Ever since then I’ve been able to experience my anger and the anger of others with less fear. I still go on my tip-toes but I can stand it. Sometimes I feel like I am a wooden post withstanding the torrents of the ocean and rain. And it feels like a good thing.

In my experience of my own anger, a lot of it had to do with traumas I’ve experienced in life and with self-forgiveness. Along with carnelian, rose quartz was a constant companion. In fact I slept with a large rose quartz ball for almost two years! Rose quartz was very important to my journey because it is a crystal that helps to forgive oneself and others. It opens up the door to fall in love with yourself. It helps you come into your own love for life. And to release anything that gets in the way because you don’t need it!

Anger will tie up and block the heart chakra. Rose quartz will unknot it and take down the walls slowly and gently. You don’t need it. All we need is love.

Meditation Suggestions

Meditate with Carnelian, Howlite or Blue Kyanite. Blue Kyanite is often used to clear blockages inside the energetic system and can be used on any chakras though it is mostly resonant with the throat and heart in my experience. You can meditate with each stone individually by just holding it in your left hand if you wish, or you can meditate with all three stones. I am wary of all three stones because it feels like a very potent and powerful combination – the only “cooling” stone in the mix is Howlite. To meditate with all three place the stones in a grid around you or on you in key spots – put one mineral on your heart and hold the other two, etc.

To meditate with Sugilite and the only child I suggest you find somewhere comfortable. Tune into the crystal by focusing on how it feels wherever your holding it. Does it pulsate? Is it cold? Does it buzz? Then ask the mineral to help you speak with your inner child. Imagine yourself taking 21 steps towards your inner child. When you arrive on the 21st step imagine her/him waiting for you. Take note of the surroundings your inner child has put him/her in and approach him/her. At this point you can have a conversation with your inner child and when you wish to leave you can take the 21 steps “out” and come back to your body.

If you do a laying of hands crystal session on yourself or another you may wish to place blue kyanite on the heart/solar plexus, rose quartz on the heart, Larimar on the throat, moss agate on your root. Moss agate and Larimar are calming agents. They slowly clean and clear and connect you deeply to nature. They help to gently heal traumas and hurting hearts.

Crystal Forecast May 11th – 17th | Flourite “Mental Mastery”

 May 11th – 17th

Flourite, subtitled “Mental Mastery” is the card that flows for this week. This card strikes me with the purple that is on it, and indeed, that purple is deep. It goes deep into the core of us and lifts us up, just the colour of flourite. Cubes built on cubes in structure, it helps us to create the building blocks we need in our lives to get to where we want to go. It helps us create plans and build.

It helps us to clearly see what it is and where we want to go, and I feel that this week, will be a time for planning, shifting, and changing. I feel that there will be more clarity gifted in all the probabilities which one is the best way to receive that which you want to and are meant to create on this planet in this life time. I feel that you will find a way to know yourself and your mind better.

I feel this week to be very much in the mental realms of planning, organizing, strategizing, and lots of learning in the mental realms.

What are the Akashic Records?

Trinity-College-Library-Dublin-1024x675The Akashic Records are an etheric storage place for the records of every piece of soul that ever separated from Source energy at some point. By etheric I mean it is a non-physical place that resides in another dimension. There are multiple dimensions layered up on each other, each having a different density than the others, or different frequency, allowing them to stack on top of each other. We don’t have to go very far to access these other worlds!

I like to think of the Akashic Records as a great big library, the biggest library you’ve every seen. I see all the shelves filled with books, and each book represents a single piece of a soul. So there is one book for my soul, one book for your soul, one book for your mom, one book for your beloved pet cat, one book for your houseplant, etc. You can understand that its quite a large library then!

These books contain everything about the individuals soul. If you were to open up my book you would be able to see all of my past lives, all of my future lives, all of my experiences, my destiny, my karmas, my memories, my lies, my truths. Absolutely everything about me is recorded and contained within that book, just like it is in yours.

It is said in occult lore that the Library is guarded by large Beings that will deny entrance if the intention is not pure enough to enter the library. There are also Beings inside the library that are very large that can help you find the information you are looking for. It is not wise to enter the library to try to find information to use against another person – that is not why the library is here, nor what its purpose is in being available to individuals.

The library supports the highest growth of the person who is accessing it themselves, or by another with their permission, by providing insights on their challenges, allowing the fast resolve of certain karmas, of providing clear guidance on life path and relationships. It will help you empower yourself and learn about how your past has created your present and how your present will create your future.

I believe that when you go see a psychic you are giving them permission to access your records and they gift you information from there. If they are a good psychic they will give you information that is true no matter what happens because they’ve accessed your destiny and are able to cut through all the rest of the probabilities. A good psychic will practice being a clear channel so that they do not change the information they are receiving based on their limited framework. To be a clear channel means that they receive the information and gift it to you as unchanged as humanly possible.

I also believe that everyone can access the Akashic Records. Some do it more naturally than others, but everyone can have access to at least their own records, and often loved ones. There are many trainings available to take to formally access the Records as well. I’ve not taken any so I cannot recommend any to you.

I have read this book and it was very good. It was recommended to me by one of my Mentors who specializes in the Akashic Record Readings.

Also Linda Howe I’ve heard is great at what she does. Her website is here, and her book is here.

Crystal Forecast May 4th- 10th | Diamond & Black Tourmaline

May 4th – 10th

This week comes with two cards. The first is Diamond, subtitled “Light Body”. The other is Black Tourmaline, subtitled “Protection”. These cards create a very interesting mix of energies this coming week.

Diamond speaks of a time when there is a large influx of energies coming into our systems in order to elevate us. As these energies are coming into our systems there is a change in our DNA. The more light the more the change. The more the internal change the more external the change is seen. This is a fast moving time and I am to remind you that the crystallization of the structures of our bodies is happening and must happen. As these parts of us change we will see the flow of our life changing and we will know that we have stepped forward with the planet and other souls who are ready and seeking the same that we are.

It is a wonderful time for these shifts to be happening and to continue to grow in our awareness is important. We must be conscious of what we are doing and what we are saying for it is our consciousness that creates awareness and through our awareness we can ensure that we and those around us are safe. Safe from what you say? Safe from taking on too much, safe from “vampires” or the ones who take too much energy usually unconsciously, safe from those who would want to keep you powerless.

The more conscious we are the more aware of the power we have and hold. This awareness grows into a beautiful powerful thing as we learn how to wield the power that is truly ours and honour it.