Tag Archives: love

Sleeping with Rose Quartz

I have started sleeping with a rose quartz ball that is about ten cm in diameter.

It sounds strange and uncomfortable, I know, but like many good things it just kind of happened.

You see, one of my friends gifted this beautiful piece of rose quartz to me and I placed the stone on my alter. A few days later I took out all my stones from their storage box many of the small stones asked to be placed on the alter to create a mandala of sorts. I ran out of room on the alter table for the rose quartz so I placed her in the middle of the bed with the intention to find her a suitable spot to live.

I ended up being in no hurry to move her because where she ended up on the bed was just too suitable – almost in the center of the room she ties in all of the crystal energies perfectly creating in my opinion, a near perfect crystal grid covering the room.

For past week I’ve woken up and found myself curled around this large rose quartz ball like she is a teddy bear! This subconscious action is interesting to me because for the past few weeks I’ve witnessed me blaming myself for things outside of my control, guilting myself for actions I’ve chosen to take, belittling and insulting myself, on top of all the crooked thinking patterns spoken about in the previous posts (click here and here to read them).

My mind can make my day rainbows and sunshine or a quicksand of hate and self-depreciation. It amazes me how much the mind can affect the day to day decisions that need to be made and how it colours all of my interactions with the people I meet. I wondered briefly if my state of mind could be seen so I began to watch people closer to see if I can determine their state of mind by the words that they use.

Frequently I can. It seems we reveal a lot more to the avid observer than we know or intend.

This in turn makes me reflect on my state of mind each morning before I leave the bed and the loving ball of rose quartz. I want to give the world my best, and I know now that every single interaction will reveal more about me than I am consciously aware of – I am not at the state of awareness that I can observe all levels of me and change it before it happens yet.

One would think that compliments and kind words from friends and strangers alike would lift one out of a negative state of mind but it doesn’t appear to be that way. I have come to the conclusion that it is a choice that determines which state of mind one is in. That choice is most often made outside of our awareness.

It can be hard to stay in the state of mind that one would prefer as well, simply because most human being, myself included are usually influenced by the people around us and the environments that we are in. I find it much easier, personally, to think a certain way until someone comes around that I like or respect who says something different.

My thought was a red helium balloon floating around bringing joy, laughter and smiles to all who saw it, taking me along for a ride in the sky until I allowed it to become deflated based on another persons thought.

It’s a challenge to refill a helium balloon that has a hole in it, even more so if the hole is just a pinprick causing a slow leak. Generally speaking, a popped balloon gets replaced, which is often what happens when a thought has been “deflated” – it’s been replaced with someone else’s idea or thought, not our own.

I feel that the Rose Quartz has been helping me immensely by sharing her loving energies with me each night. I no longer want to move her from my bed. She may be as hard as a rock, but she’s more energetically soft and love filled than a stuffed animal. It seems that when I am least able to give myself the self-love that I need this beautiful stone has stepped up to the plate, sharing her love every night that I need it.

This particular stone feels like a giant hug when its held and its power is strong. Rose Quartz is a stone well known for the love and healing energies that it gives off. Pink in color it works primarily with the heart chakra, and has been known to attract loving relationships into the users life. Rose Quartz is one of the more common stones, and asks that we take the time to take care of ourselves and practice staying centered in our heart. The world is full of joy and love if we are able to see and accept it and vice versa.

I’ve definitely noticed me shifting subtly from the negative mindset I was in a few weeks ago to a more positive and upbeat mindset. I’m on my way to the old me full of upbeat joy! I feel that her energies are helping me heal my heart and bring my souls love forth.

The shift I’ve noticed is not just from the Rose Quartz. I’ve been practicing gratitude and writing down what I want more moments of, and I’ve witnessed one of my friends who has been particularly inspiring to me as of late.

Throughout all of her circumstances, even in ones that, if I were her, I would’ve just been too angry to do anything but scream or cry she has taken them on with the most open-hearted joy that I have ever seen a person express. Everything has a positive to it, and she quickly finds it with laughter no matter what life has just served her.

I shared a quote with her that turned out to be one of the quotes that she has been aspiring to live for the past year or two, and is succeeding in:

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” – Buddha

Do you have a quote that inspires you? What is it? Any inspiring friend stories? What is your favorite stone/crystal to sleep with? Why?

P.S. I once slept with carnelian under my pillow, and had nightmares for all three nights he was there. I figured out later that carnelian vibrates best with the root chakra, thus it is better placed near the root when sleeping… lol. face palm.

The Merry-Go-Round of Self-Respect and Selfishness

This week was chalk full (where did that saying come from?) of stuff coming up for me. All of it I’ve looked at before and delved into it, but this time I knew it wasn’t a reminder. It was an invitation to go deeper, go through another layer, take another ride on the Merry Go Round.

The horses that I would ride on my beautiful red with gold gild carousel would be called Selfishness and Self-Respect. If I could give my love to both horses at the same time I would, however, I can only fully focus on one at a time. Thus I will do so:

Self-Respect

The class I’m in right now focuses on helping women gain employment skills and increase self-confidence and self-esteem. A common theme became evident in a classroom conversation when the teachers were out of class: All of us had met and dated men that did not respect women.

Many of us agreed that there definitely are men out there that respect women. Just how do we meet one?

I explained what we had noticed and put the following question to one of my good friends and sometimes mentor. “Why is it that we all seem to be  experiencing men who don’t respect women?”

Her response was a question: “How many of the women in your group respect themselves?”

Thinking about it, not many of us do. We are in the process of learning to respect ourselves. It shows through the significant differences that have emerged among all the women from our first day to now from the way we act, speak, and are taking care of ourselves.

On the flip side, how can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?

I began evaluating my life. How am I not respecting myself? What does it look like to respect myself? How would I define respect?

Here are some of the things that came to mind for me:

Boundaries. Trusting myself. Following my heart and my intuition. Giving myself what I need: space to contemplate and process, silence. Taking care of myself first.

What would it look like to respect myself? In all honesty, I’m not sure. I imagine I would feel empowered and strong. Guarding my boundaries would be second nature. I would know how I am feeling and how to respectfully state it. My voice would be used appropriately and be heard.

How am I not respecting myself? Boundaries are huge for me and learning what it is that I am feeling.

Its so important that to know what I am emotionally feeling. Often times I need a while to identify and process what I feel. As much as I would like to rush this process I need to allow it to flow. This will make my life easier, and when I am in relationships I will be able to better handle myself. It will become clearer to me why I am making the choices I choose.

Following my heart and intuition I feel I’m doing okay on. It is usually easier for me to follow my intuition but it gets cloudy when I don’t have the space that I need to allow my heart and intuition to speak.

Selfishness

It seems that we are programmed in Western Society to believe that taking care of ourselves first is selfish, and that selfishness is bad bad bad! I believe this to be a faulty thought pattern. As a healer I often hear, witness and fall victim to the thought that I must be selfless and therefore all that I possibly can to others. This is not true.

It came to my awareness last year that taking care of myself leads to me taking even better care of others. It made it okay for me to do what I need to do and not drop everything I was doing for other people. It was okay to ensure that I had a bit of time for myself each day.

I have noticed that still to this day I will allow other people to have more presence in my life than what I would personally like. For me one of the biggest acts of selfishness is taking myself away from others in time and in presence. This is also one of the healthiest things that I can do for myself.

Selfishness is a behavior that is trained out of us though that can benefit many. It allows us to clarify what we desire and want. It allows us to create and to be. It allows us to know ourselves.

Selfishness is not bad when it is not in the egotistical extreme. It is a good thing in many cases. We are living on this planet for ourselves, not for others. Yes, we may help others a long our way which is an experience that can create sensations of goodness, but ultimately our life needs to be lived for us. If we let others rule our life will we truly find happiness, contentment or joy?

Is it selfish that as a healer I will reschedule a session with a client if I do not feel that I can be fully present? A year ago I wouldn’t have, but now it is simply that I cannot give them a quality session when I am in a poor emotional, mental or physical state. This action takes care of myself and provides my client a better quality service.

As much as I have grown in this regard I still take better care of other people than I do myself.

Often I treat people in my life how I want to be treated, however I don’t treat myself nearly as well. Rarely do I spoil myself in ways that make my soul sing. It is easy for my boundaries to become mucky and my voice go unheard. Often experiences of silence that soothe my soul more than anything else disappear. Space that I require to process and contemplate I choose to relinquish because I want to spend time with others.

I love them more than I love me it seems.

Taking care of myself will automatically create self-respect and trust.

By being “selfish” I know that no matter what is happening in my life I will consistently take care of myself. Therefore I can trust that my needs are being met. Self-respect will grow.

The act of sacrificing a part of me because its “right” or because it will help someone no longer exists. I will stay whole, and I will stay me.

My horses seem to be brother and sister. Perhaps they are the beautiful chestnut horses that pull the carriage on my Merry Go Round. When I work with one the other becomes stronger, and vice versa. I love that they are so inter-related!

What do you think self-respect is? Thoughts on selfishness?

Twin Flames and Authentic Spirituality

This week was a rather slow week for me in the realm of doing things. I did a lot of thinking, and spent a lot of time formulating possible future plans for my business and where I would like it to go. Among a few key realizations I have a funny serious story to share with you! It’s kind of long, but I hope you enjoy it!

Inside this box that sits on my alter is two skeletons, together in love forever.

Last Thursday I had an Angel Card Reading that I had won. The reader was very good at what she does. It was an eye-opening experience for me. Before that reading I had always thought that my readings weren’t good enough, they weren’t as good as other peoples readings. It is definitely a line of thought that stems within my own family (the thought of not being good enough), and a thought pattern that is not helpful. After the reading I realized that my readings are just as good and as worthy as other people’s readings.

That was huge for me.

The reading was also a confirmation that I am on the “right” path. It also stewed up a bunch of stuff inside of me. She pulled the Twin Flame card. I tell you this because it directly relates to another knowing that completely formulated itself last night. Well, the Twin Flame card gets pulled, and she gets all excited, “You are going to meet your Twin Flame!”.

For those unfamilar with the term Twin Flame is considered the person to be your other half, the person who completes you, the ultimate partner. The connection is said to be very strong and fairly rare though more joinings are happening at this time more than any other time in history. It is said that when the Twin Flames join it is because they have a mission to accomplish on the planet for the good of all beings and it will be their last time reincarnated on this planet. There’s a lot of information on them on the web, my favorite piece on Twin Flames is the song Origin of Love by Hedwig and the Angry Inch. If your Twin Flame is not incarnate on the planet at the same time you are it, it is said that they are on the other side helping you as much as they can.

Back to the story! She’s excited, but when she see’s my face she realizes that I’m already in a partnership and her first question is: “Is he spiritual?”. My response is no.  She then tells me that I’m going to meet my Twin Flame in a little while from now, and it’s so exciting, she’s been trying to meet her Twin Flame for a while now, and blah blah blah. For myself this is not exciting. In fact, it makes me angry and very upset.

I had decided years ago that I don’t have a Twin Flame because I feel like the idea messes with the relationships that are in my life right now. My mind begins to try to decipher if the person I’m with is a Twin Flame, and if not, then I find myself distancing myself from the relationship. Thus I decided that my Twin Flame is not living on the planet, therefore I do not have to worry about meeting him! However in the last six months I’ve had a few different messages that a Twin Flame is coming. This reading was the final straw!

I wrote an angry letter to the my Twin Flame and his Guardians basically stating that if he comes into my  life it better be for good, because the term already messes with my head, and I won’t have that happening in the physical realm either. I “mailed” it to him by burning the letter, and after a minor freak-out made the decision that I would continue to believe I don’t have a Twin Flame incarnate on the planet at this time.

A flower I felted this week as I contemplated.

Why? Because I am an idealist. Because I believe that relationships with a significant other can provide huge learning opportunities, and can accelerate personal growth. Because I grew up with Disney movies, and a part of me wants to believe that a perfect knight armour is alive and meant just for me, all I have to do is wait for him. Because I choose to give myself entirely to the relationship that I have now, no question about it. I refuse to withhold any part of myself, “just in case”. Because my mind doesn’t need any fuel to screw me over.

As the week went I kept contemplating this. Something didn’t seem entirely right to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I began talking about this incident and some of my observations of men in my life. Something wasn’t sitting right with me. Then I spoke to the right person, one of my good friends. She said to me that my partner is spiritual, its just a different form of spirituality from what I’ve experienced. I didn’t get it. I spoke to Grams, and she said a similar thing. I still didn’t get it. But I kept trying!

And as I spoke to my best friend about it last night the realization occurred. People often in get lost in the doing of spirituality, the doing meditation, yoga, and other “spiritual” practices. Spirituality is not something that can be “done” but rather it is something that happens. It happens when a person knows themselves, is connected to themselves, and is therefore authentically them. A spiritual person is a person who is authentically being.

The practices themselves don’t really matter (they can be helpful), its the authenticity that the person operates from that does matter. Just because a person meditates, or does yoga, or any other “spiritual” practice it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are upholding stronger and clearer values than a person who doesn’t do any. I’ve definitely witnessed much of the opposite in my lifetime – people using those practices as an excuse to do what they want. This makes me happy because I no longer feel like I should be doing this or that. I feel like there is more acceptance in my heart now and more understanding.

And with that,

Have a great week!

P.S.

I became Food Safe Certified this week!! And a new business name is in the works! 🙂

New Moon and Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas everyone!

It’s that merry time of year, when everyone is supposed to be full of holiday cheer! This year does not feel like Christmas to me at all. I barely heard anyone, and I myself, say “Merry Christmas”. There is no snow on the ground here in Victoria, unlike in Manitoba where I’ve spent all my other Christmases. Alas, my bestie and I are set to make dinner tomorrow night, and pancakes, and it shall be a great day! I am making vegan gluten free pizza tomorrow, which I’m very excited to make!!

Today is the New Moon, and I have been happily paying attention to the moon cycles for the last few months. It helps me, refocuses me and see where I’ve come in the last little while. Check out the Manifestations page if you want!

I think too that the New Moon ceremonies help speed up the manifestation power, and helps me see where I need to be clearer in my life. Today I noticed that asking for a new job, in the past three months my requests have changed. One month I was asking for a job that pays $12/hour, then $18/ hour, then a loving peaceful environment with no pay listed… How is the Universe supposed to know exactly what I want and need?

Christmas is a time for love to enter the hearts of all humanity and for humanity to ascend into the Christ Consciousness. May you have an amazing journey!

Lot’s of love!

Serafina